im dealing with a lot rn my mum my ex bf and my dad etc. i feel really awful its all to much for me rn. i am doing my best im doing everything i can to stay okay for mum as shes in hospital in icu. im fighting every day but its so hard. im 3 weeks sh free but every day thats getting so so hard. i feel such a let down. i feel like im ruining my family’s life but its so so hard. idk what i can do to make it better but i feel like its all climbed on top of me and im crashing down. i feel like i dont have a reason to get better. but i am trying to get better even though i dont see a future for myself. i have no ambitions or nothing. i hate myself sm. im so fed up with everything in my life. i feel like no one can see how much im trying. bc i am trying but no one can see the strength im putting into my life and to keep going for my mum. i feel so so sad and upset abt my life and myself. it actually hurts.

im so useless.