gertrude (my voice) is gone (TW - medication)

ok so i havent heard gertrude for a month now. the last thing she said was "the people at the college arent very happy you know" and that was the night after i had my enrollment day at the college. so it was on the same day as the enrollment day if that makes sense. im pretty sure shes gone. this is the longest time ive gone without hearing her i think. maybe ive gone without hearing her for longer but i didnt document it. however this time i have because i truly want this voice gone. she made my life a living hell in 2024 and made me believe things that werent real. the reason why im also documenting this is because i want my dosage of meds to be lowered significantly. im currently on 20 mg of aripiprazole (i take two 10mg tablets) and 10 mg of fluoxetine. my care coordinator said that my meds shouldnt be lowered until i go onto adult mental health services although i kind of want to prove him wrong and not have a single symptom of psychosis or depression (or as they call it, low mood) for six months. my psychiatrist said thats the amount of time i need to not have a single symptom before he can lower my meds because i said it correctly last time i had an appointment with him. to be honest with you my goal before being discharged from camhs is that i want to be at the very most at 15 mg of aripiprazole. preferably id want to be at 10 but given i have only 10 months of camhs left i think 15 mg is more appropriate. and in terms of fluoxetine i want to be off it completely since i searched it up and 10 mg is the lowest dosage. if gertrude ruins my plans by appearing again im gonna crash out...

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Comments

AnonymousToe

Can I ask why you want your meds lowered? Is it the side effects or something else?

toffuna101

AnonymousToe wrote: »

Can I ask why you want your meds lowered? Is it the side effects or something else?

that's a good question. I just want to be able to depend on them less if that makes sense.

Nathan

toffuna101 wrote: »

AnonymousToe wrote: »

Can I ask why you want your meds lowered? Is it the side effects or something else?

that's a good question. I just want to be able to depend on them less if that makes sense.

@toffuna101 First of all, i'm really glad that gertrude is gone. That must be an enormous relief for you, and must be making things 1000 times better. And it does make perfect sense about wanting to not be dependent on medication and to hold onto as much autonomy over your mental health as is safe, but it's important that to stick with whatever your psychiatrist tells you which it seems like your doing and ease down at their pace.

You've done amazingly to overcome this all toffuna so well done.

toffuna101

DonnerKebab wrote: »

toffuna101 wrote: »

AnonymousToe wrote: »

Can I ask why you want your meds lowered? Is it the side effects or something else?

that's a good question. I just want to be able to depend on them less if that makes sense.

@toffuna101 First of all, i'm really glad that gertrude is gone. That must be an enormous relief for you, and must be making things 1000 times better. And it does make perfect sense about wanting to not be dependent on medication and to hold onto as much autonomy over your mental health as is safe, but it's important that to stick with whatever your psychiatrist tells you which it seems like your doing and ease down at their pace.

You've done amazingly to overcome this all toffuna so well done.

thanks. i will stick to what my psychiatrist says just to be safe.