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Feeling lost in life
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,266 Community Veteran
A few weeks ago, I attended a group assessment session for a shop through an organisation that helps people gain experience and move towards employment. It was not a typical interview as we did team tasks followed by a short interview at the end. If successful, it would have led to a four-week placement, but I arrived late after getting off at the wrong bus stop and struggled with eye contact during the interview. I was not selected. This was not the first time something like this happened. I also attended a similar assessment at another shop and an airport job interview, but again, lateness and nerves held me back. These repeated setbacks have been frustrating and disappointing, especially because I want to move forward but it feels like something always stops me.
Based on feedback from the placements, I have been advised to take part in a new course starting next week with others around my age, doing group activities like cooking and climbing. The goal is to build confidence, routine, and social skills, I think. I am open to it, but I often feel stuck in a cycle of worry and pressure about my job search, life moving too fast, and people’s expectations. Being out of work long-term has deeply affected my self-esteem, and even small comments can bring me down. I try to stay hopeful, but when things do not work out, it hits hard and makes me feel even more uncertain and overwhelmed. It is exhausting, and I just want to feel like I am getting somewhere. I know I will get there, but it is just the uncertainty of when and the pressure is on and everything gets too much sometimes.
Based on feedback from the placements, I have been advised to take part in a new course starting next week with others around my age, doing group activities like cooking and climbing. The goal is to build confidence, routine, and social skills, I think. I am open to it, but I often feel stuck in a cycle of worry and pressure about my job search, life moving too fast, and people’s expectations. Being out of work long-term has deeply affected my self-esteem, and even small comments can bring me down. I try to stay hopeful, but when things do not work out, it hits hard and makes me feel even more uncertain and overwhelmed. It is exhausting, and I just want to feel like I am getting somewhere. I know I will get there, but it is just the uncertainty of when and the pressure is on and everything gets too much sometimes.
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Comments
Thanks again @MorgsSmiles24, I really appreciate your kind words and support. You're right it is normal to feel nervous, but sometimes it can feel like I'm the only one struggling, especially when things keep dragging on. I haven't done many test runs before interviews, but that’s a really good idea I can see how that would ease some of the anxiety. I might try that next time.
Are you with an agency? as I mistakenly made the assumption that your with the JC. To be fair they barely arrange for you to do any course or placements as your supposed "arrange them yourself" as they do the bare minimum to help you into work.
Im on a programme that help me look for work and with an agency too yh they let me know if they have any jobs I'm interested in.
It sounds like you have recieved some feedback about how the group interview went, and in particular, lateness played a role in the outcome. That is helpful information and gives you the opportunity to try something different next time! What would you say created the lateness this time? And yes, I love that idea of doing a trail run the day before! Whenever I moved schools growing up, the day before my first day I would practise catching the bus there so that I knew the routine inside-out, and it also made me less nervous too.
The course you've been enrolled on sounds really exciting - esspecially the chance to connect with others in a similiar position and build your confidence. I hear what you're saying though about feeling frustrated this next step is not yet paid work. You've been putting so much effort and enegry towards this search, and you're tired of feeling held back. I really hope the course can be a useful stepping stone and sounds great to get the chance to build those skills which are then really applicable and relevant to future job roles working in teams too!
@Sian321 Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful message. I really appreciate you taking the time to understand how I’m feeling. You’re right it has definitely been frustrating and extremely stressful etc at times, but your words genuinely help. I’m hoping the course will be a good step forward, and I’ll definitely try that idea of a trial run before interviews next time.
Im ok thanks @Rose113 hope you're ok