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Comments
@Redemption i know how much of a struggle it is, fearing aging out of here, but i just wanted to say, it doesn't make the connections you make here any less significant. And you never know which members you might run into on other platforms like side by side and other platforms like that. It is difficult, and it does feel like a barrier, but those connections you make here won't be lost bro. You have several years still mate.
@Cutelivejazz ouchie, how did you burn it if you don't mind me asking?
@Cutelivejazz that is beyond messed up. Accidents happen. I spilled a bowl of something i had warmed up in the microwave once all over myself (dear lord it hurt) just before a watch party. Accidents are inevitable. There is not a single person in this world who hasn't had an accident at one point or another. The fact that you were in pain, told your dad and you got yelled at for having an accident isn't right at all. And for your mom to do the same is just awful. You really don't deserve to be treated that way.
For my burn, i had to submerge my hand in a bowl of water for like an hour for the pain to stop. So if it still hurts, it might be worth doing the same. And if your parents allow it, maybe take an ibuprofen if it's still hurting after a while. And if it still hurts after 24 hours, try and see a GP. I'll just drop this link here for you: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/burns-and-scalds/treatment/
@Cutelivejazz glad to hear it's not too bad, but the point still stands about you not deserving to be treated that way by your parents
@DonnerKebab cheers dude, I could always ask members to join there too thats what I'll probably do.
@Cutelivejazz it's okay to be clumsy. You'd laugh at half the clumsy stuff I've done. Everybody is clumsy at points, and for a lot of people, they can be clumsy a lot of the time. Doesn't make it okay to be treated poorly or be shamed for it. Accidents happen, and nobody has gone there whole lives without having accidents like that.
And I'm afraid you'll have to settle for a virtual hug jazz 😂
@Redemption i'm working on my own platform, specifically for those who age out of the mix too. I've mentioned it before, and whilst it's a fair way of being done, it's something.
And People from here will move on to other sites like side by side and others nearer the time they age out, so as i say, it won't be a goodbye to those connections forever.
@Cutelivejazz and for what it's worth, you're doing a great job of it, especially given the circumstances you're in, and all the challenges you're facing. So well done.
@DonnerKebab thats great, I could keep in touch with hopefully as many if y'all as possible, also a big thing is going to be the mods too as they're all absolutely fantastic so going to be hard losing them. I know about your platform and it sounds great you're doing that it just shows what a top top lad you are.
@Cutelivejazz Of course you can
@Redemption i know, the mods are all awesome here. What i will say is make the most of the several years you've got here redemption. It will be hard saying goodbye to them, but don't let that fear in the future, distract you from here and now bro, and making the most of it here.
And yeah, even though you will be saying goodbye to a few people when that day comes, it won't be goodbye to everybody.
@Cutelivejazz so, i might get some of this wrong or misinterpret parts, and i might not fully understand everything, so just a quick disclaimer there.
Imposter syndrome is completely normal to feel, especially when you always have pressure on you to be the one who succeeds, the one who's believed in, and weight of expectations is crushing. It's so easy to fall under the feeling that you aren't smart enough, or that you are a failure at times, and not as smart as others. It's especially common in situations of high expecations in fact. But, i just want to say, just from those mind maps you wrote up the other day, just from the fact you got admitted to take the courses your on, shows that you do belong in those classes, and you are smarter than you give yourself credit for. It's hard to drill it into yourself that you do belong in that class, as a life of heavy expectations can cause really difficult imposter syndrome, but i just want to say, from a neutral perspective, you really do belong there, and are a smart person. Failing your 11+ doesn't make you a failure or a disappointment. Everybody has at one stage or another failed something. Whether academically, or in other ways. And the weight of it will be especially heavy given those expectations, but you have to give yourself some credit. You are human, nobody is perfect and nobody gets 100% each time. It doesn't make you a failure, or stupid or a let down. These intense feelings of failure are down to the fact that you had far more pressure and expectations put on you than anybody should have. And that has a knock on effect with imposter syndrome if that makes sense.
When i joined university for example, everybody in my class appeared to be a tech whizz. And i had bare basic programming skills, and really didn't belong there. First hackathon, i was puzzled, and out of my depth, where as everybody else seemed to just get it. But i learnt at my own pace, worked my way through, and by the second and the third hackathon, i started to prove my place there. Imposter syndrome can be difficult, but try your best not to let it demoralise you. You wouldn't be given a place on that course if you weren't smart enough to do it. Remember that. It also turned out the half the other teams were getting external support (allowed for some reason), and it turns out all of the ones who "got it" were all equally as puzzled as i was. So that was good 😂.
And about your friend, it's truly painful hearing how much your two key support pillars are no longer there, and how it's difficult adjusting to that. Your maths teacher, in the most horrible way, and your friend due to different paths. I truly wish i had some advice to give you about ways to make things better, but i don't really have any advice to give on this. I won't sit here and patronise you by saying the usual, "oh you'll make friends eventually", and stuff like that, which i'm sure you've been told 1000 times before, because whilst it's true, it's no consolation right now. For what it's worth, you can always come on here to chat, but it's not the same as having somebody in person you can go and talk to, and be there for you.
And about the part about being overwhelmed with thoughts on max volume, as i've said, it 100% sounds like it could possibly be ADHD, i can't diagnose it, i'm not a professional, but again, try and do whatever you can to talk to a mental health practitioner and get checked for it if you are able to, because based on everything, it does sound a little like it. You're an incredibly smart person, but you struggle with being able to sit down and get work done, you struggle with attention span, and you struggle with overwhelming amounts of thoughts at once. And that is something that you deserve support with, which only a professional can give you.
@Cutelivejazz you aren't rambling on at all. What you're going through is extremely difficult and you deserve to be able to vent about it all somewhere and to have somebody listen.
I really wish i could offer you some advice about a way to get to a mental health practitioner or doctor, but there isn't much i can say. I just want to reassure you that the feeling of being overwhelmed, and also struggling to get work done isn't your fault. It's not being stupid, it's not laziness, it is likely a genuine condition that you need support with, but due to circumstances your not able to get currently. That isn't on you Jazz. It's important you understand that it's not on you.
And it makes complete sense. It's getting more and more overwhelming and becoming more and more of a struggle for you, which is probably making those moments of disconnect and emotional numbness worse and last longer. For me, emotional numbness was my brains automatic defence mechanism to protect me against things that happened to me. So it makes sense that it might have got worse for you as your situation has become more difficult, which is why it's becoming more severe and longer lasting. If that makes sense.
And it also makes total sense about it being at max volume and static at once. Sort of like mental overload. it's also sometimes called cognitive noise if you wanted a word for it.
Again, sorry if i've misinterpreted anything
@Cutelivejazz i really do appreciate that jazz, a huge amount. As i said, i might not be able to change your situation or anything like that for you, but i'm here if you ever need to vent about things to someone, or if you ever need advice about stuff.