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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? W/C 07.07.25

13

Comments

  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    I’m not gonna be able to tell the staff :( I’m so ashamed, they may still have to risk safety even tho it’s sorted but idk I’m so scared, literally set my alarm for 9:30 so I’m awake before the mix is online just incase because I don’t trust that it won’t be reported
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,612 Extreme Poster
    edited July 9
    @River Don't be ashamed, you've done nothing wrong. Look, you've got proof that whatever the situation is, is known to authorities, you have proof it's been reported to a proper avenue, crime stoppers. If Crime stoppers think there's a danger, they will act instantly, if not, they will deal with it as they deal with crime normally.
    Post edited by DonnerKebab on
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    It was hard enough showing Anna and I trust her with my life, I feel disgusting like how did I not know that it was wrong :( I’m a filthy disgusting freak :( I hate myself so much
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,612 Extreme Poster
    edited July 9
    @River I don't know what exactly happened, or what the situation is, but you are not guilty of anything. You are not a filthy disgusting freak, I promise. Whatever it is, authorities have been informed by you, and authorities know the situation. And whatever it is, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

    People miss things, there are signs that don't get spotted all the time. Heck, when my uncle took me out and ended up selling me at age 4, he was 2 months out the nut house and had more red flags than the red army had in WW2, off his meds and shaking for a drink. And that was missed by my mum and my gran. People miss things, which is why having people like Anna to double check stuff sounds like a good idea in future for you. I'm glad you've been able to get things off your chest to her, and I'm glad you've got support from her and authorities are sorting things.

    But you are not a filthy disgusting freak, you are the same kind hearted person you've always been River.
    Post edited by DonnerKebab on
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    edited July 9
    Deleted
    Post edited by River on
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    edited July 9
    @Redemption I play Xbox, just playing the older COD's. I've got all of them from COD 4 - Black Ops 6. Bo2, Bo3 zombies, Infinite Warfare, Advanced Warfare, Cod 4 remastered and World at War are my favourites so i tend to go back to them a lot rather than play this modern Bo6 crap.

    And yeah, once that happens though, then it's just deciding what then. Do I let it go and move on, or pursue it?

    @DonnerKebab sounds good, Im not that into many games, I just play GTA the odd time.


    I'd say just let it go after its done with. Sorry for the late reply bro, you ok today?
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    Something inside of me is broken and can never be fixed and maybe just maybe all i have to do is believe that things wont get better because I’m tired of running in circles (metaphorically). When people come into my life they don’t know me then they get to know me and they just leave. I wish I could crawl into hiding and not have to talk or say anything because how do I explain that I want to leave or that I’m sorry I’m difficult, I’m sorry I’m not the person people think I am. When was the last time I was actually happy?…I don’t know
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,612 Extreme Poster
    Redemption wrote: »
    @Redemption I play Xbox, just playing the older COD's. I've got all of them from COD 4 - Black Ops 6. Bo2, Bo3 zombies, Infinite Warfare, Advanced Warfare, Cod 4 remastered and World at War are my favourites so i tend to go back to them a lot rather than play this modern Bo6 crap.

    And yeah, once that happens though, then it's just deciding what then. Do I let it go and move on, or pursue it?

    @DonnerKebab sounds good, Im not that into many games, I just play GTA the odd time.


    I'd say just let it go after its done with. Sorry for the late reply bro, you ok today?

    @Redemption i get the point, and i contemplated leaving it, letting the investigation just happen, and then moving on, because i genuinely hate conflict, but then there's a huge part of me that is enraged by what's happened, the insulting nature of it, the attempt on my future and reputation, and the desire to stop this from happening to others and disgust at other conduct. I'm speaking to an MP, I'm speaking to free speech union, i'm just waiting to withdraw money from my cash ISA i was saving for my masters (i can save up again) for legal representation now, and plan to legally have this one out. it's about others down the line too as well as me and getting a public apology. So, I'm gonna take it down every single path I legally can, down every lawful avenue and I'm mixed currently on a public name and shame of the situation.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    hey everyone <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    eylah wrote: »
    hey everyone <3

    Hey @eylah how's you?
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    Redemption wrote: »
    @Redemption I play Xbox, just playing the older COD's. I've got all of them from COD 4 - Black Ops 6. Bo2, Bo3 zombies, Infinite Warfare, Advanced Warfare, Cod 4 remastered and World at War are my favourites so i tend to go back to them a lot rather than play this modern Bo6 crap.

    And yeah, once that happens though, then it's just deciding what then. Do I let it go and move on, or pursue it?

