addiction to self harm? please help

Former Member · March 2003

Ive started to relise more and more now how i am acctually addicted to watching my self bleed! its stared to scare me i jsut cut my self and sit and watch the blood run! no one ever sees or anyhting its not attention bt its started to scare me! i did it today i sat there adn watched this blood jsut run down my arm!
im now seriously scared!

anyone ever felt like this?

Former Member · March 2003

ive said that 2 u b4. exactly that. that im addicted to bleeding. all i can say is that it doesnt get better. im sorry to be the barer of bad news but life is a bitch and then u die

Former Member · March 2003

i know!
its just serioulsy i cant stop my self any mroe i sat in coffe rep doing it i was watching it! it felt nice to see the blood rush and to know that less of me was there to be damaged by something else!
fuck sake i balme al this on my stupid rents BASTARDS!

Former Member · March 2003

Please go talk to someone about this, it is possible to stop, my sister did this for years. She seeked help & no longer does it, she has found other ways of dealing with her problems.
Have achat with you doc & see what they suggest. Believe me, its more common than people think so they will have probably dealt with this before.
Good luck.

Former Member · March 2003

coffe rep? i was with u in coffe rep wen did u do it then? koby last saturday wen u wernt in, there was this girl who brrowed a safety pin from that guy who pierces his own arm and cut herself openly in front of everyone. it made me wanna be sick coz i just though 'how dare she turn a serious problem into entertainment.' i wondered if she had any idea wot its like to be so miserable and shaking and crying so much that the only way to stop urself passing out completely is to make urself bleed. please tell u didnt do it coffe rep where people could see u. or did u do it in the toilets. coz that really isnt much better. u said i make u happy. well clearly i dont or u wouldnt be miserable all the time. i want so badly to help u but i just dont know how. it used to be wen u were at home that u were miserable but now its with me aswel. its all the time. maybe u should get some proffesional help. u know i make every effort to stop people seeing wot a fuck up i am. look around. out of all my friends u are the only one who has any idea that i cut myself or that i throw up my food. i make an effort to be happy even wen i want nuttin more than to die but u hav just given up. u r letting ur parents win. they ruin everything and u r just letting them, even in town wen they r no where near us u still sit there being sad because u hav to go home to them. no wonder ur always miserable, u wont leave ur problems behind babes. i need to stop taking ur parents everywhere u go. leave them at home. ur parents cant control u forever. ur 15 in a few weeks. after that u hav one year left, just one year and u turn 16 and if u h8 it that much then, u can leave home and we'l rent out a flat in basingstoke or reading or sumwhere cheap. ok? please chear up. i dont know wot else to do. i love you

Former Member · March 2003

I self harmed on and off between the ages of 13 and 18. I don't know how much advice I can give, because I never saw it as an addiction. I didn't really cut to see blood run, I would just cut because I felt it was my only outlet to release anger/pain/whatever. Anyway, I sought help and it'll be a year in July of no cutting.

Do you want it to stop though? I only sought help because I wanted to, and it took a long time to do that, and educate myself on why I was doing it etc. Take care, if you want to chat about anything, pm me.

Former Member · March 2003

Useful factsheet:
http://www.thesite.org/info/health/other_mental_health/self_harm.html

Former Member · March 2003

i dunno if i want to stop but i no im scared! and it was in the toilets but today it jstu became a game i had a compass neddle half way through my arm and i persed my arm i have a star on my leg and a fuck of hole (hole no tme david stabed me cause i hit im

) but i mean it is a serious problem cause i cant tlel if i do it when im deprssed because i nearly always am my rents are arseholes and fuck up my life so badly! i jstu confused! (changes music this is to depressive) *killing in the name of - RATM - renagades* grrrr! lifes getting all to confuseing for my likin gat the mo!
hmmmm! a flat in basingstoke, cool! u surgested htat the other day it sounds so fun but do you do know that it will cost way over 20 thousan! my bro looked into it! its fuckign expensive! but hay if my rents hate me that much! LOL!
"now you do what they told ya"
YUCK my feet smell!
yeah back on subject, karla ive read that sheet, but still i cant acctualy justify a lot of waht i do any more! because im always depresed, my rents are never outa my head im alwayz lookiing around to make sure there not there! even if i know there not! the only time last year i was acctaully fully happy was when the two of em buggerd of to Dubia! i had my gran to contend with mut hay shes old! LOL!
i dunno what to do, ive tried to tell FruFru about my prblems but most of it is petty and jstu stupid! thats why i ca me here for help! beacuse i have no real reason i jstu really need some advice! is there any way any one else knows!?

Former Member · March 2003

i think i understand

you answered ur own question sweetheart. 'its become a game.' you hurt urself because u enjoy it. it doesnt make u feel better, its a hobby. ive said b4 that ppl do it for different reasons. u do it because its the one game that no one can take away. ur parents can stop u going out, havin fun, talking to ur friends, playing on ur ocmputer... but they cant stop u doing that because its ur game. and u like it. u like to bleed and u like even more to scar. im not judging u... i just think i understand y u do it. and another things babes. ur problems ARE NOT petty. they r so important to me. u mean the world to me and i love u and i dont care how small ur probs are or how depressed i may seem, i am always always here for u.

Former Member · April 2003

I can honestly say that I was addicted to cutting. I wasn't addicted to it to the point of just wanting to see the blood run, but addicted to the point that it seemed to be the only way and only thing that I was able to use to help me cope with my depression/sadness/anger/etc. and it became a horrible addiction and obsession at that time in my life, from the ages of 14 to the age of 19 1/2.

At one time I had gone 9 1/2 months without cutting then I cut again because I was going through something that I can not really explain, but I had cut just that once and now it has been 4 months and 5 days since the last time I have cut myself and I am trying my best to make it at least a year this time.

I totally understand what everyone has or is going through because I have been there and I still battle, every single day, to fight off the urges of wanting to cut again, but I have better coping skillls and am able to use those coping skills to better fight off the urge of cutting and to be able to fight off everything that I might go through from day to day.

I don't mean to put anyone down or to upset anyone, but there is always hope out there for everyone and if anyone would ever want to talk with me about my experience/s with self harming, please feel free to PM me.

MySuffice21

Former Member · April 2003

Hello *waves* .... I'm not really sure what to say to you about all this. I have experienced self-harming from lots of different angles. I have seen friends do it and then stop. I have seen friends do it who then moved on to other things and ended their lives. I have also dabbled in it myself. To tell the truth I don't think that any of those stories will really help you. You have successfully admitted that what you do is becoming addictive and therefore problematic!! That's one hell of a big step to make.

I don't know what problems you have at home but whether you use self-harming as a release or not you really need to stop doing it. It might fascinate you but it's clearly not helping. Talking through your problems might help and as somebody pointed out, you see this as a game. One which nobody can take away from you. What's the final object of this game though? Is it pain? Is it scars? Is it death? Whatever it is, all of the above are almost a certainty.

I want to help you but the only way I can do so is to offer my suport and friendship. Feel free to PM me if you ever want a shoulder to cry on or just someone impartial to talk to.

addiction to self harm? please help

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