If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
thoughts after depressive ssri crashout
PetiteQuark
Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
So after all of that, i just apologised to everyone and honestly i dont care if someone thinks im faking everything because honestly the person who accused me of faking also accuses alot of other people too, and honestly it just wouldn't make sense if i was faking everything, and now i think of it i think it was silly for me to be so upset about it because only my gp and therapist would need to know what i feel and only they would be able to tell and i dont care if anyone accuses me of having NPD because that would just be an armchair diagnosis, if my gp or therapist say i dont then i dont and my gp knows about what ive been through since theyve literally seen me during panic attacks and stuff so yeah i just think that was stupid of me to even care a little bit even too i guess.
I still think its a pretty serious thing to accuse anyone of having any personality disorder or invalidate people regardless especially if you dont work as a therapist or a psychologist still.
And not even just that I'm not even the first person to be accused of personality disorders by this guy too, like he also accused other people he knew, some of my (former) classmates, and also I only spoke to that guy for like a year when I did my y1 alevels which didnt work out since i didnt really like the subject and also i was kinda depressed too back then (literally diagnosed with it)
I still think its a pretty serious thing to accuse anyone of having any personality disorder or invalidate people regardless especially if you dont work as a therapist or a psychologist still.
And not even just that I'm not even the first person to be accused of personality disorders by this guy too, like he also accused other people he knew, some of my (former) classmates, and also I only spoke to that guy for like a year when I did my y1 alevels which didnt work out since i didnt really like the subject and also i was kinda depressed too back then (literally diagnosed with it)
2
Comments
It sounds like you’ve done a lot of self reflection after this situation with the armchair diagnosis and invalidation, and you are grounding yourself in what you know to be true and especially trusting your therapist and GP over these opinions, that takes a lot of strength.
Honestly i have others around me but i feel kind of guilty because i probably irritated them too but i have others who are around me yes, like i do have other friends who ive known for years and my relatives too, so thats the other thing if someone accuses me of having whatever disorder i literally have people who knew me for years if not pretty much my entire life. I can't really tell if im shut down or if im calmer but to be honest i really don't care, they're not my therapist or gp or whatever they dont have a psych degree or anything like that and i was just afraid that i would get 30+ messages with cuss words and accusations and stuff and im just scared if they do other things too and i do feel really guilty because i basically annoyed alot of people with my depressive crazy crashout tantrum thing
well, they just did stuff that (in the past) i found kind of weird and dangerous and stuff and maybe a little unhinged too, i couldn't really tell if it was serious or not, and just the amount of swearing, they also asked if they could have antidepressants to get high off of (which doesn't even make sense antidepressants dont get you high and they take weeks to even work, even i knew this way before i started taking them) but even then I cannot tell if they were serious or not about that, and im not even the first person they accused of being a 'narcissist' or whatever and i found it weird as heck that they wanted to speak to people i knew that they didn't.
Also just some of the stuff they were into was a bit weird too so i am a bit scared i wont lie.
Like at one point there was this friend or idrk friend of a friend he used to talk about positively, i never met them or knew about them so i didn't question it and then at some point they just switched up on that person and called them mean things and stuff.
I still dont get how one could 'fake' a panic attack when panic attacks have physical symptoms and i literally went to the doctors during one too so yeah idrk how can anyone fake it. And panic /anxiety attacks and autism kind of run in my family so now that i think of it its probably genetic and im guessing it can be fixed with therapy and maybe time because ssris take a while.
Also they havent even seen me for idrk how long ever since i left that school and i only was friends with them for like less than an academic year? Idrk i was kinda depressed too at that time and stuff? It was just really frustrating to deal with those accusations and constant pressuring and cuss words and it was hard to reason w them and them saying 'youre a liar youre lying tf you are lying' and just labelling around random cluster b disorders at me, honestly my dad has even called me stuff like sociopath, other cluster a/b disorders just because i dont like being around people alot of the time or because im always panicky and upset or annoyed when now i think of it none of those people even have the right or are qualified enough to have the right to diagnose me or any others with those things but im still kinda scared though, because ive been through bullying (i used to get bullied for how i looked , like i would get followed and get called ugly or have my flaws pointed out at me) and i get scared because of that even though i haven't been through bullying in years i still get scared, and like im worried if people see me by how i acted during my depressive crashout or when i panic or if people think im faking it all (which wouldn't make sense) or something. It just hurts. It hurts so bad. Ive suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for so so long and i only got help for autism way too late and depression just sucks and ssris suck too for the first few weeks, and idrk it was just so invalidating too.
Honestly there were like two separate groups one with my science one with my friends who i know for ages (+ the other guy who is friends with the one who spammed me and stuff) and honestly i just apologise to them, i apologised to all my friends especially the ones who i knew for long and hope they understand, but tbf i dont really trust 2 anymore, but the one who cussed at me and everything i just deleted them
honestly i kinda felt some weird vibes because the guy who cussed at me and called me those things did some crazy things before, and honestly at first i didnt want to speak to anyone who went to my old college, i actually barely attended since it wasnt that good, my timetable was messed up and i had other plans (wanted to leave, or go to the OU etc) idrk i get really extra impulsive when im depressed and not care about anything ,and they just kept calling other people narcissists and stuff. Idrk, im not a psychologist but i just think throwing around random labels isnt right. Like honestly before i used to be bothered when people threw around random labels at me like, people used to call me crazy and weird and say im schizowhatever its called or just give out random cluster b disorders call me a sociopath before and i used to get bothered by it but now the more i think of it the less i care because theyre not actual professionals who can diagnose anyone with disorders. Like what im worried about is that they used to tell me how they got excluded for stuff and other things so i got genuinely afraid they would do something but yeah, we dont even go to the same school anymore and also, we were in the same class for a brief period of time and even then i used to have alot of days off at that school.
honestly it'd be even more messed up if they ever find out that i wasn't lying, had other issues going on and that they were just accusing me, which i dont think would happen bc the only ones who know im not lying are my family and maybe my friends who knew me for very long and my gp and therapist ig, also im still wondering why on earth would anyone think ssris could get you 'high" or whatever like thats literally not how they work at all, but yeah someone who thinks that wouldn't understand that spamming people 30+ times and accusing them of stuff isnt a great idea. Especially if you dont even know how old they are like, he hasn't even seen or even spoken to me in so many months! Literally forgot how old i even was, i still have like, 4 months til i turn 19, im still not even in my 20s yet idrk where they got that from.
Idrk i just felt what they did was stupid like given the fact that ssris first make you very anxious and panicky and sometimes for some people they feel even worse or even more depressed at first i would never spam them or accuse them of anything or call them pathetic, because who knows what theyre going through and sometimes ssris might not even work and can make some people feel
But yeah its just in the past they mentioned that they did crazy stuff which in my opinion seemed like too much (like throwing stuff, getting excluded etc) so i genuinely became a bit scared for a while, but then i think its just my mind playing tricks on me. Again, i know im not perfect i have my own issues but i just didn't like being spammed and overwhelmed by those accusations the aggression and armchair diagnosis. I dont think they'll actually hurt me though