Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 04.08

Redemption · August 6

Animalloverb wrote: »

@Redemption

I understand what your saying.

It's normal to have setbacks, I have had them myself many times. Everyone experiences setbacks, it is actually part of the journey of things getting better.
And things failing too,it's all part of the process, that's why it is called a journey.

Your welcome. I did say I will always try and support you where and when I can.

I really appreciate it, @Animalloverb I just got to keep going and hopefully it will come soon. It will happen but just a matter if when, its really hard not knowing and everything

River · August 6

@Katie yeah I’m safe just fed up and Charlie needs surgery and shit ain’t going well

Katie · August 6

So sorry to hear Charlie needs surgery @River is he okay?

Thank you for letting us know you're safe too. I'm hearing you're feeling fed up recently and like things aren't going right. Do you feel comfortable sharing what else has been going on for you River?

River · August 6

Hey has done is other crucip ligament in his foot so he has an xray on Friday to decide when surgery is but we have bought him a pram so he doesn’t have to stay home when Barney is going on a walk

In terms of other things I just give up with recovery I’m never going to get better, the doctors had the mdt meeting yesterday and they have decided a stupid lifestyle course will help me 💀 so let’s obviously just ignore the CPTSD, BPD, autism, adhd and DID and insomnia because apparently a lifestyle course is gonna do so much. So I hope you understand my frustration in the doctors not giving a shit. I have an appointment on the 11th the monthly ones I have because of course that’s the only help I need apparently

but I’m so tempted to cancel that appointment and just give up. I fucking tried to engage in getting support and I did a fucking good job but nah they give up on me like every professional. I’ll be dead before I reach 20 without a doubt because if professional don’t care then why the fuck should I

I’m sorry

@Katie

Katie · August 6

River wrote: »

Hey has done is other crucip ligament in his foot so he has an xray on Friday to decide when surgery is but we have bought him a pram so he doesn’t have to stay home when Barney is going on a walk

In terms of other things I just give up with recovery I’m never going to get better, the doctors had the mdt meeting yesterday and they have decided a stupid lifestyle course will help me 💀 so let’s obviously just ignore the CPTSD, BPD, autism, adhd and DID and insomnia because apparently a lifestyle course is gonna do so much. So I hope you understand my frustration in the doctors not giving a shit. I have an appointment on the 11th the monthly ones I have because of course that’s the only help I need apparently but I’m so tempted to cancel that appointment and just give up. I fucking tried to engage in getting support and I did a fucking good job but nah they give up on me like every professional. I’ll be dead before I reach 20 without a doubt because if professional don’t care then why the fuck should I

I’m sorry @Katie

Aww poor boy! I hope he has a speedy recovery @River and gets all the love he deserves.

It sounds really frustrating that despite you reaching out for support, you're being let down by the doctors. You're right that you did an incredible job engaging in getting support because it isn't easy admitting to ourselves when we need help. What kind of lifestyle course did they suggest?

Did they say anything about the CPTSD, BPS, Autism, ADHD, DID or Insomnia? It's definitely understandable feeling frustrated that they're not listening or giving you the support you deserve. You also don't need to apologise River. How you're feeling is so valid and you deserve a space to talk about it. We're right here with you

River · August 6

This is what they put on my file from the meeting

I just don’t have the energy to try anymore, if I end up keeping the appointment I’m just gonna tell them I’m fine because what they gonna do at the end of the day. I actually thought I was getting somewhere but nah I’m not fixable

eylah · August 6

just talked to beat and they weren’t fuck8g helpful

. just wanted advice on what to do.

Redemption · August 7

eylah wrote: »

just talked to beat and they weren’t fuck8g helpful . just wanted advice on what to do.

We are here @eylah Im sorry they weren't helpful

eylah · August 7

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

Redemption · August 7

eylah wrote: »

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

I agree @eylah its ok to prioritise yourself ❤️

Katie · August 7

River wrote: »

This is what they put on my file from the meeting

I just don’t have the energy to try anymore, if I end up keeping the appointment I’m just gonna tell them I’m fine because what they gonna do at the end of the day. I actually thought I was getting somewhere but nah I’m not fixable

I'm hearing how frustrating this is for you @River to maybe not feel listened to when you've tried to be honest with them about how you're feeling and engaging in trying to get support. I think it's really valid to have that sense of "what's the point of going to these appointments if they keep letting me down?". It's entirely up to you whether you go to your next appointment, but you do deserve support and you're doing really well to keep reaching out for it despite sadly not always being listened to. Have you decided if you're going to go? I also wonder if there are any other support options you've tried other than your doctors if you feel comfortable sharing?

