tw suicide.

eylah · November 8

my friend is telling me they’re actively suicidal idk what to do.

i tried msg calm for them asking calm what should i do but they weren’t helpful at all

. i rly don’t want my friend doing anything to themselves but i rly do not know what to do. i’m stuck on what to do

. i feel so helpless

. i have so much on i can’t manage to cope with such stress like this but i have to be here for my friend bc she matters so much.

im so stuck.

Redemption · November 8

@eylah Im really sorry you're going through all this, if you haven't already, encourage them to call emergency services if they are ever unsafe. Please make sure to look after yourself too ❤️

Nathan · November 8

@eylah You're such a kind friend, looking out as best you can for them, but it shouldn't have to fall entirely on you eylah. I know you might not like this suggestion, because of things that have happened in the past, but if you think there's a genuine risk of suicide, then you need to contact emergency services for them. I know that it might be difficult, but safety comes first. Or perhaps a better option is to at the very least get them to ring a support line like Shout, who can better assess and support them. And if shout thinks there's a risk, if needs be, would ring emergency services themselves.

And also what i want you to do if it's okay, is to take a minute, and for you to realise what a good friend you are being to them, reaching out to try and get support for them, even despite everything your already battling with.

Katie · November 9

Hey @eylah it sounds like last night was a heavy evening and you did really well to be there for your friend. How are you feeling today?

Whilst we aren't able to support your friend directly unless they use our services, I wanted to let you know that when someone is currently in crisis, the first thing we recommend is urging them to contact crisis services themselves - Samaritans, Papyrus, Shout, 999 or A&E. Is this something you felt able to do?

If they don't want to, that's okay. It's not your responsibility to keep them safe, and sometimes the best thing is to allow someone to make their own decision. People tend to be more capable than we give them credit for, even in crisis, and it's okay to give them and you some space.

Another option is to contact 999 for your friend yourself. We would only recommend this if you think they are in immediate danger and need emergency services to intervene directly.

I'm hearing that you have a lot on right now and this might've felt like an added stress. It's also really kind and considerate that despite this, you want to be there for your friend because she matters so much. You're right that she matters, but so do you Eylah. It's really important you're able to keep yourself safe too. Your wellbeing and emotional safety is important, which means getting the support you need.

You can contact crisis services to ask for help supporting someone else, and they'll happily chat to you. But, if you feel you've reached the end of what you can do, it's okay to say that and set some boundaries for now. That might mean saying something like "I care about you, and I feel that I've done what I can as your friend right now, so I'm going to take a step back from this conversation". This can help give you the space to step away for now, because you are not a crisis worker Eylah. Being there as a friend is one thing, but there's a reason why dedicated crisis services require a lot of training and supervision to work on: it's difficult and requires a lot of support to do long-term.

How does this feel Eylah? We'll be here for you today on the boards and in our Support Thread 11am-12:30pm if you want to share a little more how you're doing.

sinead276 · November 10

hey @eylah - hopefully your friend is safe now and you are in a more calm and comfortable position. You are an amazing friend and they are lucky to have someone like you looking after them with so much love. Remember to take care of yourself too as this can be an overwhelming situation for anyone. We are all here for you

63marie · November 10

Hey @eylah, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, that sounds like a really scary situation. How are things now? You deserve to take care of yourself too, we're all here to support you

eylah · November 10

thankyou everyone

. she keeps msg saying triggering stuff to me and it’s rly triggering. so I have taken a step back bc it’s to much for me to handle. thankyou everyone who has responded

.

Nemuritai · November 10

eylah wrote: »

thankyou everyone . she keeps msg saying triggering stuff to me and it’s rly triggering. so I have taken a step back bc it’s to much for me to handle. thankyou everyone who has responded .

Hey @eylah, I know I'm late to this thread but I'm truly sorry to hear that you had to go through that, it must have been incredibly difficult. It's absolutely acceptable to take a step back, and it's really good of you to protect your own wellbeing. I hope you're doing alright - take care of yourself, and remember we're here for you

tw suicide.

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