Long term struggling

I’ve been struggling for a long time now and really want to get sorted with work. I’m still healing from hurtful comments that were said to me, and it’s been tough feeling like I’m trying so hard in the job search but not getting anywhere. I’ve been stuck in this position for a few years, and this time of year always hits hard as it feels like another year has passed without progress while everyone else seems to be moving forward. I’ve had low mood, sensitivity, and self-esteem struggles, and I don’t feel like going out, going on holiday, or meeting friends much. Some of that might just be me, but I mostly stay home and don’t do things I used to enjoy. I know the job market is difficult, but I see others finding work while I’m still waiting for my chance. I’d even be happy with a temporary or festive role and have applied for a few, though I’d prefer something permanent. I just worry that after a temporary job I’ll be back at square one again.

I’ve had support from organisations and done courses on confidence, CVs, cover letters, and teamwork, but nothing much has come from them. Despite the effort, I’m still in the same position heading toward Christmas, just like the past few years. It’s all really tough, and while online spaces have helped me cope, it’s not the only reason I’ve stayed sane. I feel like a big change needs to happen and I’m strongly relying on that. I’ve had several interviews since early last year but no success, and I regret being late to a couple of them. I’ve learned from those mistakes and am determined not to let it happen again. I’ve been trying to keep going, but after so many setbacks, I just want things to finally turn around.