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In tears 😭
Rose113
Community Connector Posts: 3,115 Boards Guru
I am safe and not in crisis
Why the hell am I alive like seriously if I’m such a failure and a disappointment. Clearly I’m not human and clearly I’ve failed at being; a student, a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a sibling, a perosn. Been screamed at so much tonight it’s fucking painful, in tears and feel like trash.
I went on a walk to try clear my head but ended up crying the whole time 💔 I just i don’t know why I bother anymore, why I try. This is just to much. Why can’t people see I’m trying, why do people just see me as not human. Just want to be hugged and held endlessly and told that it’s okay even tho it’s not. This is so hard and the pain is just painful
Why am I living a shitty worthless life that wouldn’t even matter if I hadn’t of been born in. Just want this pain to end, the mental and physical pain 💔 can’t the summer holidays be over and then I’ll be alone all day everyday to just endlessly sob without having to make sure I stay quiet 😔
When will this pain end, when can I live a life that I want, when can I cut my “family” off. My birth “family” was shit and this “family” is just shit
Why the hell am I alive like seriously if I’m such a failure and a disappointment. Clearly I’m not human and clearly I’ve failed at being; a student, a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a sibling, a perosn. Been screamed at so much tonight it’s fucking painful, in tears and feel like trash.
I went on a walk to try clear my head but ended up crying the whole time 💔 I just i don’t know why I bother anymore, why I try. This is just to much. Why can’t people see I’m trying, why do people just see me as not human. Just want to be hugged and held endlessly and told that it’s okay even tho it’s not. This is so hard and the pain is just painful
Why am I living a shitty worthless life that wouldn’t even matter if I hadn’t of been born in. Just want this pain to end, the mental and physical pain 💔 can’t the summer holidays be over and then I’ll be alone all day everyday to just endlessly sob without having to make sure I stay quiet 😔
When will this pain end, when can I live a life that I want, when can I cut my “family” off. My birth “family” was shit and this “family” is just shit
Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
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Comments
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time, and I wanted to reach out to let you know that I see you and your feelings
It's completely valid to feel drained when your home doesn't feel like a safe and loving environment - it can have a huge impact on your mental health. You don't deserve to be screamed at and you deserve to be hugged, held, and respected.
I know it might feel like there's no way out right now, but I promise you, things will get better with time. It may sound like a cliché, but one day you'll be able to choose the people you allow into your life and distance yourself from those who don't treat you as you deserve. Please do keep us updated with how you're doing? We love hearing from you
Is there anything comforting you could do today to look after yourself? Personally, I always binge-watch comfort shows when I feel rubbish. My personal fave is Modern Family!