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Comments
Its ok now im alot less panicky now i suppose its because i stopped taking antidepressants for like a week but im back on them now and im alot less panicked and more logical now.
Honestly i feel alot calmer now i just took my antidepressants today and idrk if its plaxebo or not but i just feel calmer and more logical now. I do feel kinda embarrassed though
@PetiteQuark there's no need to be embarrassed, it's totally okay. Honestly I often feel scared and anxious after seeing things like that on the internet, you're definitely not alone in that. I'm glad you feel calmer now
It's also totally okay if you need a vent. That's exactly what these threads are here for, and our Community is here to listen and support you with whatever is going on for you right now.
Tw: suicidal thoughts
I'm hearing that your parents have been quite dismissive when you've tried to open up to them, which I can imagine may feel painful or isolating. Would you say that's right? Even so, it does say a lot about your strength being able to reach out here and the fact you're aware of the numbers you would need to call if the thoughts got worse and you started feeling unsafe. Having numbers ready is a really positive and proactive thing.
You mentioned that whilst you haven't been diagnosed, you suspect you have struggled with depression for a few years, and that maybe what you are experiencing and feeling does fall into the symptoms of depression. I wonder if you've spoken to any medical professionals about how you're feeling, if you feel comfortable sharing with us?
It also sounds like over the last few weeks it's been feeling like you're stuck in a cycle of falling apart and then recovering again. Recovery and healing isn't linear, and can actually be quite unpredictable with lots of ups and downs. Going through this cycle doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong - in fact it shows that you're actually trying your best to look after yourself, even when it's hard and you're struggling. It's totally okay to allow yourself to not be productive right now if you're not in the headspace to be. It's so important you look after your own wellbeing and if you need to rest or do nothing, then do that.
You don't have to have all the answers right now or to figure all of this out on your own. We're here to listen, and we'll be here if you feel comfortable sharing some more.
I haven't been able to speak to any professionals about how I'm feeling - it's hard to explain really but my parents are very distrustful of professionals and authority figures in general so I've never had the opportunity to, though I hope that in the future when I'm more independent I'll be able to, it's just not something that's possible right now.
Thank you again for listening, it honestly helps a lot just reading that and knowing people care.