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kinda sad
toffuna101
Posts: 3,894 Community Veteran
im kinda sad for my past self now that i look back at my old posts because i didnt use the boards when i was in the psychiatric hospital. i mean back then i remember logging into the mix on my phone and my psychotic symptoms worsened when i was on this website. idk why but i remember my voice gertrude mocking me and my delusions were in full swing back then causing me to close the website completely. so unfortunately i couldnt document my time at the psychiatric hospital. in hindsight maybe that was a good thing since i wasnt mentally stable enough so i couldve broken some of the community rules on accident. but still. you cant really change the past so i might as well focus on the future. speaking of being in the psychiatric hospital its almost been 2 years since my first psychotic episode. i cant believe time is going so fast.
Comments
Hey @toffuna101 thank you for sharing this, looking back on hard times takes a lot of courage, and it's so great that you are taking this period of your life that sounds so difficult as a way to reflect on how far you have come. Not being able to trust your own mind must have been scary and isolating and it makes complete sense to question if it would have been beneficial to yourself and the community if you were active on the baords during this period of your life.
wow 2 years! it sounds like you've done such a great job to be where you are today, what stands out to you the most about the last 2 years?
ummm i dont know honestly
Hi @toffuna101 , thank you for making this post. How are you this afternoon? I hear what you're saying about how a part of you feels sad for your past self. Would you feel comfortable sharing some more about that feeling, and which part makes you saddest?
It sounds like you were feeling very reflective, thinking back to how things were two years ago and finding it hard to believe that all that time has already passed. There's been such a huge amount of change @toffuna101 , and sounds like such a lot too that you've been coping with to get to where you are today.
im ok thanks @Sian321 no im not comfortable honestly.
That's okay @toffuna101! We really appreciate you sharing some insight into how things were for you back then and how far you have come. Would you be able to share a little more about what has helped you through all of that to get to how you are feeling today? (No worries if not though, no pressure to share!)
i dont know
No worries @toffuna101, it's normal to be unsure what might have helped you through this. Being in the psychiatric hospital and dealing with voices and delusions can't have been easy, you are so strong for pushing through this and telling your story today after the journey you have had.
I'm wondering how you are feeling now that you've reflected on the past couple of years and acknowledged the journey you have been on?
i feel more positive about myself honestly.