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  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Connector Posts: 2,245 Boards Champion
    this is so silly but i always have a fidget with me at appointments to help keep me in the moment type of thing, i dropped it today while at the doctors and i know it’s there because i had it at the appointment and then didn’t after i got into my car. me being me was too scared to go back in because speaking to people scares me. i emailed them and asked if it was there (even though i know it is) and they said no. it’s so silly but i literally cried my way home over loosing it and now im crying again because im never gonna get it back:( im so silly…
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @shannon_164 it’s not silly at all. It’s your comfort thing. Would getting a new one help? I know it’s not the same as the old one but maybe if you got a couple of new ones then you always have one.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,438 Community Veteran
    edited June 16

    Ok so a bit more about today. Tbh I’m not feeling the best, I haven’t been for a wee while now. But I think I just have to push through that because if I give into it it will just get worse, if I just sit and do nothing and think about things. So I have to go get the hoover out and run that round, preferably a duster as well. This week I have to do my bedding as well, and I want to do my steps every day this week. If I can do that I’ve accomplished something right. I realised that that is what has given me the best few months in a long time mental health wise, feeling like I’m accomplishing something every day - and last week was a bad week for that.

    @independent_ I know you’re not feeling great, but it’s really good that you’re still trying to keep going and Im glad to see youve shared this here. It can be about just doing little things that help. You’re right when you feel like you’ve achieved something in the day, it makes a big difference. Last week might’ve been tough, but this week’s a new one. Even if you just get one or two things done, that still counts. Small steps as a time. You’re definately doing better than you think keep going, one step at a time.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @DonnerKebab thank you. I’m basically just looking for better general fitness, nothing specific really. Basically just walking more, and not sitting on my backside as much, so I thought starting small was a good plan. I can’t take the dog out on my own so I wanted to find something I could do at home, so when I saw that I thought it would be perfect.

    @shannon_164 I’m so glad your appointment went well. It’s understandable to panic, it can feel like you’re under pressure to open up in that moment and if you’re not quite ready your brain can just freeze. I’m glad you got something out of it though.

    Ok so a bit more about today. Tbh I’m not feeling the best, I haven’t been for a wee while now. But I think I just have to push through that because if I give into it it will just get worse, if I just sit and do nothing and think about things. So I have to go get the hoover out and run that round, preferably a duster as well. This week I have to do my bedding as well, and I want to do my steps every day this week. If I can do that I’ve accomplished something right. I realised that that is what has given me the best few months in a long time mental health wise, feeling like I’m accomplishing something every day - and last week was a bad week for that.

    @independent_ i'm so sorry you've had a rough time lately, but I'm so glad you've found something that can put you in a better mental state. Starting of small is the best thing. I know it's not the same, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. When I started working out at home, i struggled to do even 2 situps. Now, 50 per day. Same for a stationary cycling machine i was on when i finally went out to the gym rarely. could barely do a few km's, now, 20km each time. Starting off small is how you build yourself up, and the more you build yourself up, the better the dopamine boost. The fact that something is being done and that something has been accomplished compared to sitting idle is a win in of itself. I'm proud of you. Even at the start for me, trying to push more than 2 situps was painful and i struggled. Never underestimate small steps and what they can lead too. You're doing great.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    this is so silly but i always have a fidget with me at appointments to help keep me in the moment type of thing, i dropped it today while at the doctors and i know it’s there because i had it at the appointment and then didn’t after i got into my car. me being me was too scared to go back in because speaking to people scares me. i emailed them and asked if it was there (even though i know it is) and they said no. it’s so silly but i literally cried my way home over loosing it and now im crying again because im never gonna get it back:( im so silly…

    Not at all @shannon_164 . It's embarrassing to say as a guy, but i cried when my teddy bears leg got torn in the washer, at age 19. You have every right to cry over something that has given you so much comfort in difficult situations. Maybe the next time your there, you can look around for it perhaps? It might just be that the reception staff haven't even looked which is very likely to be the case and they just said no to avoid having to look. Not to give you false hope or anything. But it is possible.

    And there is nothing silly about you. Social anxiety is extremely challenging for so many people, and it's no easy feat to overcome. The fact you did a long shift early in the morning, dealt with all you dealt with there, and went to the doctors which is a very anxiety inducing place despite everything on time, is an accomplishment in of itself for someone with social anxiety. You did great today, and i'm proud of you for it. Don't let one simple small challenge at the end of it take away from what you've done and fought through this morning. be proud of yourself.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    Redemption wrote: »
    @Redemption thanks for kind words bro. I mean, everything i vented about here, plus the stuff in the men's chat, plus everything yesterday, it's a tricky time. But i've been through tricky times before, i'll go through one again and come as just as good. Yeah, just everybody's kind words has really had a massive impact on me, so you've all helped me more than you know. How are you doing today bro?

