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šø Idek anymore šø
Rose113
Community Connector Posts: 3,215 Boards Guru
Disclaimer: NOT aimed at anyone here!!
I donāt even know why am making this post itās probably just pretty pointless lol
I would very much like to just delete everything and be done with friendships with people that make it a 1-sided rant fest like you told me that I was venting to you to much I respected those boundaries. But you only message me if you need me for support and when youāve relapsed or canāt keep safeā¦but when Iām struggling itās wrong and not allowed like it donāt work one way and not the other surely if Iām not allowed to ask you for support then you shouldnāt vent to me 24/7 š¤Ø
Or when someone tells me something worrying itās ādonāt report me youāll ruin my lifeā but you report me for just thoughts?? How does that work? Surely if Iām worried for a persons safety I can report even if apparently it will āruin livesā yeah no surely it canāt ruin there life.
Or when I discarded to the side when idek what Iād done wrong and one day we was close but the next day itās like we were never friends like whaaaaat? Iām just easily replaced like no one wants me lol hahahaha neither did my mom šš
Live laugh love friendship issues šš»
Imagine not being wanted by your own blood hahahah yeah no I couldnāt care less my mom donāt give a damn about me 2 faced lies from her mouth and false āloveā when a better opportunity comes along whoops once again Iām not wanted šš»
Tried for a relationship with her that blew up in my face šš»
Imagine having to sit drowning in your own suicidal thoughts and self harm urges because you have NO ONE you can go to because all friendships are one sided and people have basically proved your just a burden and a bother to people but all you hear is āIām here for youā āyou can talk to meā hmm yeah thatās just bs statements because when I do reach out to people like that I get shown itās a fucking shitty waste of time
Infact itās safe to say Iām:
- a waste of space
- A burden
- A bother
- Unwanted
- Disappointment
- A disgrace
- Worthless
- Stupid
- A freak
No one can tell me otherwise!! Because that is MY truth and no one elseās truth are believable
5 friends- 2 of them couldnāt give a shit, 1 of them is too worried about me, 2 others Iām practically there parents sooooo yeah āfriendsā
But itās all good, itās fineeeee, itās fine, itās all good š
Iām a burden, I take up too much space, I take up to much oxygen, I annoy people with my random questions, I feel things to much, I keep all heavy things to myself to not be the problem
Death!
I donāt even know why am making this post itās probably just pretty pointless lol
I would very much like to just delete everything and be done with friendships with people that make it a 1-sided rant fest like you told me that I was venting to you to much I respected those boundaries. But you only message me if you need me for support and when youāve relapsed or canāt keep safeā¦but when Iām struggling itās wrong and not allowed like it donāt work one way and not the other surely if Iām not allowed to ask you for support then you shouldnāt vent to me 24/7 š¤Ø
Or when someone tells me something worrying itās ādonāt report me youāll ruin my lifeā but you report me for just thoughts?? How does that work? Surely if Iām worried for a persons safety I can report even if apparently it will āruin livesā yeah no surely it canāt ruin there life.
Or when I discarded to the side when idek what Iād done wrong and one day we was close but the next day itās like we were never friends like whaaaaat? Iām just easily replaced like no one wants me lol hahahaha neither did my mom šš
Live laugh love friendship issues šš»
Imagine not being wanted by your own blood hahahah yeah no I couldnāt care less my mom donāt give a damn about me 2 faced lies from her mouth and false āloveā when a better opportunity comes along whoops once again Iām not wanted šš»
Tried for a relationship with her that blew up in my face šš»
Imagine having to sit drowning in your own suicidal thoughts and self harm urges because you have NO ONE you can go to because all friendships are one sided and people have basically proved your just a burden and a bother to people but all you hear is āIām here for youā āyou can talk to meā hmm yeah thatās just bs statements because when I do reach out to people like that I get shown itās a fucking shitty waste of time
Infact itās safe to say Iām:
- a waste of space
- A burden
- A bother
- Unwanted
- Disappointment
- A disgrace
- Worthless
- Stupid
- A freak
No one can tell me otherwise!! Because that is MY truth and no one elseās truth are believable
5 friends- 2 of them couldnāt give a shit, 1 of them is too worried about me, 2 others Iām practically there parents sooooo yeah āfriendsā
But itās all good, itās fineeeee, itās fine, itās all good š
Iām a burden, I take up too much space, I take up to much oxygen, I annoy people with my random questions, I feel things to much, I keep all heavy things to myself to not be the problem
Death!
Suicide is wrong *apparently* so Iām just tallying my days counting down hoping everyday something will happen 
like you have people pass away who donāt want to do why not switch makes everyone happy
like you have people pass away who donāt want to do why not switch makes everyone happySometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
3
Comments
Thank you for sharing what's going on for you at the moment. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot emotionally, and we are here to listen to you.
I'm hearing that you are feeling hurt from what feels like an emotionally one-sided friendship - feeling like you are giving that person your time and care and not getting the same in return, would that be right? That can feel tough, your frustration and hurt are so valid, because you want to be cared by someone in the same way that you are caring for them. We care about you here, we are here to listen to you and support you.
I'm wondering, if you felt comfy, if we could explore how you've been made to feel a 'waste of time' when you choose to reach out to people? I'm understanding that a lot of how you are feeling about yourself feels very real and true to you, which is so valid considering what you've been through and how you've been treated, so hearing other people say otherwise may not feel true to you. But we want to re-assure you that our truth is that we believe you are worthy and wanted here in this community.
I want to check in with how all of this is feeling now. I also wanted to check in with what you mentioned in the spoiler, this sounds serious and important and we are here to look out for you. You are wanted and worthy, @Rose113 , to all of us in this community.
Take care.