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Will never feel pretty again without my long curled lashes

bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 304 The Mix Regular
in Health & Wellbeing
My lashes is what makes up my face. But because they’re damaged, I look like a man. When I smile, my eyes look smaller and my smile becomes uglier

I’ll never be able to fake the makeup look naturally without my long lashes :(
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Comments

  • SerxphicSerxphic Posts: 47 Boards Initiate
    Ahh I totally understand how you're feeling, I kind of feel the same about my eyelashes, I really do feel they make my face too! But even without them, I'm sure you do not look like a man, your smile is not uglier. Everyone is different, some people have small eyelashes, some long; but no matter what they do not make them look any less pretty or beautiful. I find out of everything, confidence is gorgeous, no matter what you may think you lack, just being able to be proud of who you are and what you have is pretty.

    Also depending on what happened to them I'm sure there are ways you can try to start growing them back, theres lots of lash serum etc that you could look into, if you have some lashes left, even if they're short you might also be able to look into extensions. But no matter what, i'm sure you're just as pretty <3
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,843 Extreme Poster
    Hi @bignosegirly0 thank you for this post and for sharing your feelings.

    When you say you look like a 'man' or feel 'ugly', how does that make you feel emotionally?

    It can be vulnerable to share our insecurities sometimes with our appearance, and we're here to listen without judgement.
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 304 The Mix Regular
    @Sian321 it makes me feel worthless and almost as if I’ve failed as a woman.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,843 Extreme Poster
    @bignosegirly0 , that sounds really hard - as though your 'purpose' or 'worth' as a woman might be dependent on your appearance in the eyes of men. I can hear just how defeated and low this makes you feel. We're here and we're listening.

    You’re allowed to explore what being a woman means to you, on your own terms. I wonder how can you meet yourself with kindness in this moment? As a gentle offering, maybe it’s worth asking who decided that being desired by men was the core indicator of your worth?

    You're doing so well to share these thoughts and explore this.
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 304 The Mix Regular
    @Sian321 hiya, sorry for the late reply. For me, the issue isn't how I feel about myself. Although I have struggled with my self esteem for years, I have become better in loving myself. For the most part, I am happy with myself; it's just that I dislike how others have treated me in the past. And having numerous experiences of men mistreating me and others due to looks has convinced me that my worth is based on how men perceive me.

    In response to your question "who decided that being desired by men was the core indicator of your worth", I guess other men lol.

    Generally speaking, the patriarchy is ruled by men, and men have decided that a woman's worth in life is to aesthetically appeal to their sexual desires. That's unfortunately how womanhood has been structured.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,843 Extreme Poster
    I hear you @bignosegirly0 , and that sounds extremely hard when - as you say - even if you've been able to reach more self-acceptance, externally you cannot control the behavior of others or the way specific men have treated you in the past.

    It sounds like their words or actions have had a really painful impact, and they stay with you.

    You're doing so well to share and express this, and your voice deserves to be heard.

    I wonder if there are any spaces in your life where you do feel valued for other attributes? Perhaps by men, or by other people more generally in your life?
  • bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 304 The Mix Regular
    @Sian321 the only people I feel valued by is my family. They all love me as a daughter and have said how proud they are of me, so that’s one good thing.

    Unfortunately, that’s about it. I don’t know if this is unrelated or not, but I remember when I used to go to the gym with a guy friend and that made me feel better. But unfortunately, his male friends saw us together and teased him for being around me, joking about us being a couple.

    Mind you, this is the same environment where the pretty coworkers can be as touchy with other male coworkers without anyone batting an eye. Yet, me being friends with a guy isn’t okay lol. We became a lot more distant ever since.
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