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Struggling with Regret and Low Mood
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 5,546 Part of The Furniture
Today, we went out to a curry buffet place for an early, big meal, earlier than I would have liked, and I don’t really like the place anyway. I normally like this type of food, but not this place really. I only went because I didn’t know we were going there. When it was served, I started eating, but a few minutes in I got full and didn’t want to have more. I tried to explain that I was full, but family kept making comments, like saying I’d barely touched it. I just felt full and didn’t really want more food, and they kept commenting, so I had to just accept it. I ended up bringing the food home.
I’ve just been having a tough time with things lately and maybe found the recent few days even lower and darker. I struggle quite often, and I’ve been crying a couple of times recently, but some days and times are worse than others, and this is one of those periods. So my low mood might have been partly to do with it, but I don’t like the place anyway. I feel like I’ve brought this on myself and that it’s something I’ve done that’s put me behind. I also don’t really have anyone to talk to in terms of my struggles, so I was just there struggling inside and pressured to have food that I don’t like from a place I don’t like. I’ve just been pretending to be alright, but I’m not really.
I’ve also been reflecting on not taking a job, which was like a cleaner-type job. I didn’t take it because of the stigma, and I regretted it shortly after and have been regretting it ever since. I feel like I complain about not getting to where I want to be when this could have been a big start for me, and that’s why I’ve been struggling so much. I still don’t feel 100% in terms of my mood from today and feel down for not taking the job. I’ve been feeling guilty about it ever since.
I’ve just been having a tough time with things lately and maybe found the recent few days even lower and darker. I struggle quite often, and I’ve been crying a couple of times recently, but some days and times are worse than others, and this is one of those periods. So my low mood might have been partly to do with it, but I don’t like the place anyway. I feel like I’ve brought this on myself and that it’s something I’ve done that’s put me behind. I also don’t really have anyone to talk to in terms of my struggles, so I was just there struggling inside and pressured to have food that I don’t like from a place I don’t like. I’ve just been pretending to be alright, but I’m not really.
I’ve also been reflecting on not taking a job, which was like a cleaner-type job. I didn’t take it because of the stigma, and I regretted it shortly after and have been regretting it ever since. I feel like I complain about not getting to where I want to be when this could have been a big start for me, and that’s why I’ve been struggling so much. I still don’t feel 100% in terms of my mood from today and feel down for not taking the job. I’ve been feeling guilty about it ever since.
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Comments
How has sharing and opening up about how your feeling on here been? You deserve to feel as though you can be open and listened to.
I hear how recently you've been struggling more and you feel like you've brought this on yourself, please correct me if I have misunderstood your post.
Can I ask why you feel as though it is something you've done to put you behind?
I also hear how you felt pressured by your family to eat in a situation you didn't feel comfortable in when you were already full and that you felt you're family weren't listening to you. That sounds like it would have been quite intense. You mention later in your post how you feel like you can't explain you're struggles to them. Can I ask why you feel you can't explain you're struggles to those around you, have people close to you not been understanding?
Do you think in the future you may want to talk to someone or a professional about what you've been going through?
I also hear how you feel guilty for not taking the cleaner-type job, and that you feel you mainly didn't take the role because of the stigma associated with the job. Firstly it's completely ok to experience regret for making a certain decision, but I wonder if you could maybe more forgiving of yourself. Making that decision wasn't necessarily a mistake instead maybe it's something to learn from. For example, you are now aware that the stigma a job has impacts your judgement about whether to take a job and you now also know you don't want this to impact your decisions going forward. This means in the future you can check in with yourself, when making a decision about a job, and make sure a job's stigma isn't influencing such decision. Maybe this choice you made about the cleaning job is a situation you can use to your advantage.
@Blue_lily Thank you so much for this. Opening up here has been really great and I don’t feel judged, so I really appreciate having this space and will keep coming back for support. I feel like I didn’t take the job and fumbled what could have been an opportunity to change things for good, which makes me feel like it’s something I’ve done to put myself behind. I also might not feel people around me are understanding, which is why I rely on online services to share my struggles. I’ve had counselling online, which is finishing soon, but I might need to get it again in the future, and I really value having support while I work through these things. Really appreciate your reply, I hope you're well.