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(Mentions of sexual abuse) seeking for male approval isnt worth it

bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 365 Listening Ear
in Health & Wellbeing
Often I feel down about not meeting up to men’s beauty standards and gaining their approval. But then I remember a girl who’s flirty and touching with all of her male coworkers, defending Andrew Tate, a man who’s know for sex trafficking women and teenage girls.

Maybe being a pick me isn’t worth it lol
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Comments

  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 2,132 Boards Champion
    I think as long as we can find some sort of happiness for ourselves in our appearances, it shouldn't matter who's beauty standards we do and don't meet. I know how easy it can be to fall into the thought process of "Oh i wish i looked like this instead" but at the end of the day, we are all meant to be different, and the right people will love and appreciate our personal beauty exactly as we are <3
  • nemnem Posts: 410 Listening Ear
    I’m obsess with men/male gaze…. :///
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 365 Listening Ear
    @nem im not gonna judge cuz me too lol. It’s genuinely draining having to feel like we have to constantly perform for a male audience. I hate how us women are taught that we only have worth when we appeal to men, when we should freely be our own people. Hope you are okay 🫶
  • nemnem Posts: 410 Listening Ear
    It’s hardddd…. Cus like I do like men but yeah u also need a sense of self…. lol
    I’m ok ish
    Lol
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 365 Listening Ear
    @nem i get ya. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I wish you the best 🫂
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,531 Boards Guru
    Hey @nem , thank you for your message. You're doing really well to talk about this, and it sounds like you and @bignosegirly0 relate to each other a little bit on this topic.

    What's that been like for you to obsess with the male gaze? I wonder whether this has always been the case, or if there were any moments / any years of your life where that suddenly got more intense?

    We're all here for you!
  • nemnem Posts: 410 Listening Ear
    Been good
  • nemnem Posts: 410 Listening Ear
    Good when it’s good
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 365 Listening Ear
    edited July 20
    @Sian321 it’s fucking depressing. If we didn’t live in a world with misogyny where I feel like I can either be a sex object or nothing, I wouldn’t be so suicidal and depressed all the time. All my life, I’ve been mistreated by boys and men for not looking like a pornstar, god forbid 🙄

    As I get older and meet more men who treat me unfairly, I'm scared nothing will ever change.
    Post edited by Sian321 on
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,531 Boards Guru
    Hey @bignosegirly0 , just to say we have made some edits to your post here as some of your language was sexist and fell outside of our Guidelines.

    We hear the deep hurt and pain underneath your words, however, please refrain from using discriminatory language.
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