I'm also hearing that maybe you feel like you need to be fixed and I'm wondering if this is because you feel like you're broken or different to everyone else? It sounds to me that rather than being fixed, you just need and deserve to be seen, feel heard, and given the tools to support yourself. How does this sound River?

Katie · August 7

eylah wrote: »

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

Hey @eylah how are you doing today? It sounds like you care a lot about your friend and you did really well to help them get the support they need.

You're also right that you're not their therapist, and it's okay to set boundaries. Being there as a friend is one thing. But there's a reason why dedicated crisis services require a lot of training and supervision to work on: it's difficult and requires a lot of support to do long-term.

We have a post about how you can set boundaries with a friend and there's a specific section of it which may feel helpful for you. I'll pop it down below

If your friend is at breaking point, here's what you can do (click the spoiler):
What you can do now for the person in crisis

So when someone is currently in crisis, the first thing we recommend is urging them to contact crisis services themselves - Samaritans, Papyrus, Shout, 999 or A&E.

If they don't want to, that's okay. It's not your responsibility to keep them safe, and sometimes the best thing is to allow someone to make their own decision. People tend to be more capable than we give them credit for, even in crisis, and it's okay to give them and you some space.

Another option is to contact 999 for your friend yourself. We would only recommend this if you think they are in immediate danger and need emergency services to intervene directly.

Keeping you safe

Your wellbeing and emotional safety is important too, which means getting the support you need.

You can contact crisis services to ask for help supporting someone else, and they'll happily chat to you.

If you feel you've reached the end of what you can do, it's okay to say that and set some boundaries for now. That might mean saying something like "I care about you, and I feel that I've done what I can as your friend right now, so I'm going to take a step back from this conversation"

A more substantial boundary-setting conversation might be needed afterwards, but saying this should give you the space you need to step away in the now.

Redemption · August 7

eylah wrote: »

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

Also @eylah I hope I don't come across like this, maybe a bit too much treating you like you're a therapist, I know I vent a bit to you so hope uts not too much for you

eylah · August 7

Redemption wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

Also @eylah I hope I don't come across like this, maybe a bit too much treating you like you're a therapist, I know I vent a bit to you so hope uts not too much for you

im fine with you venting to me and needing support. it’s tiring to support my other friend bc its constant and i dont get a break from it nor does she appreciate everything im doing for her. it seems like no matter what i do its not gd enough. im fine with supporting you guys bc you appreciate everything i do for you all.

eylah · August 7

Katie wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

Hey @eylah how are you doing today? It sounds like you care a lot about your friend and you did really well to help them get the support they need.

You're also right that you're not their therapist, and it's okay to set boundaries. Being there as a friend is one thing. But there's a reason why dedicated crisis services require a lot of training and supervision to work on: it's difficult and requires a lot of support to do long-term.

We have a post about how you can set boundaries with a friend and there's a specific section of it which may feel helpful for you. I'll pop it down below

If your friend is at breaking point, here's what you can do (click the spoiler):
What you can do now for the person in crisis

So when someone is currently in crisis, the first thing we recommend is urging them to contact crisis services themselves - Samaritans, Papyrus, Shout, 999 or A&E.

If they don't want to, that's okay. It's not your responsibility to keep them safe, and sometimes the best thing is to allow someone to make their own decision. People tend to be more capable than we give them credit for, even in crisis, and it's okay to give them and you some space.

Another option is to contact 999 for your friend yourself. We would only recommend this if you think they are in immediate danger and need emergency services to intervene directly.

Keeping you safe

Your wellbeing and emotional safety is important too, which means getting the support you need.

You can contact crisis services to ask for help supporting someone else, and they'll happily chat to you.

If you feel you've reached the end of what you can do, it's okay to say that and set some boundaries for now. That might mean saying something like "I care about you, and I feel that I've done what I can as your friend right now, so I'm going to take a step back from this conversation"

A more substantial boundary-setting conversation might be needed afterwards, but saying this should give you the space you need to step away in the now.

thankyou katie i appreciate this. it’s hard to set boundaries with this girl bc if i take a step back or if i don’t support her things would go sour pretty quickly and it’s rly hard circumstances so i can’t set boundaries. thankyou though it’s just rly complicated.

