🌸 Idek anymore 🌸

Rose113

Disclaimer: NOT aimed at anyone here!!

I don’t even know why am making this post it’s probably just pretty pointless lol

I would very much like to just delete everything and be done with friendships with people that make it a 1-sided rant fest like you told me that I was venting to you to much I respected those boundaries. But you only message me if you need me for support and when you’ve relapsed or can’t keep safe…but when I’m struggling it’s wrong and not allowed like it don’t work one way and not the other surely if I’m not allowed to ask you for support then you shouldn’t vent to me 24/7 🤨

Or when someone tells me something worrying it’s “don’t report me you’ll ruin my life” but you report me for just thoughts?? How does that work? Surely if I’m worried for a persons safety I can report even if apparently it will “ruin lives” yeah no surely it can’t ruin there life.

Or when I discarded to the side when idek what I’d done wrong and one day we was close but the next day it’s like we were never friends like whaaaaat? I’m just easily replaced like no one wants me lol hahahaha neither did my mom 😝🙄

Live laugh love friendship issues 👍🏻

Imagine not being wanted by your own blood hahahah yeah no I couldn’t care less my mom don’t give a damn about me 2 faced lies from her mouth and false “love” when a better opportunity comes along whoops once again I’m not wanted 👍🏻

Tried for a relationship with her that blew up in my face 👍🏻

Imagine having to sit drowning in your own suicidal thoughts and self harm urges because you have NO ONE you can go to because all friendships are one sided and people have basically proved your just a burden and a bother to people but all you hear is “I’m here for you” “you can talk to me” hmm yeah that’s just bs statements because when I do reach out to people like that I get shown it’s a fucking shitty waste of time

Infact it’s safe to say I’m:

- a waste of space
- A burden
- A bother
- Unwanted
- Disappointment
- A disgrace
- Worthless
- Stupid
- A freak

No one can tell me otherwise!! Because that is MY truth and no one else’s truth are believable

5 friends- 2 of them couldn’t give a shit, 1 of them is too worried about me, 2 others I’m practically there parents sooooo yeah “friends”

But it’s all good, it’s fineeeee, it’s fine, it’s all good 🙃

I’m a burden, I take up too much space, I take up to much oxygen, I annoy people with my random questions, I feel things to much, I keep all heavy things to myself to not be the problem

Death!

Suicide is wrong *apparently* so I’m just tallying my days counting down hoping everyday something will happen like you have people pass away who don’t want to do why not switch makes everyone happy

Lily

Hey @Rose113 ,

Thank you for sharing what's going on for you at the moment. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot emotionally, and we are here to listen to you.

I'm hearing that you are feeling hurt from what feels like an emotionally one-sided friendship - feeling like you are giving that person your time and care and not getting the same in return, would that be right? That can feel tough, your frustration and hurt are so valid, because you want to be cared by someone in the same way that you are caring for them. We care about you here, we are here to listen to you and support you.

I'm wondering, if you felt comfy, if we could explore how you've been made to feel a 'waste of time' when you choose to reach out to people? I'm understanding that a lot of how you are feeling about yourself feels very real and true to you, which is so valid considering what you've been through and how you've been treated, so hearing other people say otherwise may not feel true to you. But we want to re-assure you that our truth is that we believe you are worthy and wanted here in this community.

I want to check in with how all of this is feeling now. I also wanted to check in with what you mentioned in the spoiler, this sounds serious and important and we are here to look out for you. You are wanted and worthy, @Rose113 , to all of us in this community.

Take care.

Rose113

Thank you @Lily don’t want to waste yours or anyone else’s time that I already have on here so I’ll be good

Leyla

@Rose113 We want to assure you that we never see you as a waste of time, and are always happy to try to listen and help however we can. And I'm sure the Community would wholeheartedly agree for me, this space is yours as much as it is anyone else's!