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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 20.10.25
Leyla
Community Manager Posts: 417 Listening Ear
This is a space to chat or vent about whatever might be on your mind right now, nothing is too big or small!
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.
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Im just fucking slated for everything I fucking do
i hear how much you’re struggling right now with wanting to have a friend that actually will stay in your life, it’s totally understandable to want that and for sure very common to experience too! i can totally relate to that feeling, just waiting on everyone to leave as that’s what they always do - sometimes it’s for the best though with how people can treat you but you are so deserving of people that will treat you the way you deserve in life. is there anything you could maybe join to make friends? i know it can be hard in places like education or work, so maybe something with more of a focus on socialising? it might really help you
@Cutelivejazz I know what you mean jazz. It's hard, especially when you've faced so many issues with past "friends" betraying you before, so it's normal to be wary of friends, but also normal to want to have a friend in person too despite all of that. And it can feel confusing. What i will say is that there are still some good people out there. Not all will stab you in the back.
i know it might feel impossible right now, but the right people will come, the ones who actually see and appreciate you for who you are! i’m really proud of you for opening up about all this, it takes a lot of strength to share something so personal, i know it isn’t easy
@eylah that sounds exhausting. Aren't you able to talk over facetime or something so you don't have to go so far?
i want to see him. plus bc of everything that’s happened past few days i need a break from my home town. so ive decided going to him for a mini holiday will do me gd.
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
@so_very_tired don't worry friend, you've done nothing wrong at all. That's not a helicopter parent so_very_tired, that's a helicopter parent with a radar and sonar kit and then some. An work experience position is a work experience position, no matter what. It's something that A) you can put on your CV and B ) is something that can get your foot in through the door in the catering industry. At the end of the day, you have the knowledge, it's just the experience you need i assume. And the reality is that all entry level jobs aren't prestigious or anything, but good for starting out. So i can only imagine how enraging it must be to have a position locked down, only for your mother to swoop in and pull the rug out from underneath you. It really isn't fair at all on you.
And for your mum to have called you during a therapy session, that is just madness. My advice, put the phone on silent and ignore her call during therapy sessions. It really seems incredibly toxic and uncaring. Interrupting your mental health support, pulling the rug out from underneath you for a position in the industry, and then to tell you what she did over call? That's incredibly toxic. It's your life and your path, not hers. The term helicopter parent really does stick here.
And lastly, you are 100% right that the college should have informed you. It's your future, you doing the course, you doing the work, you are the one who needs to know everything going on. It's not your mum doing the course. I'm sorry but how in the heck is it considered okay to be told by the college that they can get you a position, and then after who knows how long, you find out through your mum that they aren't trying to get you a position on her orders, and the college have left you in the dark, wasting time that could have been put towards searching for other positions. That is outright sabotage, from your mum and your college, or at the very least, negligence.
How you are feeling is entirely valid, and you have every right to be outraged friend.
I don't really understand what my parents are angry about, I'm assuming they're stressed out right now, but they've been taking it all out on me this past week. I generally don't get on great with them but recently one of my parents ends up shouting hurtful things at me whenever I'm around, so I've been trying to keep to myself. They've been telling me that I'm useless and pathetic and that they want me to move out as soon as I'm old enough because it's 'hell living with me'. I'm not entirely sure what I've done for them to say those things and they usually don't shout at me like that, but I've been feeling kind of empty and low lately and my parents just minimise me whenever I tell them and say I'm just sulking, which I'm not. I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to act around them right now, because they seem to get angry whether I talk to them or stay out of the way. I hope that didn't sound too confusing.
@so_very_tired you have every right to be pissed. Even if it has worked out in the end, that doesn't make it okay what happened. If it was in some sectors, that entry position would have been filled within the hour. You shouldn't have been left in the dark by your mum and your college for so long, you shouldn't have had that temporary pause on things with the internship, and you shouldn't have had the rug pulled out from under you in the first place at all, or temporarily been blocked from going down the path you chose. Just because the rug got put back, and no lasting impact was done, it still doesn't make it okay.
firstly, thank you for sharing this with us as i know it’s not easy to talk about such things! i can kind of relate to a lot of what you’ve said too from my own experience but please know this isn’t your fault, even if it feels like it is right now.
it sounds really painful, and you don’t deserve to be spoken to like that, especially when you’re already feeling low. it makes sense that you’d feel empty and unsure how to act, that’s you just trying to protect yourself.
their words don’t define you - you’re not useless or pathetic, i promise! you are so deserving of kindness and support.
i wonder if you have any support around you? if you want to share, no pressure! we’re all here for you
@Nemuritai no worries, rambling is perfectly okay. I call it venting myself, so no need to apologise for getting things of your chest. It isn't confusing at all.