Chloe234 · August 7

I guess even tho I've left i just needed to put this somewhere and I didnt want a massive thing or a massive post etc so here it is i guess...two cancer/loss

I found out last night that my Oma (i call her that as its grandma in german and she lives in germany) has cancer. They found 3 tumors on her brain and 2 on her lungs and they're inoperable. Shes really not well and its stage 3 but progressing rapidly so basically she doesnt have long left at all. Its just hard because like although she lives in germany and ive not seen her for years it still just makes my heart ache because all the memories are coming up that we did make with her in germany and like we arent going to get to see her to say goodbye nor go to her funerala once she passes and i dont know. I guess its also bringing up things like how much loss I've had since 2022. It feels like once I lost my stepmom its just never stopped. My stepmom, cat, nan, friend, other cat, aunt, Nora (dog) and now it's going to be my Oma. Like im still not over losing Nora. It's just not stopping

My sister is also blaming me about my oma having cancer saying that I jinxed it and manifested it all because I had camhs yesterday morning and i said id spoken about how we have had too much loss and rhat i didnt want anymore and like even tho i know it physically cant be my fault it still hurts coming from my sister

Redemption · August 8

eylah wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.

Also @eylah I hope I don't come across like this, maybe a bit too much treating you like you're a therapist, I know I vent a bit to you so hope uts not too much for you

im fine with you venting to me and needing support. it’s tiring to support my other friend bc its constant and i dont get a break from it nor does she appreciate everything im doing for her. it seems like no matter what i do its not gd enough. im fine with supporting you guys bc you appreciate everything i do for you all.

Sorry for the late reply @eylah I definitely appreciate your support and Im sure everyone here does it important people we supporting appreciate it. I and all of us are here for you too, thats also important helping each other both ways. Anyway I hope you're ok today ♥️

Animalloverb · August 8

I'm feeling so awful right now.

Sian321 · August 9

@Chloe234, thank you so much for sharing this. How are you this morning? I wanted to check in. I'm so sorry to hear the news about your Oma's health, and I really hear what you're saying about just how much loss and grief you've had to contend with lately. It's felt relentless, and I can imagine that might leave your heart feeling wrung out over and over. On top of that, to feel as though you somehow must have 'jinxed' your Oma's situation (because your sister suggested this) sounds like such an awful lot of pressure and guilt. I appreciate it's so hard to take in when we're carrying self-blame, but truly, I hear how your Oma getting sick is the very last thing on Earth you would have ever manifested. It sounds like its been a really, really difficult time, and you are very much allowed to open up to the CAMHS team and seek that help.

What would you say are the main feelings you're sitting with right now?

And how have you been looking after yourself?

We're here for you, Chloe.

Sian321 · August 9

Hey @Animalloverb , thank you for your message. It sounds like things might be extremely tough right now. What's that 'awful' made up of at the moment, if you feel safe sharing? We're here and want to listen.

Sian321 · August 9

@eylah , how are you doing today? Sounds like its been such a draining situation with your friend, and its felt totally thankless, giving and giving and wringing yourself out dry to try and help her and keep her safe and yet, it keeps feeling as though the danger to her life never lifts. You're doing so well to talk about this here and to put these feelings into words.

Animalloverb · August 9

@Sian321
It's just because someone is around right now who reminds me of my abuser. And other stuff too that I am not feeling comfortable enough to share right now.

Sian321 · August 9

That does sound like it might feel really triggering @Animalloverb . I wonder what kind of feelings that brings up for you?

Thank you for letting us know too there are certain things you don't feel comfy to share right now. I fully respect that, and am glad you feel safe to say that.

Animalloverb · August 9

@Sian321
It is causing all sorts of feelings that I really don't need to be having right now, especially when I can’t go to the gym.
It is causing me to have more flashbacks and my PTSD is getting triggered more.

Sian321 · August 9

I hear you, and I can imagine that feeling really frightening and dysregulating, as though the past is blurring with the present. When you experience flashbacks, has there ever been anything that helps to ground you, even just 5%? Or something which helps you even a little to be able to signal to your body - 'that was then, this is now. I am safe now'?

Animalloverb · August 9

The only thing that really helps to ground me is the gym, nothing else seems to work. It's hard for a lot of things to work as I am visually impaired so i can't really do the normal techniques which is why the gym is such an important thing in my life.

Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 04.08

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