Should I tell my GP or the nurse what's going on?

Idk why I'm even writing this coz I think in the back of my mind i know what i should do but I almost just dont want to do it.

Anyways, ive mentioned it and few times that I have to see the ED health nurse every month pretty much even though im discharged from the service.
During these appointments I have to have my weight checked 🤮, blood pressure stood up and sat down, then have my heart rate and O2 levels looked at, finally we do bloods (i dont mind this but it takes a few attempts at times, im also weird that i like seeing it/the pain when trying to find a vein) - although during all of these i dont like that she see my SH.

Now to cut to the chase, i am seeing Nurse J on Wednesday and i dont know if I tell her what been happening: like she knows about the not eating (when at work), purging and the SH/SI. But here's what I dont know if I want to bring up, the physical symptoms

dizziness - especially when getting up
light-headedness
palpitation
constantly cold
in pain - stabbing/cramping pain
muscle sorness/weakness
heart rate issues - bradycardia?

Like alot of this is due to the purging which causes my potassium to drop and results in alot of the above.

Nurse J has told me previously that the team have said to contact them if I get any of these symptoms

Palpitations, cramps in arms and legs, tingling sensations or numbness or feeling generally unwell with weakness/tiredness.

as these are almost tale-tale-signs of low potassium and need my blood checked like asap so I can have supplements of potassium so i dont cause permentant damage.

However this is the bit I don't know i mention. For the last few days/week my heart rate has been dropping below range and staying there for 10 minutes or more. I know I shouldnt use "dr google" but its making me think the worst about it. Like this has happened before and I've not mentioned it because it settled but my parents were trying to push me to tell someone because in the family there are underlying heart issues mainly on the maternal side.

I just dont know what i should do

do i email and tell her this
she will just try to get me in earlier (physically can't with work though)
do i push it aside and sweep it under the rug
should I mention it to my GP (on my record it says I'm due for an ECG) and im due to see them for a med review in 2 weeks
can I just cancel it all together and pretend it doesn't exist

I dont want to do this anymore
Wish the mental health team didn't pick up of my relationship with food
I'm just internally screaming about everything.

Maybe i will cancel it and hope it all settles like it usually does

Anyways again idk why I made this, not really looking for advice or anything, just needed to get it out in a way

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Comments

Redemption

Lottie5433 wrote: »

I dont feel i can, she basically told me my anxiety is normal, so what's the point in saying the true reason why my anxiety is high.

Im still kinda undecided if im going to go. Currently in the gym trying to distract myself. I have about an hour before I have to decide if im going as I need to leave the gym or my house by 11:30 at the latest.

I feel stupid for telling her I'm anxious and uncomfortable with it being with a new nurse. Like nurse T has previously phoned me but thats not the same as seeing them.

@Lottie5433 that's understandable how you feel like you can't tell her. Anxiety might be common but it doesn't mean you have to struggle, you aren't stupid for talking about it. It's good you are looking at distractions like going to the gym, that's good for mental health.

Invisible_me

There's nothing wrong in it at all and it's normal and understandable your anxiety but that doesn't imvalidate your feelings.
I wish you best of luck- try and go.

Lottie5433

Thank you both @Invisible_me and @Redemption means alot.
I just feel like i can't talk about anything in regards to my anxiety its like no one actually understands it so easier to struggle on my own .
Gym is the only thing that's stopping me getting overwhelmed by all the anxiety but trying to stop myself from crying whilst here 🙃

Redemption

Lottie5433 wrote: »

Thank you both and @Redemption means alot.
I just feel like i can't talk about anything in regards to my anxiety its like no one actually understands it so easier to struggle on my own .
Gym is the only thing that's stopping me getting overwhelmed by all the anxiety but trying to stop myself from crying whilst here 🙃

No problem @Lottie5433 we are here and I think we'll understand you. Might be people here who can relate, I'm not diagnosed with anxiety but definitely got symptoms from it, I might relate, I'm always here if you need a listening ear. I know how it feels when you feel no one understands. Sorry if it sounds like im making it about myself though but just saying I relate.

Invisible_me

Lottie5433 wrote: »

Thank you both @Invisible_me and @Redemption means alot.
I just feel like i can't talk about anything in regards to my anxiety its like no one actually understands it so easier to struggle on my own .
Gym is the only thing that's stopping me getting overwhelmed by all the anxiety but trying to stop myself from crying whilst here 🙃

Absolutely no worries we are here..
Let us know what you decide. We are here.
And it's good you have an outlet of gym to help manage emotions.

Lottie5433

Well I've driven here, just sat in my car deciding if I go in.
My anxiety is saying not to go and stay in my car

Redemption

Lottie5433 wrote: »

Well I've driven here, just sat in my car deciding if I go in.
My anxiety is saying not to go and stay in my car

You've got this

Invisible_me

Lottie5433 wrote: »

Well I've driven here, just sat in my car deciding if I go in.
My anxiety is saying not to go and stay in my car

You can do thus..