Parents are supposed to be supportive, caring, and encouraging. What your parents are doing is the exact opposite. They are demeaning you, and bringing you down with cruel insults, demoralising you bit by bit, and over time, that really destroys a persons self worth and self belief and has lingering long term effects on mental heath. And then to dismiss and and minimise the impact it's having on you as "sulking" is outright cruel. I want to assure you right now on that point that what they saying is utter crap. If somebody who is supposed to be supportive does the opposite and demeans you and belittles you instead, that says more about them than it does about you. If there was an issue, parents should sit you down and talk calmly about the issue and nudge you in the right direction on it, but for them to instead try and break you down with insults and belittling comments instead, is outright wrong.
I know that it's hard to when you get shouted at when you try to keep to yourself, but also get shouted at when you make yourself known and are present, and it can be confusing. And i know this won't make any difference, but i want to say that you do deserve better than that.
@toffuna101 the good news is that it is only a mock. Mock exams are there to learn from, to practice from, to see where you get things wrong, and then improve on those things. I know it might feel demoralising, and even somewhat crushing, but i want to make this clear that it's a learning experience, and won't impact your final grades of your course.
So try and learn from the things you struggled with this time, and you'll do even better next time. Also, mock exams can be quite interesting. Also, Some people think they do terrible on them, but are surprised to get really good grades instead. Try not to jump to conclusions with it yet, as you might have even surprised yourself.
To answer Shannon's question, I don't really have anyone to talk to in real life, I only have my parents really. It's kind of complicated but I've always been quite isolated, and just bad at communicating in general, so I've never had any friends or anyone to talk to. But I'm really grateful to have this community to turn to, and although I've not been here for long I really like it here.
@Nemuritai I only made my first ever friends 6 months ago when i joined here. I fully get being isolated and how much of an impact and toll it takes on your mental health, and to have the only people you talk to being so hostile and demeaning, but i can promise you that you'll always have friends on here who will listen to you, support you and who genuinely care about you. You aren't alone anymore friend.
i understand how that feels @Nemuritai in terms of not having anybody to talk to in real life, that’s been my situation for several years too but i’ve met so many amazing people on here! apologies if you already know but there’s also lots of chats that happen too (the weekly schedule is in the community announcement section of the boards) and also in the halloween section there is some info about stuff happening over halloween too. in case it’s helpful for you here’s a list of other services too that may be helpful for you - you deserve support
nhs 111 - england / scotland / wales (option 2 for mental health)
phone first - northern ireland (8am-6pm monday-friday; the number will vary depending on the health & social care trust area that you live in)
out of hours - northern ireland (6pm-7:30am monday-friday, 24/7 weekends; the number will vary depending on the health & social care trust area that you live in)
999 - england / scotland / wales / northern ireland
uk helplines - some of these are specific to england / scotland / wales / northern ireland & also depend on age too:
childline (24/7) - call 08001111
shout (24/7) - text ‘shout’ to 85258
hopeline (24/7) - text 88247
samaritans (24/7) - call 116123
lifeline (24/7) - call 08088088000
papyrus (24/7) - call 08000684141
inspire wellbeing (24/7) - call 08081890036
community advice and listening line (24/7) - call 0800132737
knus (24/7) - whatsapp 07700165687
mind (9am-6pm) - call 03001233393
rethink mental illness (9:30am-4pm) - call 03005000927
kooth (12pm-10pm) - webchat on website
saneline (4pm-10pm) - call 03003047000
calm (5pm-12am) - call 0800585858
suicide prevention uk (6pm-12am) - call 08005870800
sos (8pm-12am) - call 08001151505
And it's not rambling at all, it's talking. Nothing wrong with either talking or rambling btw.
I was never trying to make the implication that any of this was okay and I think one of the main reasons why my mental health is so bad right now is because of the internship and some family problems, they have both put a lot of stress on me. But at least one of them was sorted out.