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Someone help. Please...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am so confused and unhappy, I really don't know what to do anymore. About a week ago, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel the same way about me anymore, that something was missing from our relationship and that he couldn't see us having a future together.
It was such a huge, terrible blow to me, because we have been together for such a long time and our relationship has always been incredibley intense and loving. He is everything to me, best friend, lover, everything, my whole world. Without him, I feel like I am literally crumbling away into nothing.
He says he has lost sense of who he is, that he needs to find himself, and that he can't do that with me. He says he still loves me, but not enough, obviously. We live together and still sleep in the same bed, but there is no touching at all. I long to do something as simple as hold his hand, but when I reach for him, he cringes, turns away. And it hurts so much. When I asked him about it, he said it just doesn't feel right anymore.
I really don't know what to do. The thought of living without him is impossible, but to go on living here as just a friend, never being able to touch him again, just hoping and praying that one day things might get back to how they were....I don't know. I am finding it so hard to cope, I keep having panic attacks, can't sleep, can't eat, can't think about anything other than how much I want to hold him again.
I don't know what is wrong with me. Him not wanting me anymore is making me question everything about myself, my appearance, my personality, everything.
It was such a huge, terrible blow to me, because we have been together for such a long time and our relationship has always been incredibley intense and loving. He is everything to me, best friend, lover, everything, my whole world. Without him, I feel like I am literally crumbling away into nothing.
He says he has lost sense of who he is, that he needs to find himself, and that he can't do that with me. He says he still loves me, but not enough, obviously. We live together and still sleep in the same bed, but there is no touching at all. I long to do something as simple as hold his hand, but when I reach for him, he cringes, turns away. And it hurts so much. When I asked him about it, he said it just doesn't feel right anymore.
I really don't know what to do. The thought of living without him is impossible, but to go on living here as just a friend, never being able to touch him again, just hoping and praying that one day things might get back to how they were....I don't know. I am finding it so hard to cope, I keep having panic attacks, can't sleep, can't eat, can't think about anything other than how much I want to hold him again.
I don't know what is wrong with me. Him not wanting me anymore is making me question everything about myself, my appearance, my personality, everything.
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Comments
We are also stuck in a contract with our house, which means we are legally bound to pay rent for another year and neither of us can afford to do that on our own.
I have thought all night about the pros and cons of our relationship pros =when im with him in his arms im happy, he can be lovely to me.
Cons = hes too busy, reffing comes first, argue all the time, he cant be bothered, when with him worry about things, when not with him worry about things crying all of the time and generally unhappy, and very stressed! which causes me to get angry with him resulting in arguments and him disliking me more its a vicious circle.
I know he is getting bored we both need a change i cant manage with this relationship much longer. the difference is i can walk away from it you will be forced with it constantly. You never get a break from him. In this contract cant one of you advertise for a tenant/housmate? hopefully the rent will be sorted and the other can lodge with a friend or reative temporaryily until you /he finds your feet?
That is just a suggestion if it gets seriously bad. i suggest you sit down and talk as if it was something that you have done wrong. You should find out why all of a sudden he has reacted in this way. there is a chance you can work things out. how long have you both been together? if he is willing to give things another go i think you should try to do a few more things with each other. i know someone who was with her boyfriend for 5 years they split up 7 months ago because tehy no longer felt the same way but if you talk to either one they regret it and want to get back together. they are afraid to admitt it. i know now is not the time but you could plan a holiday either together and not have any worries to think of. or go alone when you return he may realise that he missed you. if you have a break he may feel that he misses you and needs you.
either way communication is best if you feel that the relationship can be saved then try spicing it up do more different things together. but if the relationship has alrteady gone too far past saving (i think like mine) then you have to admitt that it has gone and try to work things out. I am here if you need to talk just PM me.
Goodluck
*DEVIL*