Still Stuck After So Long

Redemption · May 13

It feels like every time I try to move forward or put effort into improving, something pushes me back. I end up feeling overwhelmed, like a failure, useless, inferior, behind in life, unhappy, hopeless, and irritable. I'm having nightmares, my appetite is sometimes affected, and I’ve tried different things like a training course which ended in failure and sent me back to square one, which really hit me hard. I got rejected from two placements after thinking I was making progress, then I was late to my last one and completely flopped it due to other issues. I’ve been looking at other options, and when I think I’ve found something, I come to terms with its downsides, start to get used to it, and then it suddenly starts to look bleak again. Every time I try to put setbacks behind me, a new one comes and makes me relive everything all over again.

The pressure is piling up, and I’m dependent on these online support services. I’m trying to hold on, but it’s hard. It feels like I’ve been struggling for so so so long and it’s like when is it going to end, is it ever going to end, because every time I think there’s hope something knocks me right back to square one. On top of all this, some other shit has happened too, which just adds to everything and makes it even harder to cope. It’s just like after so so long, I’m still not there, and it’s really getting to me. I'm sorry.

toffuna101 · May 13

sending hugs @Redemption if youre comfortable with them right now. youre so strong for going through this and everyone is rooting for you,

independent_ · May 13

I think it’s always worth remembering that setbacks are not the end of your journey. They are just that - setbacks. Sometimes it feels like you’re back at square one, but I would argue you’ve come a long way from when you first joined here. You are trying, and that is all you can do. People recognise the effort behind something even if that something ends up failing - there was still intent and effort there. Remember that.

Redemption · May 13

toffuna101 wrote: »

sending hugs @Redemption if youre comfortable with them right now. youre so strong for going through this and everyone is rooting for you,

independent_ wrote: »

I think it’s always worth remembering that setbacks are not the end of your journey. They are just that - setbacks. Sometimes it feels like you’re back at square one, but I would argue you’ve come a long way from when you first joined here. You are trying, and that is all you can do. People recognise the effort behind something even if that something ends up failing - there was still intent and effort there. Remember that.

Cheers thank you both of you ♥️

DonnerKebab · May 13

Mate, if i could offer you some advice, maybe not the best advice, but this would be it. You can only try you're hardest. There's nothing more you can do than that. And as hard as it seems, you have to drill it into yourself that so much of you're situation is not you're fault at all. There are people graduating university with medical degree's who are unemployed in this market despite being trained doctors. People with nursing degree's unable to get work as nurses. I finished a computer science degree, and I'm in a lot of student debt, unable to get a job of any kind right now. It's insane the state of the job market in the UK. There is only so much you can do when the situation is what it is, and is out of you're hands. I mean, i was even thinking of trying to save and go on a working holiday to Australia to escape this job market for a year, but even that seems distant to me now. The point is, the state of the Job market isn't you're fault, you have to drill that fact in. And this won't make the feeling of being behind go away, but you might be able to ease it a bit if that makes sense. I'm in the same boat as you are. Heck, my older brother (not my severely autistic younger one), he mocks me every day now for not having a job 8 months out of uni rather ruthlessly. It's not easy, but, please understand, It isn't you're fault. 20 years ago, you'd have smooth sailing by now into a career. Heck a little over 25% of people aged 18-25 are in the same boat we are now, and it's rapidly rising. The entry level job market is a barren wasteland. So please don't feel alone, or like you've failed, cause you haven't. The system has failed people like us. And eventually, they're gonna have to take action to sort this with the NEET levels rising as high as they are, if for nothing else, then for future tax income when boomers retire in coming years. So, perhaps not the best advice, but it's all i can say right now mate. You're a warrior for holding on, and there's always hope things will get better in future.

Redemption · May 13

DonnerKebab wrote: »

Mate, if i could offer you some advice, maybe not the best advice, but this would be it. You can only try you're hardest. There's nothing more you can do than that. And as hard as it seems, you have to drill it into yourself that so much of you're situation is not you're fault at all. There are people graduating university with medical degree's who are unemployed in this market despite being trained doctors. People with nursing degree's unable to get work as nurses. I finished a computer science degree, and I'm in a lot of student debt, unable to get a job of any kind right now. It's insane the state of the job market in the UK. There is only so much you can do when the situation is what it is, and is out of you're hands. I mean, i was even thinking of trying to save and go on a working holiday to Australia to escape this job market for a year, but even that seems distant to me now. The point is, the state of the Job market isn't you're fault, you have to drill that fact in. And this won't make the feeling of being behind go away, but you might be able to ease it a bit if that makes sense. I'm in the same boat as you are. Heck, my older brother (not my severely autistic younger one), he mocks me every day now for not having a job 8 months out of uni rather ruthlessly. It's not easy, but, please understand, It isn't you're fault. 20 years ago, you'd have smooth sailing by now into a career. Heck a little over 25% of people aged 18-25 are in the same boat we are now, and it's rapidly rising. The entry level job market is a barren wasteland. So please don't feel alone, or like you've failed, cause you haven't. The system has failed people like us. And eventually, they're gonna have to take action to sort this with the NEET levels rising as high as they are, if for nothing else, then for future tax income when boomers retire in coming years. So, perhaps not the best advice, but it's all i can say right now mate. You're a warrior for holding on, and there's always hope things will get better in future.

Woah… that all means a lot. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting such a long and thoughtful reply, and I really appreciate you taking the time to write all of that. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this, and hearing that even people with degrees like medicine or nursing are struggling puts things into perspective. What you said about it not being our fault really hit me—because I’ve been blaming myself so much lately, and it’s exhausting.

You saying “you’re a warrior for holding on” genuinely got me emotional. It means more than you know. The fact that you’re going through it too and still found the strength to lift someone else up… that says a lot about you. I know it’s not easy for you either, and I’m sorry your brother is giving you such a hard time. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to deal with that on top of everything else. You deserve so much better than that, and I hope things start to turn around for you soon.

I’ll try to remind myself more often that this broken system isn’t a reflection of my worth or effort. Thank you again for sharing all that. It helped more than I can properly put into words. You’re doing great, and I’m really grateful to have someone like you to talk to.

Still Stuck After So Long

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