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In tears ๐ญ
River
Community Connector Posts: 4,816 The Mix Elder
I am safe and not in crisis
Why the hell am I alive like seriously if Iโm such a failure and a disappointment. Clearly Iโm not human and clearly Iโve failed at being; a student, a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a sibling, a perosn. Been screamed at so much tonight itโs fucking painful, in tears and feel like trash.
I went on a walk to try clear my head but ended up crying the whole time ๐ I just i donโt know why I bother anymore, why I try. This is just to much. Why canโt people see Iโm trying, why do people just see me as not human. Just want to be hugged and held endlessly and told that itโs okay even tho itโs not. This is so hard and the pain is just painful
Why am I living a shitty worthless life that wouldnโt even matter if I hadnโt of been born in. Just want this pain to end, the mental and physical pain ๐ canโt the summer holidays be over and then Iโll be alone all day everyday to just endlessly sob without having to make sure I stay quiet ๐
When will this pain end, when can I live a life that I want, when can I cut my โfamilyโ off. My birth โfamilyโ was shit and this โfamilyโ is just shit
Why the hell am I alive like seriously if Iโm such a failure and a disappointment. Clearly Iโm not human and clearly Iโve failed at being; a student, a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a sibling, a perosn. Been screamed at so much tonight itโs fucking painful, in tears and feel like trash.
I went on a walk to try clear my head but ended up crying the whole time ๐ I just i donโt know why I bother anymore, why I try. This is just to much. Why canโt people see Iโm trying, why do people just see me as not human. Just want to be hugged and held endlessly and told that itโs okay even tho itโs not. This is so hard and the pain is just painful
Why am I living a shitty worthless life that wouldnโt even matter if I hadnโt of been born in. Just want this pain to end, the mental and physical pain ๐ canโt the summer holidays be over and then Iโll be alone all day everyday to just endlessly sob without having to make sure I stay quiet ๐
When will this pain end, when can I live a life that I want, when can I cut my โfamilyโ off. My birth โfamilyโ was shit and this โfamilyโ is just shit
โจ โ ๐ถ๐ ๐ท๐๐ถ๐โฏ. โ ๐ถ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐พ๐โฏ๐น. โ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฝโด ๐พ๐ ๐โฏ๐ถ๐๐ ๐โด ๐ทโฏ โจ
โจ ๐ฏโโ๐ฎ โ๐ฎ โณโฐ โจ
โจ ๐ฏโโ๐ฎ โ๐ฎ โณโฐ โจ
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Comments
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I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time, and I wanted to reach out to let you know that I see you and your feelings
It's completely valid to feel drained when your home doesn't feel like a safe and loving environment - it can have a huge impact on your mental health. You don't deserve to be screamed at and you deserve to be hugged, held, and respected.
I know it might feel like there's no way out right now, but I promise you, things will get better with time. It may sound like a clichรฉ, but one day you'll be able to choose the people you allow into your life and distance yourself from those who don't treat you as you deserve. Please do keep us updated with how you're doing? We love hearing from you
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Is there anything comforting you could do today to look after yourself? Personally, I always binge-watch comfort shows when I feel rubbish. My personal fave is Modern Family!
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