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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 04.08

This is a space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here.
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Comments
I'm so sorry about that. That must be really hard. It's okay that it all feels overwhelming. These kind of things are already overwhelming and even more so when you don't have anyone to talk to.
I am here for you if you feel like you want to talk at all.
thankyou i donโt want to bother you with my crap though. thankyou
@Animalloverb im comfortable talking with you i just feel like everything that im feeling atm is rly draining for someone who js listening to me. but rly appreciate you.
itโs just tiring living life how i am without anyone support. i feel so isolated and so alone i just want my mum back but it just days like this itโs rly tricky for me.
Hey don't worry I understand, I have been there many times. But trust me anything that your wanting to talk about I am willing to listen it will not drain me at all.
I'm very sorry Eylah, it can be really hard getting through each day with no support and I am so sorry you haven't got the support that your deserve, that isn't fair at all.
It's understandable that you feel that way, loosing someone is hard, especially when it was a family member like your mum. I understand that some days feel so much harder for you. No matter how long ago someone close to you passed away you always get days where the pain really hits. I still get those days Eylah, so your not alone in this.
thankyou bea
.
i just find it hard atm going day by day bc i am all alone in my flat and i have 0 support. i want to reach out to ppl and try get support but i feel like im just bothering ppl by talking abt the same shit all the time. it just is hurting me so much atm and im of course waiting for my drs appt but that probably be no help. it just sucks ๐
for real I agree with your point with the doctors, they do suck most of the time, and that's based of my own personal experience, they are never much help. But I do hope your upcoming Dr appointment gives you some guidance or at least gives you something helpful.
I get that, but you are not bothering me, even if you want to spend weeks talking about the same thing I really don't mind, I will always be here for you Eylah. Things sure are a lot harder when your alone. I have been alone for a long time too so I get what your saying.
Take care Eylah, I'm here for you always.
Massive hugs @eylah she'll be super proud of you the incredible young lady you are โค๏ธ
@eylah for what it's worth, you don't bother anybody on here. Just talking with you is awesome and makes my day, and i'm proud to call you my favourite twat in the entire world
And I know the feeling of loneliness is crushing right now, and i know digital friends aren't the same as real life ones in person, but you aren't alone, we're always here for you friend, sending you a virtual hug
thankyou bea im sry for not replying until now i had a rly tricky night and i was struggling badly but didnโt want to bother anyone so i was by myself. ( sry for saying im bothering yโall again ). had a cry with my mum luckily she is in my room with me so i can cry with her. ( iykyk) donโt want to say just in case itโs against guidelines.
this made me teary. i rly needed to hear this thankyou very much redemption.
youโre just the best @DonnerKebab . your words always mean the world to me and they always will. you rly are a sweet person and i am so glad i can call you my friend. your words touch my heart and they make a impact you rly are my favourite twat in the whole world.
having you guys on here at the mix mean the world to me. i have noone irl so having you guys on here means the world to me. you guys are my biggest fans and i canโt appreciate you enough. thankyou everyone.
sending you guys back i know youโre going though a rly difficult time atm so im sending you my biggest hugs i can physically give you.
hey @Redemption . just wanted to say itโs okay to make mistakes. youโre only human and itโs okay. you shouldnโt beat yourself up abt missing an appt bc itโs a mistake everyone makes and itโs okay. you got this
Im glad you liked what I said, making me teary how much I helped you
@eylah thank you, its like here, I hope here Im posting on the wrong thread, this is for triggering stuff.
youโre not posting on the wrong thread. you post here when youโre struggling with anything. it doesnโt have to be just abt triggering stuff. you can open up here we all care abt you
Thank you @eylah , we all care about you too, I'm just getting them "I'll never get a job" thoughts. I feel like a let down.
My mum keeps guilt tripping me into making me feel bad about not being at home.
My sister keeps interfering with whats been happening and is trying to make it about herself saying shes embarrassed that the police turned up at work (no one was there apart from our night warden)
I feel anxious and nervous because I allowed my boyfriend to tell our assistant general manager (AGM) everything that happened on saturday but now im scared that our AGM is going to tell our general manager (GM). My boyfriend is just thinking its so I can get more support but I dont want any one else to know. I have spoke to my AGM and just said everything is fone and im thriving.
Is it bad that im trying my hardest not to be at home?
Is it bad that im still having all those thoughts and want to try again but not have anyone know?
I just dont know what i do anymore
My head is fuzzy
My body hurts
I feel icky and sick
Its all my fault and just have to live with the consequences of my actions
Dreading a potential phone call from my GP about what happened or for the mental health team to phone or for the police to do a follow up.
There is just alot in the unknown and I dont like it
Causing alot of overthinking and bad thoights
I'm so sorry to hear that @eylah I can imagine how incredibly hard that must be for you right now. I want to say it's totally okay to feel upset and grief too because it's natural to feel this way when we lose someone close to us. I don't know if this may help but could you potentially make a memory box filled of memories of her?.it could be poetry in there, photos even,.maybe artwork that reminds you of her. So when you do feel like you miss her you could have a box to remember her by
You're doing really well talking about this @Lottie5433
It's okay, don't worry. And I'm sorry you felt like you were going to bother us if you spoke up. I hope your okay
โจ ๐ฏโโ๐ฎ โ๐ฎ โณโฐ โจ
I'm glad your safe, it's totally okay to have those thoughts and it's natural to get them.
It must be really hard having the thoughts that you may never get a job as when that's in your mind you may also get thoughts of being a failure which is awful. But honestly, you will get a job. As I say the journey there is so different for everyone and can take longer for some people than others. But you will get there.
I get what your saying when you say you think about what if certain things don't get better, that's must be tough for you. There is times where things feel like they won't ever get better, especially if it has been going on for a long time. But things change, they get better. Sometimes it can take years but they always get better.
And your having the feelings of doubt, that's awful to hear. I know your strong okay, and things will change for you.
And I'm sorry that your having to go through these thoughts alone. That is so not fair.
Thank you @Animalloverb , its just it going on for so long and trying to move forward but things failing, setbacks etc, its felt like every time I try to move forward something happens to drag me back. Hopefully the thing I do goes well. I'm not completely alone, I just mean in person I don't have anyone I feel like I can talk to but I have good support in terms of I have here which is amazing and like other support services. I get alone during the day though because not many services are open.
I understand what your saying.
It's normal to have setbacks, I have had them myself many times. Everyone experiences setbacks, it is actually part of the journey of things getting better.
And things failing too,it's all part of the process, that's why it is called a journey.
Your welcome. I did say I will always try and support you where and when I can.
And do you feel comfortable sharing why you're feeling like this? We're here for you River and will support you with whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.