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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 08.09.25
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Comments
@eylah I know this probably won't mean a lot, but your such a strong kind soul. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but i want you to know, i'll be on here all day on the 23rd if you ever want to talk or vent about how you're feeling, or just so you have somebody to chat to. You're an incredible person, and you've handled all of this pain with such strength and still remained as kind as ever. You really are incredible, and i want you to know that. I think your mum would be so incredibly proud of just how much of a kind soul you are.
And i'm really sorry the weather and thunder is scary. My grandma when she was with us told me that my great aunt lucy used to be afraid of it a lot, so what she would do is she would put ear defenders on and a eye mask thingy, which blocked out the sound and flashing of the thunder, which worked for her. This might not work for everyone, but if your comfortable with it, it might be worth a small try.
btw, you're my 2000th post eylah
@Cutelivejazz hey jazz, sorry it's been a few days. It's definitely worth talking to your pastoral teacher again, or just directly to the RE teacher if you feel able to, just to remind them of it. With any luck, it's a one time forgetfulness thing from the RE teacher. And no problem. You deserve someone listening to you vent about these things and to get advice for it, even if it's not the best advice.
@Redemption sorry i never responded to this sooner. I just wanted to say to you bro a pretty old quote from Churchill. "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm". Right now redemption, you have suffered repeated failures, a huge amount of which are not of your own doing, but rather because of the catastrophic state of the economy and jobs market, and yet here you are today bro, still trying, still applying to jobs, and refusing to give in. That takes strength, perseverance, and an indomitable spirit. It's okay to fear failure, but the most important thing to know is that despite that fear, you tried anyway, and gave it your all. Whilst you keep going, and refuse to give up, you aren't a failure, you're showing more spirit than most others do, and that's something you should be proud of. You aren't a failure at all. You might not be where you thought you would be in life at this stage, and that's okay. You're still young, and you still have a huge amount of time to build. That isn't failure at all. Failure would be not trying.
You've already started being given interviews, which is a good step forward, eventually, your breakthrough will come in time. It's just keeping going until then mate, and we are with you every step of the way.
@Cutelivejazz I'm here if you want to chat jazz
Basically she texted me saying we need to talk and when we were at the school gate she said I was too negative and that I was venting too much and if I really need someone to talk to that bad that I should talk to a therapist (i was telling her abt her friend and I was just whining abt one of the teachers its not like i was telling her all my trauma) and she also said are personalities aren't rly a good match cus I care abt school and she said she doesn't she's annoyed bc I dont mess around with her during study periods I actually study and idk it was just rly hurtful but im glad she told me tho. Sry if some of it doesn't make sense I had to change for anonymity purposes. I rly dont wanna go to school today I just wanna stay at home and sleep and curl up and cry and eat snacks but that unfortunately isn't an option bc I have to be a functioning human being yay. Im gonna fcking kms. But yeah im fine totally dont wanna punch a punching until my knuckles bleed (surprisingly cathartic). Im fine ive delt with worse and I know i have to be stubborn and get thru this bc I cant stop to rest but its fine. Can't wait until A levels are over so I can get out of this hell hole. So now during breaks lunches and study periods im alone and idk that might be a good thing and everyone keeps telling me it's an opportunity to focus on my work but what do I do when I need support who do I go to? My non existent friends? My bestie that cant rly do anything bc we rarely can see eachother? My teachers who dont understand? The pastoral staff who are alright but incompetent are kinda terrifying? Like what do I do? Everyone's like oh your not alone there are people you can talk to but there aren't. The country is in a mental health crisis mental health websites and companies are so overloaded and im just another weight and a another burden to the system. Sometimes i feel like just a number to them just another patient to talk to and get over with. I was asked if I wanted to do counselling and realised it was my old counsellor she was awful I hated it literally begged the school to let me stop it (bc it was in school counselling) but they kept forcing me to go into eventually wore them down and they let me stop the sessions which was fucking traumatic (idk if im allowed to say that was traumatising sorry if im not). I also keep getting told to stop constantly apologising cus it makes me seem weak. I cant help it tho like im the kind of person who flinches if anyone raises their voice so if I feel like someone's mad at me I get really really scared and keep apologising in the hope that maybe they'll get less mad and I genuinely cant explain the panic and fear I experience when I think someone's mad at me especially if im already overwhelmed. But im fine everything all perfect and amazing (im being sarcastic if you cant tell). Anway sorry fir the huge rant im just rapidly losing the fucking will to live.