If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
Dating a much smaller man
MaxB
Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
Hi I'm not sure about how to start.
I've been dating this guy and he is 4ft 9. I'm 5ft 5. I normally have no issues dating people shorter than me but he is a lot shorter and generally smaller. I feel enormous next to him. I know this is not about his height or size, it's about my insecurities. I just don't know how to get over it.
I've been dating this guy and he is 4ft 9. I'm 5ft 5. I normally have no issues dating people shorter than me but he is a lot shorter and generally smaller. I feel enormous next to him. I know this is not about his height or size, it's about my insecurities. I just don't know how to get over it.
2
Comments
It sounds like you could be worries about what others might think when they see you next to him, and that they may think you are 'enormous'! One thing I was always told is that even if something feels like a huge deal to you, most people day-to-day wont even notice, and if they do then they will forget very soon after seeing it because they're all too wrapped up in themselves
I think a majority of couples have some sort of height difference! I can understand where these worries could come from though, it doesnt always feel nice to stand out or like someone can single out something about you, especially something which can't be changed like your height
I wonder if you would generally say you feel insecure within yourself?
Thank you for reaching out, the Community are here for you and we're hearing you!
Also it's not really the height (or rather not just the height) difference that's bothering me, it's the overall size. I genuinely am double the size of him.
Hey @MaxB your feelings are valid with this and it's ok to vent about this. Like Leyla says, most people wont notice, wont even give a 2nd look at you and even if there is the odd person that does notice which there probably isn't any really, if there somehow was, it doesn't matter what they or anyone thinks. What matters is you love each other and you're happy in your relationship overall , your feelings are completely valid too.
I DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
The issue I have is my own insecurity around being larger than him, not what other people think. I appreciate anyone trying to help but if you are going to respond please actually read my message first.
Thank you.
I can understand this as my partner, who I’ve been with for 7 years, is both shorter and smaller than me. It goes against all the stereotypes but, just to reassure you, it can and does work out. I think he feels more insecure than I do about it, especially when I choose to wear heels (which tbf I don’t often as I’m a giant as it is lol)
Do you feel quite insecure in yourself in general? You say it’s not about what other people think and that makes sense, it’s about how you’re feeling about it. I’m just wondering if you feel like that in other areas too?
I know for me lack of confidence is a big issue, and I’m working on that, so I can’t really give any advice. But I know where you’re coming from