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TW// suicide
River
Community Connector Posts: 5,491 Part of The Furniture
currently crying because everything has fallen apart, this evening found out my sister has attempted to end her life and has had a bad attempt. I told someone I won’t be around for a bit and they proceeded to spam me so I was replying with just “ok” then he went “why you being short with me, I am sad by this and need to come off call with K” (my gf is k) then he went “idk what I’m going to do with myself. I’ve never had bad thoughts till now” so o snapped and said “don’t start I am not the cause to your bad thoughts” then he put “are you angry with me. I know I have not done anything wrong” and he said “do you enjoy making people feel mentally unwell” so I snapped and told him to leave me alone.
I spoke to Samaritans they basically said to forget about my problems and to prioritise my friend. So looks like I’m back to the therapist friend. G.r.e.a.t….
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
Comments
Hey @River, this sounds like such an awful thing to be going through, I am so sorry. We are all here to support you and listen to you through this. It must be so difficult when you need the time to process and look after yourself and have set that boundary, to then be expected to continue conversations that are in themselves very emotionally heavy.
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Were you able to take any time for yourself last night? And how are you this morning?
cried myself to sleep last night so idk what time I went to sleep. I feel shitty this morning I wish I wasn’t here @Billie
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
oh @River thats so much to deal with and I’m so sorry the Samaritans were so shit.
Take care of yourself today 🫂
That is completely understandable River, having that kind of reaction to such an upsetting situation makes sense. That being said, I am aware that it being normal to react in that way does not make it feel any better. Can I just check if you feel you are able to keep yourself safe?
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Is there any time today that you could take to look after yourself?
this is just fucking great. Found out my gf is in hospital after an attempted because her and her roommate have decided to attempt at the exact same time and now there sat there fucking rating it and laughing about it.
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
Hey @River that sounds so difficult that your gf is now in hospital, I can't imagine how that must feel for you. I'm sensing you might be feeling frustrated that your gf and her roommate are not taking the situation seriously. How is that making you feel I wonder?
@Callum its infuriating because suicide is important and dangerous but seems like a joke to them
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
@River That's completely understandable, it makes sense you're feeling infuriated with that happening and their reactions. Hopefully you can find some rest tonight from the stress of that situation. What might that look like for you?
@Callum i used to have calls with my girlfriend and R but that fell through yesterday so trying to see if my brother can sit on call with me till my sleep but idk he’s not answering :( I don’t like falling asleep alone anymore
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
Hey @River it's unfortunate that what happened meant that you didn't have that support from your girlfriend and R last night. You mentioned your brother, was he able to sit on call with you last night? You don't deserve to be alone in this.
@Callum no I was alone :(
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
@River That sounds so difficult, being on your own last night when struggling so much. You are doing a brilliant job talking through all of this tonight. Hopefully tonight you have something or someone who might be able to help you relax.
had another night of listening to my girlfriend complain. Idk what to do because she’s claiming the hospital won’t help but also I know how difficult and resistant she can get to the point she will be sedated at times or restrained :/ it’s too much.
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
Hey @River when you say it 'it's too much' we really understand you. It must be exhausting keeping up with this and worrying about what's happening to this person you care so much about. Did you manage to get some rest?