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Im really scared
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 6,217 Master Poster
I feel completely overwhelmed right now. I’m about to start induction for this cleaning job, and even though it’s supposed to be simple, I feel like I’m already failing before I’ve begun. I keep thinking if I can’t manage this, what hope do I have for anything else? Even if I can do it, is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? I feel like I’ve barely got any options, like I’m stuck in this tiny box, and I keep overthinking every possible failure. Early this morning I felt dizzy. Even though it’s just brief dizziness that happens once in a while, my mind immediately went into overdrive. Sometimes for a while I feel fine, but other times I feel scared, like time is just ticking and I’m running out of options. What if it’s something serious? What if it affects my driving? What if I can’t work? It’s like one small feeling spirals into imagining the worst-case scenario for my whole life. I just feel like everything is stacked against me, like every step forward is terrifying. I want to do something, make progress, have a future I’m proud of, but right now it feels like I’m stuck, scared, and constantly on edge. I’m just scared. I just need some relief from this constant pressure in my head.
I’m sorry to keep moaning. I’ve complained for ages about not having a job, and now I’m saying I’m terrified and still complaining.
I’m sorry to keep moaning. I’ve complained for ages about not having a job, and now I’m saying I’m terrified and still complaining.
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Comments
Thank you so so much @AnonymousToe ❤️, really appreciate the encouragement, I hope you're well
This dizziness you mentioned must feel so overwhelming and it sounds like you are under a lot of pressure, from what you've said it sounds like you really care about your future and you want to build something that you are happy about, this is amazing and a mindset that you should be really proud of! Although it may feel so diffucult right now, please give yourself grace and take a momement to pat yourself on the back for where you are now.
Hey thank you so much @Verity its a few stuff thats causing distress like the stigma of cleaning jobs, Im scared what people will think of me and also just Im scared of failing, not being good enough because cleaning is supposed to be one of the most simple jobs there's so much more pressure if I do that I can't do any job, especially with other setbacks Ive had and being out of work, Ive struggled to find my feet. Ive got thid, "If I can’t do this Im done for" stuck in my head.
An induction day is simply a beginning and you are not expected to know everything or be perfect. It is a time for learning, settling in, and finding your footing.It is completely okay to take it one small step at a time. This role does not decide who you are or who you can become. It is just one step you are taking and every step, no matter how small, can open the way to many other paths ahead.
When you are under ongoing stress, it is very natural for your mind to notice even small sensations and imagine worst-case scenarios. Feeling brief dizziness or sudden waves of fear is often a sign that your body and mind are tired and anxious. These feelings, scary as they can be, will ease with time and you will feel steadier again. Remember you are doing your best and that is more than enough.
It’s completely understandable to feel pressured or limited right now, but those feelings don’t define your reality. You are not falling behind, and you are certainly not stuck. You’re moving forward in your own way towards a better future and that absolutely counts. Progress does not have to be dramatic to be meaningful and it is a sign of determination to keep going even when things feel hard. You have already shown a lot of strength and resilience simply by continuing to try, by reaching out, and by acknowledging your fears. Your path is yours alone, and it does not need to match anyone else’s timeline. Every effort you are making matters and is something to be proud of.
Please do not judge yourself for feeling scared after wanting a job for so long. Growth often brings uncertainty before it brings confidence. You are allowed to take things slowly, to learn as you go, and to focus only on what is immediately in front of you. You do not need to solve your entire future right now.
You are welcome here, and your worries are taken seriously. You are capable of more than you can currently see, and this heavy pressure in your mind will ease. Be gentle with yourself and take heart in the fact that you are moving forward, even if it feels unsteady.
Even if you can’t see it yet, you are doing much better than you realise and you are moving forward. Take each step as it comes, and trust yourself to handle what’s in front of you.
Thank you so so much @Ech0 this is really helpful, seems like you put a lot of effort into this reply, you're too nice ❤️
You meantioned the ''If I can’t do this Im done for" mindset you have. It sounds like you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure which can make things harder for yourself, sometimes it's better to tell youself you can do it rather than expect the worst, but I understand that it's easier said than done. I'm sure you might have a lot of expectations on how your induction will go, and from what you've said, it sounds like your expectation in your mind is negative? I wonder what comes to mind when you imagine the induction being more positve, how does that day look?
@Verity I do definitely feel negative like even if it does go well, I never planned to grow up and be a cleaner and I just feel ashamed like I've failed. Its really hard to be positive, I guess thst would be, having a friendly manager and colleagues and beleif Ill be ok. Thank you so much Verity for you support , encouragement and positively, it means the world to me