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relationships at uni do they last?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey there i'm not realy into sharing stuff with ppl as i normally tend to keep it to myself but hey maybe this is worth a try... well i've been going out with my bf for about 3 months now and it's going really great! but the thing is that he's a yr older than me which means he's going to uni in september i know it's not for another 9 months but they way things are going we will still be together by then i just don't know if i can face loosing him! all the uni's that he's applied to are miles away n i dunno if we will last.. what do you think?
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make sure that you two talk a lot, that helps. when you guys do get together then it should be good because you are just happy to be together. not saying that it will last, but it could. just gotta try and work at it.
Think of all the other women he's going to come across....
PLUS....long distance relationships hardly ever work out.
Sorry, SweetLeaf X
they do if you work really hard and want them to. It won't be easy with him at uni cos he'll be meeting loads of new people, out every night and far away from you and you'll be at home. BUT if you both want it to work out there's no harm in trying is there? It will be hard but if you think it's worth it then give it a go.
psychics, dont ever have it right do they?:p
So, if you love him, try and go for it. if he loves you back he wont cheat (or shudent) and holidays arent all that bad. It creates tension or w/e so when you do see each other you will be more happy (or so the theory goes). I know it would be better to see each other everyday but if you stay in contact and talk to each other as often as possiblke it will only add strangth to the relationship. I get very upset just over the weekends when i dont see my gf!
I hope you decide what is best for you and are lucky with that!
I also know a few people who felt they never had fun in their 1st year at uni because they were always travelling at weekends and/or staying in to phone their other half.
I suppose there is a chance that a long distance relationship would work at uni but I am sorry to say it is highly unlikely.
this is true. i actually only know one couple that are still together, and they have a lot of problems.
it's not the long distance thing, it the change from being short-distance to being long-distance that people have trouble with.
and then there are so many new experiences that you share with the other people round you and not with your b/f or g/f.
long distance relationships DO work, I'm currently in one, but ours has always been long distance, we haven't had to adapt to anything. and it takes a LOT of will power/effort/faith in the relationship.
having said that, it's 9 months away, i wouldn't worry too much. you might not feel the same then, and if you do, it's a bridge to cross then, and not to work yourself up with now.
In my first year at uni I did feel very trapped and unable to do things as I was constantly either with my b/f as he was at uni about 20 miles away or on the phone to him. It meant I didn't meet people properly, didn't get close to my friends and felt left out a lot of the time, especially when I split up with him.
It also led me to change courses, but in the mean time i'd met my fiance and was really happy with him. the last thing I wanted was to go away and leave him. But I went off to uni and lasted 6 weeks, before quitting, basically under a threat that he couldn't cope and we wouldn't last me being there. Leaving was the worst decision of my life though it has to be said.
Uni isn't really a place for relationships, certainly not ones left at home. It sin't fair on the person left behind. Your there having a good time, out every night etc so ignoring that person, or it can go the other way where you feel miserable becuase you are never out because of talking on the phone to your partner etc.
Sorry to be negative it's just my opinion. Long distance realtionships can work if the effort is put in, I just don't think long distance in a situation like university can work.
But as everyones said, you do need to discuss this with him. It's for the two of you to decide whether you can cope with this strain and pressure.
:rolleyes:
________
Body Science
but if there is a will there is a way
i think...
if you love someone and they love you....
then nothing else matters
and the effort will be put in to stay together...
(ahhh... im such a dork
hope all works out for you