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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering Stuff Edition) w/c 23.03.26
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thanks again @eylah unfortunately i wont be around on the mix much longer because of all of the new changes to the platform, but when i turn 18 ill make sure to sign up to side by side so that i can reach out to you there.
@toffuna101 it's really sad all the changes that are going to happen. But it'll be good to see you on side by side.
Im really not doing good. Tonight/today has been pretty awful and im just done with everything
Hey @Chloe it sounds like last night was quite rough. I have sent a DM to check in with you further but I also wanted to check in here and ask how you're doing today? If you wanted to share more about what happened yesterday/last night (and you feel comfortable doing so - remember, there's never any pressure to share), then please do. We are more than happy to listen.
hi @toffuna101 . thought id check in with you. hru doing today? 🤍
Morning @Sabah im not great but im just plodding along - what I do best. Yesterday was just a tricky day because it was 4 years since losing my stepmom and we went to the pub in the evening which was just too overwhelming as well as horrible becayse a drunk guy decided he wasnt gonna leave me alone but all is okay now
im ok thanks
@Chloe that sounds like an awful experience. No wonder last night felt so rough for you. I did read what you shared on another post about your step mum and it was such a beautiful commemoration for her. The day was bound to bring up a lot of feelings for you and it was a shame it ended so badly. How are you doing today? Do you have any plans to do something nice for yourself?
@Sabah im still not doing amazing but ill be okay. Not really just staying in bed as long as i can before having to do cleaning in the house and mock preparation as I have a 4 hour one tomorrow
it seems there was a terror attack 10 minutes down the road from me:
https://news.sky.com/story/derby-latest-police-to-give-update-as-seven-injured-after-car-hits-pedestrians-in-city-centre-13525826
i saw that. how scary. are you ok?
@eylah yeah I'm fine thanks. It's literally 2 minutes from where i used to go to college, and 5 minutes from where i used to go to uni. I used to walk past it daily, and it's right where my doctors is. Just a bit scary is all.
i understand. im always here for you if you need to offload anything. im just making my lunch but im still here for you 🫂.
Im Just really not doing well. I dont know in a way im feeling worse than yesterday? I have a 4 hour mock assignment tomorrow which ive just been doing preparation work today for to try and embed some info in my mind ready for tomorrow but none of it is going in and im just in a completely different place. I just feel this pit in my stomach of numbness mixed with grief mixed with emotional pain mixed with sadness, anxiety and just a whole load of emotions.
I genuinely would just have the day off tomorrow if I could but I know I cant because if my mock but its really saying something considering ive even remotely considered having the day iff as im never like that. I feel like ive burnt myself out from just constantly pushing and pushing myself.
I dont know part of me wants to relapse with my self harm for a release even though ive gotten to 11 days clean but i dont know what i want anymore. My mind is in a dark place and its racing and im just stuck and fed up.
Why cant i just be okay?