    @DonnerKebab yh definitely is a hard time for you atm but we're all here for you and it's a new week too so maybe it will be bit better, how's your morning going so far? I'm just overthinking a lot still, like even in terms of here I just overthink a lot like now you're going through a really hard time but I'm just bringing up myself and stuff like that. I hope things get better for you though bro, they will. Men's support chat is on again today at 8pm so we could talk there too.

    @Redemption cheers bro. Mornings going alright thanks. Mowed the lawn, washed and dried the pots, put all the washing on the line, and put my brother on the school bus. All by 10am. Had my aunt come round which was a surprise, who whilst she doesn't know anything about the issues with me and my mum, called out my mum for treating me shitly in front of her which was fun. My mum's actually been nice today so far surprisingly even after my aunt left. so, good stuff.

    And don't worry about overthinking mate. Everybody overthinks, some worse than others. Don't feel you need to keep quiet about your issues because others have issues. We're here to support each other. I could point to a war in the middle east and say some poor sod who's under missile attack has it worse than me so i shouldn't speak. Others going through stuff doesn't invalidate you going through stuff too. It's not a competition. I'm here to vent to bro.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,166 Community Veteran
    Meant to be at the doctors later but idk
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @River there is so much you need to talk about. I know it's hard given your previous experiences with them and all your struggles of being let down by the system, but there is a chance it will help you with everything you need this time. There's always a chance. Please try and go if you can.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,166 Community Veteran
    Should probably tell her this stuff

    - not taking my meds
    - Barely eating
    - Suicidal thoughts
    - Self harm
    - College
    - Home
    - My CPTSD escalating
    - The weird dissociating thing
    - The voice and visions
    - The alters

    🙃🙃🙃🙃
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,438 Community Veteran
    edited June 16
    Redemption wrote: »
    @Redemption thanks for kind words bro. I mean, everything i vented about here, plus the stuff in the men's chat, plus everything yesterday, it's a tricky time. But i've been through tricky times before, i'll go through one again and come as just as good. Yeah, just everybody's kind words has really had a massive impact on me, so you've all helped me more than you know. How are you doing today bro?

    @DonnerKebab yh definitely is a hard time for you atm but we're all here for you and it's a new week too so maybe it will be bit better, how's your morning going so far? I'm just overthinking a lot still, like even in terms of here I just overthink a lot like now you're going through a really hard time but I'm just bringing up myself and stuff like that. I hope things get better for you though bro, they will. Men's support chat is on again today at 8pm so we could talk there too.

    @Redemption cheers bro. Mornings going alright thanks. Mowed the lawn, washed and dried the pots, put all the washing on the line, and put my brother on the school bus. All by 10am. Had my aunt come round which was a surprise, who whilst she doesn't know anything about the issues with me and my mum, called out my mum for treating me shitly in front of her which was fun. My mum's actually been nice today so far surprisingly even after my aunt left. so, good stuff.

    And don't worry about overthinking mate. Everybody overthinks, some worse than others. Don't feel you need to keep quiet about your issues because others have issues. We're here to support each other. I could point to a war in the middle east and say some poor sod who's under missile attack has it worse than me so i shouldn't speak. Others going through stuff doesn't invalidate you going through stuff too. It's not a competition. I'm here to vent to bro.

    @DonnerKebab thanks so much, glad your mum is better today, hopefully she stays fine for as long as possible. That's true just because others have it worse doesn't invalidate our or anyone else's struggles.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    Should probably tell her this stuff

    - not taking my meds
    - Barely eating
    - Suicidal thoughts
    - Self harm
    - College
    - Home
    - My CPTSD escalating
    - The weird dissociating thing
    - The voice and visions
    - The alters

    🙃🙃🙃🙃

    @River yes river. You really should, cause they might be able to help you somehow differently than they have in the past. They need to know your full struggles to grasp it. And what's the worst case scenario? It get's dismissed and ignored and you carry on as per normal? The best case scenario on the other hand is you get a huge amount of support, professional referrals who can help to ease some of these challenges, and you come out better than before with less battles you have to face and more support.

    It might help even if you write a list down of all the key points you want to cover, maybe in bullet points and walk through it all with your doctor so it's somewhat structured and you miss nothing. That's what i've done before. Proud of you.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,166 Community Veteran
    Sorry but shout are absolutely fucking useless
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,166 Community Veteran
    lol this is funny v51qwaiqooek.jpeg

    5 minute chat for them to send me a resource and not even listen
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    lol this is funny v51qwaiqooek.jpeg

    5 minute chat for them to send me a resource and not even listen

    @River i'm so sorry they've been assholes to you and ignored you. That just isn't right of them. I know that it seems like nobody wants to listen, but know that everybody on the mix does. I'm here for you to vent to, like you were there for me last night friend.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,166 Community Veteran
    Tempted to cancel my appointment
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @River i know it's hard, but please stick to it and give a try. There's nothing to lose and everything to gain, and i really want to see you get some help if you can friend. I know it's tricky, and hard when it's never worked before, but there's always hope and a chance this time they'll help.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,166 Community Veteran
    @DonnerKebab i don’t know what to tell her though:(
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @River if you've got time, just jot down a list of all the things you want to get across, for example, what you put earlier and go through it with her or him one by one:

