(Suicidal thoughts, no plans) I fucking hate having panic attacks at work

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Anxiety, OCD and Phobias

suicidal feelings

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Sian321

Hey @bignosegirly0 , thank you for this post and for sharing a bit more about what's been going on for you.

It sounds extremely hard not being able to access the support and care you're wanting right now, and being shut down by your family when you do try to talk about getting some medication support for your mental health. I hear how that might leave you feeling stuck or isolated - is that correct?

Panic attacks can be incredibly intense and frightening at times, and you're not a 'jackass' for feeling this way. What you're going through is so valid. Can I ask, when you experience a panic attack, what does that usually feel like in your body? Do you notice any specific thoughts that cross your mind in those moments? I can imagine it might be extremely overwhelming when you're trying all you can to calm yourself and feel safe again through mindfulness techniques, but it doesn't seem to work. We're here to listen, and we're sending you so much care.

You mentioned that it feels sometimes like god wants you to kill yourself - as though you're being taunted by a cruel higher power. That sounds so distressing, and I really hear just how relentless and tormenting these panic attacks can feel.

May I ask, am I right in hearing that you have spoken with a GP already about getting some medication for your panic attacks? Or did you say that you haven't been able to get to your GP?

I'll leave some resources below which may be able to help, and thank you so much again for opening up here.

https://nopanic.org.uk/
https://giveusashout.org/
https://clearfear.stem4.org.uk/

eylah

sending you hugs @bignosegirly0 . you matter

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