    @DonnerKebab sounds good, Im not that into many games, I just play GTA the odd time.


    I'd say just let it go after its done with. Sorry for the late reply bro, you ok today?

    @Redemption i get the point, and i contemplated leaving it, letting the investigation just happen, and then moving on, because i genuinely hate conflict, but then there's a huge part of me that is enraged by what's happened, the insulting nature of it, the attempt on my future and reputation, and the desire to stop this from happening to others and disgust at other conduct. I'm speaking to an MP, I'm speaking to free speech union, i'm just waiting to withdraw money from my cash ISA i was saving for my masters (i can save up again) for legal representation now, and plan to legally have this one out. it's about others down the line too as well as me and getting a public apology. So, I'm gonna take it down every single path I legally can, down every lawful avenue and I'm mixed currently on a public name and shame of the situation.

    @DonnerKebab I understand, I hate conflict too but you have to stand your ground and clear your name, not let anything damage your name or your future etc.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,927 Extreme Poster
    Hey @River , thank you for sharing your feelings here. I hear you saying just how badly you want to hide right now - as though you'd like the Earth to swallow you up, perhaps. And it's so hard feeling that people have these false expectations about who you are. When you spoke about this, was there someone in particular you were thinking about, or maybe more of a general pattern?

    It sounds like things might be especially hard right now emotionally - I'm hearing quite a lot of self-blame and criticism in what you're writing, and that can feel heavy. We're here without judgement. And you're doing so well to share this.

    What might feel like kindness today? What kind of activities or actions might help you feel cared for? It's also okay not to have the answers. One day at a time.

    Popping some resources here too if you'd like some further space to talk things through:


  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    edited July 9
    @Sian321 they were lines from a tv show that I sobbed watching for 3 hours because I related to it 😭

    So don’t watch bojack unless you want hard hitting thoughts 🥲
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,612 Extreme Poster
    River wrote: »
    Something inside of me is broken and can never be fixed and maybe just maybe all i have to do is believe that things wont get better because I’m tired of running in circles (metaphorically). When people come into my life they don’t know me then they get to know me and they just leave. I wish I could crawl into hiding and not have to talk or say anything because how do I explain that I want to leave or that I’m sorry I’m difficult, I’m sorry I’m not the person people think I am. When was the last time I was actually happy?…I don’t know

    @River I know how hard things are for you right now, and i wish i had the words to make things better, but you aren't broken and unfixable river. You're still the same kind hearted person you've always been, despite all the hell you've endured. That isn't brokenness. That's strength.

    Feeling trauma's effects does have a way of making us broken, it's true, and it does have a way of changing us, but the fact is, your still the same kind hearted person you've always been, and for what it's worth, I ain't going anywhere friend.

    Being exhausted and unhappy for so long and being pushed to breaking point is entirely understandable, and i might not have the right words to make things better, but i want you to know that we aren't going anywhere, and that your still an amazing person who didn't deserve any of this.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,612 Extreme Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    hey everyone <3

    @eylah hey, how are you my favourite twat <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    im alone <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 1,612 Extreme Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    im alone <3

    @eylah not in spirit you ain't, cause you got me, even if only on here <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    eylah wrote: »
    im alone <3

    @eylah not in spirit you ain't, cause you got me, even if only on here <3

    appreciate you <3 i just tired 😪
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,097 Boards Guru
    im waiting for my isagi (blue lock) merch to come. its coming on the 14-16th of july so i gotta wait. i wish they had a sooner delivery option but oh well.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    Want to delete my account so I can disappear
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    helloo <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    hey <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    edited July 10
    eylah wrote: »
    hey <3

    Hey Eylah, how r you?
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    im fed up wbu?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    edited July 10
    eylah wrote: »
    im fed up wbu?

    Im not too bad thanks. We are here for, you aren't alone keep reaching out, you're so strong Eylah, Im sorry I wasn't much support on chat today to you but hope you found it helpful ❤️
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,722 The Mix Elder
    @DonnerKebab wanna chat?
  • eylaheylah Posts: 8,479 Legendary Poster
    im so tired 😴
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,927 Extreme Poster
    @River ,
    Want to delete my account so I can disappear
    - we hear you. Sounds like you're really feeling that urge right now to pull back and hide away?

    If you have any logistical questions / requests about the status of your account, please DM the Staff Team. And in the meanwhile, we're here for you on Boards.

    Was there something in particular that left you feeling this way?
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,662 The Mix Elder
    edited July 11
    @Sian321 mhm
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
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