Lottie5433

So i went in.
I hated it.
Nurse J doesn't ask that many questions, why did Nurse T have to 😩

Definatly going to have some things sent back to the mental health team again. Or I'm going to have them phoning me

Got told if was dehydrated too
Also wasn't allowed to see my weight 😕
She asked so many questions about my SH and SI - like that doesn't matter your there to monitor my physical health

Invisible_me

Lottie5433 wrote: »

So i went in.
I hated it.
Nurse J doesn't ask that many questions, why did Nurse T have to 😩

Definatly going to have some things sent back to the mental health team again. Or I'm going to have them phoning me

Got told if was dehydrated too
Also wasn't allowed to see my weight 😕
She asked so many questions about my SH and SI - like that doesn't matter your there to monitor my physical health

That sounds hard! I hear it! Yiu were brave going and letting them do the checks, I don't let any new person weigh me and if I have sh marks then I'm not rolling my sleeves up so the fact you let them is good.
What kind of questions was she asking?
Try and drink some water @Lottie5433.

I'd speak to nurse J when you see her. Even email her and say you went but found it difficult.
Mh team phoning you isnt neccersarily a bad thing.

Lottie5433

Usually I won't let anyone see my SH but because i had my blood pressure taken and weight she saw them as I had to remove my jumper (i had a t-shirt on underneath), i did kinda make out like i didn't want to because having it off made me feel insecure but she just said she'd be as quick as possible.

She just asked lots of questions

do I feel dizzy, have i fainted as a result
how are my bowel movements - how often
do i use laxatives, how often, do they make me feel sick
do I get palpitations, what do they feel like (fluttering/skipping a beat or like its coming out my chest)
do i get chest pains
do I get pins and needles/numbness in my muscles
do my muscles feel week
am I fatigued (waking up feeling tired etc)
do i get suicidal thoughts
do i feel suicidal today
do i harm myself
have i harmed myself - do I need to look at any for you
do I have a safety plan, is it something I feel i can use

I think that was everything
Like nurse J only really asks about my SH and SI if ive done it recently and then she just asks if I use laxatives and how often/many.
But Nurse T asking these just felt really invasive. I gwt she was likely doing it because i emailed J about my symptoms

I dont want to email nurse J anymore. I just want to not be in touch with them anynore - even if my potassium low i don't care anymore.

Also dont want or need the mental health team phoning me or contacting me - seeing them next tuesday anyway (likely be asked about all this then if I don't hear from them)

Invisible_me

Lottie5433 wrote: »

Usually I won't let anyone see my SH but because i had my blood pressure taken and weight she saw them as I had to remove my jumper (i had a t-shirt on underneath), i did kinda make out like i didn't want to because having it off made me feel insecure but she just said she'd be as quick as possible.

She just asked lots of questions
do I feel dizzy, have i fainted as a result

how are my bowel movements - how often

do i use laxatives, how often, do they make me feel sick

do I get palpitations, what do they feel like (fluttering/skipping a beat or like its coming out my chest)

do i get chest pains

do I get pins and needles/numbness in my muscles

do my muscles feel week

am I fatigued (waking up feeling tired etc)

do i get suicidal thoughts

do i feel suicidal today

do i harm myself

have i harmed myself - do I need to look at any for you

do I have a safety plan, is it something I feel i can use

I think that was everything
Like nurse J only really asks about my SH and SI if ive done it recently and then she just asks if I use laxatives and how often/many.
But Nurse T asking these just felt really invasive. I gwt she was likely doing it because i emailed J about my symptoms

I dont want to email nurse J anymore. I just want to not be in touch with them anynore - even if my potassium low i don't care anymore.

Also dont want or need the mental health team phoning me or contacting me - seeing them next tuesday anyway (likely be asked about all this then if I don't hear from them)

Hi
I hear how invasive and overwhelming all these questions may have felt for you and feels more so when its someone different but you did very well in going, honestly so well done! You fighter your anxiety and didn't bavk out and even let nurse t do what they needed to. I blank refuse weight and blood pressure, especially if there's marks on me, only only if it was my doc then I would anyone else I just say no and "no means no" .

It seems though they asked these out of comcern and wanting to get a full picture of any health difficulties, needs you may be needing. Did thry say anything about why it was them and nurse J?

How are you feeling about seeing the MH team?

Lottie5433

Invisible_me wrote: »

Hi
I hear how invasive and overwhelming all these questions may have felt for you and feels more so when its someone different but you did very well in going, honestly so well done! You fighter your anxiety and didn't bavk out and even let nurse t do what they needed to. I blank refuse weight and blood pressure, especially if there's marks on me, only only if it was my doc then I would anyone else I just say no and "no means no" .

It seems though they asked these out of comcern and wanting to get a full picture of any health difficulties, needs you may be needing. Did thry say anything about why it was them and nurse J?

How are you feeling about seeing the MH team?

Hi, thank you for that.
The questions were really invasive and overwhelming especially coming from nurse T - I wasn't completely honest with her though. Usually I will point blank refuse my weight- just coz i fixate on it - but decided she could do it then.
They may have been asking the questions out of concern and tk find out what I might be needing - however i lied when It came to the questions about my SH, SI and safety.
No i wasn't told anything about why i saw them instead of nurse J.

I dont want to see the mental health team. Like im having my assessment online - but they can see all rhe notes my therapist made and what the nurse wrote.
Like im just going to be asked about my self-harm, suicidal thoughts, trauma, proably medication. So yeah i don't want to talk about that anymore. The only good thing is that it's online so I can i have fidget toys and distractions but ive been tempted to cancel for so long now. The only thing stopping me is that ive been waiting like 6 months for the assessment .

Invisible_me

I understand it felt difficult it would have done.. but you did good in letting them weigh you. Its understandable you weren't completely honest with them , it's a new person.

Having it online can help as you can present anxious without anyone knowing and as you said have fidget toys. Try not to cancel it, give it a go that's all you can do.