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Comparing myself to people
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,594 The Mix Elder
Day time support Chat is on, which is good, but I might not be around in full Chat as much since I’m currently on a course, Im on a break but I might get called in soon. After today, there is not a lot happening until the Sunday thread, I get it though completely, lack of mods. Anyway so I just wanted to vent here. Lately, I have been comparing myself to others a lot, and it is really been weighing on me. The guy running the course is only 27, and I’m 23 turning 24, so the age gap is not even that big but it still makes me reflect on how far behind I feel. I keep seeing people getting married or settled, and it is tough being single and unemployed in comparison. I try to remind myself that everyone is on their own path, but it is hard not to question why mine feels so slow and difficult. I end up beating myself up about it even when I know I shouldn’t. Life isn’t easy, especially being in this position and dealing with everything that comes up, it is hard.
This habit of comparing myself to others has been there since I was young. Back in school, I used to compare myself to classmates who had better phones, game consoles, or gadgets and always felt inferior for not having the same. Now the comparisons have shifted. I feel behind for not having a job, for being a virgin, for still living at home, for not being anywhere near marriage, and for not having gone to university. It is like a constant list in my head of things I haven’t done that others seem to have ticked off. On my course, most people are out of work too, which helps me feel a little less alone. But deep down, I really want to move forward with my life. The problem is, I have had moments where I thought I finally found a way forward, only for it to fall apart or for me to mess up. Every time it happens, it feels like I get knocked back to the start. It is exhausting and disheartening, and with the course ending next week, I am still unsure what comes next.
This habit of comparing myself to others has been there since I was young. Back in school, I used to compare myself to classmates who had better phones, game consoles, or gadgets and always felt inferior for not having the same. Now the comparisons have shifted. I feel behind for not having a job, for being a virgin, for still living at home, for not being anywhere near marriage, and for not having gone to university. It is like a constant list in my head of things I haven’t done that others seem to have ticked off. On my course, most people are out of work too, which helps me feel a little less alone. But deep down, I really want to move forward with my life. The problem is, I have had moments where I thought I finally found a way forward, only for it to fall apart or for me to mess up. Every time it happens, it feels like I get knocked back to the start. It is exhausting and disheartening, and with the course ending next week, I am still unsure what comes next.
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Comments
my point is, he didn't start until he was 25, then he started again at 30, then again at 45, and now he's rich. It's never to late in the journey to make it Redemption. It's human to compare yourself to others, and as much as i preach only compare yourself to your former self, i know full well it's human nature to compare to others. It's scary, and it's hard. And i was the same in school. grew up in poverty, so it was very rough. I still remember in year 2, the teacher asked us to stand up one by one, and say what we got for Christmas, and everybody was getting consoles, and devices, so i bullshitted and said i got a laptop, when really, I got a £20 gift card 😂. It's human to compare yourself.
And by the way Redemption, despite what society says, there's no shame in being a virgin. I'm one. I'm saving it for somebody special to make any relationship i end up having more significant. And it's scary not being able to get a job, but you aren't alone in that. There's only so much you can do in this job market. Still living at home, so are most people our age, the housing market is screwed to. The social contract as it's called has so thoroughly screwed the our generation, the younger generation, and has crippled us. We grew up through austerity, our education in school defunded, our communities defunded, our education costs for higher education, increased in some cases by 8 times, they took the golden years of our lives of us with lockdown, and they left us with a job market that A - Is brutal, far more than it ever was before, and B -A housing market that makes home ownership far harder than ever before and makes moving out virtually impossible, and C - Screwed the economy to the point that salaries have not grown in real terms for 20 years straight, leaving us unable to keep up with living costs. Everything that could be done to screw the younger generation has been done, and now the roosters coming home to nest. Huge rises in youth unemployment, huge numbers just checking out, the government are heading towards financial collapse, and they don't have a choice but to step in, address it, make change and invest in our generation, for there own sakes.
I know it's scary redemption, but you are young. If a news report, reported anybody below 30 as dying, you'd think god, that's so young. Heck, below 50 you'd think that it's no age at all to go. you have time, and it's never too late to make a breakthrough in anything and finally manage to start. As i said, my american cousin started again at 45. Astonishing stuff.
Woah @DonnerKebab thanks so much for all of this, what you're saying is so true, what a great friend you are and great person, I can see several replies to people such a great lad. Your reply is so detailed too.
Thanks so much river