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im so overwhelmed đź’”

eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
im feeling so overwhelmed for next week bc i have so many appts happening and im just feeling exhausted from everything and have no energy to even go to these appts or even having to talk to ppl.

i have a appt every day except for friday next week and im just feeling rly exhausted bc of it. im dreading tmr bc its a pip assessment im dreading tuesday bc im having to have a mri and contrast into my hips. im dreading thursday bc i have my emergency appt that was made on friday. im just feeling exhausted.

i hate talking to ppl and this is just gonna make me feel bad mentally bc its gonna make me so nervous abt it all. im a anxious person bc i been hurt so many times and i know it sounds silly me being anxious abt appts that arent even worth being anxious abt but its been building up for months now and it is playing on my mind.

im in pain to and its just never ending it rly isnt. i wish it would just end everything to end so i dont have to mix with other ppl bc im fucking done with everyone and everything at this point bc its making me so anxious. im trying to find gd things in everything thats happening this week but it just seems like nothing gd is happening bc of these appts. why wont everything just fuck off and leave me alone :/.

im sat here crying bc i wish i could just pause life so next week doesn’t have to happen and that i can just sleep tonight without being worried abt appts. it just is so hard but i probably sound so stupid rn for being anxious abt such stupid things lol. i apologise

:/
ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸

Comments

  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Champion Posts: 1,396 Wise Owl
    hey @eylah 🙂

    you don’t sound stupid at all, and you don’t need to apologise!! i can hear how overwhelmed and exhausted you are, and that’s completely understandable with everything you have going on. it’s a lot, and it makes sense that it’s all building up and weighing on you.

    i really wish i could take some of the stress off your shoulders. you don’t have to force yourself to find something good in all of this right now, sometimes things are just hard, and that’s okay, but you’re not alone in it. i’m here for you, and i care about you.

    i know it feels like too much right now, but you will get through this. one step at a time, one appointment at a time, and in the meantime, we’re all here for you, and you don’t have to go through it all alone.

    i’m so so proud of you <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    thankyou shannon <3

    made it to my appt today and gonna go primark after but im just anxious for rest of the week :/.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Champion Posts: 1,396 Wise Owl
    @eylah how are you feeling after your appointment today? i really hope you’re ok <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    mh team dont care police dont care. i give up with calling ppl for help. :/ tried contacting helplines but they dont care. im safe im just tired lol i just need to sleep. :/ ill feel better in morning. :/
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • Invisible_meInvisible_me Posts: 291 The Mix Regular
    eylah wrote: »
    mh team dont care police dont care. i give up with calling ppl for help. :/ tried contacting helplines but they dont care. im safe im just tired lol i just need to sleep. :/ ill feel better in morning. :/

    It's so hard when you try and reach out for help and it feels like it's a losing battle! Uts a shame you feel like they don't care about you but you do matter @eylah .
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    edited March 11
    i am back at home and feel much better. had a warm shower and now im of to bed. :)
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Champion Posts: 1,396 Wise Owl
    eylah wrote: »
    mh team dont care police dont care. i give up with calling ppl for help. :/ tried contacting helplines but they dont care. im safe im just tired lol i just need to sleep. :/ ill feel better in morning. :/

    i’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. it sounds like you’ve been reaching out for help and just getting shut down, which is incredibly frustrating and disheartening. you deserve support, and i hate that it feels like no one is listening right now.

    i know you say you’re safe, and i believe you, but i also know that feeling this exhausted, mentally and emotionally, can be really tough to sit with. you don’t have to go through this alone, though. even if the “official” places aren’t giving you what you need, we do care, and we’re here for you.

    it’s okay to just rest for now if that’s what you need. you deserve support, even if it doesn’t always feel like it, and i’ll be here to listen, no matter what - im proud of you eylah <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    thankyou @shannon_164 <3

    had 1 hour of sleep bc ive struggled to get to sleep and stay asleep. but i reached out to samaritans last night and the lady was so lovely. her name was jenny and she was rly kind. but i spoke to out of hours and spoke to someone called shannon but they didn’t rly seem to care abt me so that hurt but im dreading today bc it’s my hip mri scan and im having needles into my hips. :( it was 111 option 2.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,913 Extreme Poster
    just wanted to say i'm so proud of you @eylah - even if it doesn't feel that good, you're being so strong and resilient. it's also good to see you're reaching out when you need it and getting the support you need.

    hopefully the rest of the week is okay for you and we are all here for you too :blush:
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    thankyou <3

    i did the mri it was sore but i did it had a little cry during it bc it hurt but i managed it. proud of myself. feel like reaching out to a helpline but idk lol.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 3,491 Boards Guru
    edited March 11
    eylah wrote: »
    thankyou <3

    i did the mri it was sore but i did it had a little cry during it bc it hurt but i managed it. proud of myself. feel like reaching out to a helpline but idk lol.

    Im glad to hear you're proud of yourself @eylah youre so strong with what you've been growing through and you're a great person you have a lot to be proud of. We are always here for you ❤️
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,607 Boards Guru
    Well done @eylah sending hugs <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    got my appt tmr for my sh that im dreading bc i might need surgery and im scared bc of it. appreciate you all like always.
    im just sat here crying bc im feeling rly overwhelmed and its a long journey tmr which im rly not looking forward to. have to get on 2 trains and might not be huge for other ppl but trains trigger me bc of past trauma but im trying to settle down so i can hopefully go to sleep in next few hours bc im tired. :/
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    have to leave for the train in 3 hours and im scared so much and noone understands how scary this is. :/ im hoping nothing serious comes out this appt and im hoping theyre not judgemental bc i want to lie abt how this occurred but its bc i dont want to say it’s bc of sh. :/ im just wanting to go to sleep and wish this day would end already. :/ i hate myself i hate my life i hate everything. :(
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • shannon_164shannon_164 Community Champion Posts: 1,396 Wise Owl
    hey @eylah 🙂

    that sounds really overwhelming, and i’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. i know it’s scary, but you’re not alone, we’re all here for you. i really hope the appointment goes ok and that they’re understanding. you don’t have to explain anything you’re not comfortable with, and you deserve kindness no matter what.

    you’ve got this, i believe in you <3
  • Invisible_meInvisible_me Posts: 291 The Mix Regular
    eylah wrote: »
    have to leave for the train in 3 hours and im scared so much and noone understands how scary this is. :/ im hoping nothing serious comes out this appt and im hoping theyre not judgemental bc i want to lie abt how this occurred but its bc i dont want to say it’s bc of sh. :/ im just wanting to go to sleep and wish this day would end already. :/ i hate myself i hate my life i hate everything. :(

    I really hope this has gone well for you! Catching 2 trains to go to an appt soubsa like ans quite consuming, I can hear why your so overwhelmed! Do they know you fins getting there overwhelming, is there anything they can do to support you ie closer venue?
    Just knkw that you deserve support and you will get throigh this!
  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    thankyou all i didnt know you guys replied to here but rly apprciate you all <3. yesterday was rly hard and today is getting difficult. i have a operation tmr ( only a minor op ) but i wont be able to do anything from tmr and im just scared bc i have noone to help me :( but went to my last cmht appt today which was rly sad and i cried bc im gonna miss them like hell. im just wanting to distract myself but idk how to. just watching youtube bc i have nothing else to do.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,913 Extreme Poster
    fingers crossed the operation goes nice and smoothly for you and that the recovery is as stress free as it can be. you've been so strong through everything you've gone through and i know you will be throught his too. we're all here for you :3
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