    "- not taking my meds
    - Barely eating
    - Suicidal thoughts
    - Self harm
    - College
    - Home
    - My CPTSD escalating
    - The weird dissociating thing
    - The voice and visions
    - The alters"
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 2,770 Boards Guru
    @eylah i found a budget winnie the pooh in oxfam. i didnt get it because although it said "pooh" on the shirt he didnt look like winnie the pooh. his shirt wasnt even red :skull: it was blue. it was cheap though (£2.49) but i still didnt get it. if he looked closer to the original winnie the pooh then i wouldve brought it 100% to match my picture frame of the donkey that i brought last time.

    @DonnerKebab i went to camhs today and because they said that i was doing so well we made a plan to lessen the frequency i see them each time. after a month my care coordinator said that im not going to see my therapist anymore. i mean she will come and visit sometimes but i wont have proper sessions with her. and also i didnt get to use the cash machine because i was too busy. and if i checked how much money i had my dad would ask about it and i dont really want to say how much i have left because i brought a youtube membership without telling him first. the online purchase was on my debit card so i dont think that its the end of the world that i brought it.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,901 Master Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    @eylah i found a budget winnie the pooh in oxfam. i didnt get it because although it said "pooh" on the shirt he didnt look like winnie the pooh. his shirt wasnt even red :skull: it was blue. it was cheap though (£2.49) but i still didnt get it. if he looked closer to the original winnie the pooh then i wouldve brought it 100% to match my picture frame of the donkey that i brought last time.

    @DonnerKebab i went to camhs today and because they said that i was doing so well we made a plan to lessen the frequency i see them each time. after a month my care coordinator said that im not going to see my therapist anymore. i mean she will come and visit sometimes but i wont have proper sessions with her. and also i didnt get to use the cash machine because i was too busy. and if i checked how much money i had my dad would ask about it and i dont really want to say how much i have left because i brought a youtube membership without telling him first. the online purchase was on my debit card so i dont think that its the end of the world that i brought it.

    aw i love how winnie the pooh for all you guys reminds you guys of me. thankyou 😭
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 2,770 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    @eylah i found a budget winnie the pooh in oxfam. i didnt get it because although it said "pooh" on the shirt he didnt look like winnie the pooh. his shirt wasnt even red :skull: it was blue. it was cheap though (£2.49) but i still didnt get it. if he looked closer to the original winnie the pooh then i wouldve brought it 100% to match my picture frame of the donkey that i brought last time.

    @DonnerKebab i went to camhs today and because they said that i was doing so well we made a plan to lessen the frequency i see them each time. after a month my care coordinator said that im not going to see my therapist anymore. i mean she will come and visit sometimes but i wont have proper sessions with her. and also i didnt get to use the cash machine because i was too busy. and if i checked how much money i had my dad would ask about it and i dont really want to say how much i have left because i brought a youtube membership without telling him first. the online purchase was on my debit card so i dont think that its the end of the world that i brought it.

    aw i love how winnie the pooh for all you guys reminds you guys of me. thankyou 😭

    no problem <3
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption hey redemption, I'm gonna be like 30 minutes, mum wants me to take my brother on another daily walk.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,438 Community Veteran
    @Redemption hey redemption, I'm gonna be like 30 minutes, mum wants me to take my brother on another daily walk.

    @DonnerKebab no worries, I was about to answer your question but chat closed, I'll definitely be on the men's chat later. Talk in 20/30 mins bro, take your time. I hope everyone's alright with you bro.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,438 Community Veteran
    You home yet @DonnerKebab , no rush though bro, just tag me when you're ready if you want
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption just got back mate. Here to talk if you want.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,438 Community Veteran
    @Redemption just got back mate. Here to talk if you want.

    Cool @DonnerKebab how was the walk?
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption yeah, it was a good one. Took him to the shops, then the park, then around a little bit and then home. He was pretty good, and my mum really did zip up today thankfully.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,438 Community Veteran
    @Redemption yeah, it was a good one. Took him to the shops, then the park, then around a little bit and then home. He was pretty good, and my mum really did zip up today thankfully.

    Sounds like a good start to the week bro @DonnerKebab I was really sad to hear what happened yesterday, sorry if I'm reminding you but yh I was sad to hear it, I was upset to read it but it's a new week now.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 855 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption I am certain if she didn't struggle still with him, she's get rid of me if she could. She's not fast enough to get to him and stick the helmet on him during headbanging episodes, or at least nowhere near as fast as me, and get's to tired to walk long distances now because of COPD, so I am still of need somewhat, but the moment i'm not, as i say, chopping block for me.

    It has been a good start to the week thankfully, and i do appreciate your support mate with it all. It's good talking about it. How have things been for you? You mentioned your mom wanted to slap you.
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