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Struggling
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Posts: 0 Community Veteran
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The constant struggle you described, the anxieties, the fear, and the losses you've experienced - all of that takes a massive toll on your wellbeing- you must feel so tired at the moment. It's perfectly okay not to be okay right now, and you deserve so much credit for being so brave to open up about how difficult things have been
Everything can feel overwhelming at once, so let's focus on what you can control. You mentioned results day causing a lot of anxiety. Maybe we can brainstorm some ways to manage that anxiety in the coming weeks? Is there anything The Mix can do running up to results day to support you? We were considering running a pre and post results day chat.
Sending hugs to you
p.s - love your new photo!
You mentioned feeling like you're constantly on high alert and fearing loss, and that's a heavy burden to carry. It’s important to acknowledge your strength in managing these feelings as best as you can. You're doing really well despite the circumstances you've been put in. It's okay to take things one step at a time and be gentle with yourself.
It's positive to hear that a pre/post exam results day chat could be helpful - I've posted a poll to get an idea of what results people are waiting for so we can see what days would be best for us to run these support groups. We are all here for you and much of the community are going through similar emotions - exams are stressful and they do hold a lot of weight. But please remember that despite this, they aren't the be all and end all. You can and will do amazing things with your life despite your exam results.
It’s clear how deeply you’re hurting, Chloe. It’s okay to feel this way, and it’s okay to want to distance yourself. Sometimes, when everything feels overwhelming, it’s natural to want to shut everything out. You mentioned struggling to sleep at night, which must be incredibly exhausting. How have you been coping with these sleepless nights? Are there any night-time routines that help even a little bit? For me, getting back into a routine of doing some skincare and listening to music before bed can help calm me down before bed, especially during times where I'm feeling really anxious. Going through the motions of the usual routine I find can usually help me feel more grounded.
It's also understandable that you feel defeated by everything you’re experiencing. I know surfing was a good escape for you so it's tough to hear you say that you're losing motivation for these things. Do you think there might be smaller, more manageable activities that could provide a bit of relief until you can get back to surfing? That could be things like your diamond art.
I hear your worries about the weekend with your friends. It’s normal to feel anxious about masking your feelings. It might be helpful to think through what they would say if they knew how much you're struggling. Sometimes sharing even a little bit can lessen the burden.
It sounds like you’re feeling a lot of shame and self-consciousness about your eating and your scars too - gosh there's so much going on for you, Chloe. It's completely understandable to feel this way, especially when dealing with so many other stressors. You mentioned feeling invalid because some scars are fading while others stand out more. This must be really conflicting and hard to cope with. It’s important to remember that your scars don’t define your worth or your journey. Each scar tells a part of your story and your strength in facing difficult times. How did you feel when you were more unbothered by your scars? Are there any ways you can try to recapture some of that feeling?
The situation with your dad and money sounds really stressful. You are so thoughtful and considerate about his feelings. Maybe finding a moment to talk to him about you're feeling without adding to his stress and finding a small way to support each other could help both of you feel a bit better. It sounds like you're really longing for a parent who can offer you unconditional support and love. It’s so hard when that’s missing from your life. It's worth saying that you're not alone in this - families in particular can be complex and pretty toxic sometimes. It's something so many of us will relate to. Know that you belong right here with us.
You really deserve a break, Chloe, and a hug that makes everything feel okay, even if just for a moment. Is there anything you could do today to bring you a little comfort?
I hope you find some moments of peace and remember that it’s okay to ask for help. You deserve support and care, and there are people who want to help you through this. If you are struggling with your safety, please do reach out to these services below who would love to support you:
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
Childline | call 0800 11 11
Sending lots of strength
It's okay to feel shaken up - you have the right to feel safe wherever you go and I'm sorry it didin't feel like that yesterday, especially when it was pride day. I'm glad you had your friends around you and that you'll be with friends again today.
Let us know how your beach day goes
Hey chloe! im here for you, only a message away, if you need anyone to talk to im always here x
It sounds like she’s trying to take care of you but that’s a massively insensitive way to go about it. I’m so sorry. It sounds like she doesn’t understand how hard sensory issues can be.
Have you tried spray suncream? It’s kind of sticky but it feels different to the proper creamy stuff.
@Chloe234 Just wanted to add I saw online that some people use a hack where they use a makeup brush to apply it - I'm not sure if that might help you? Seems to result in quite even coverage as well. Just make sure to reapply regularly.
I'm totally with you on the suncream though I struggle with it a bit too - in the meantime maybe make sure you're staying conscious of the sun/stay in the shade at times to avoid burning. If you do get sun burned I've found it quite useful to use things like herbal creams to soothe the skin and quicken the healing process.
I've added a link to a boots product which actually has suncream and a brush applicator as a set which I found - there are probably cheaper ones available but just wanted to give you an idea of what I was meaning
https://boots.com/hawaiian-tropic-mineral-sun-protection-powder-brush-spf30-4g-10305837?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc-_-PLAs_HeroCompare-_--_-PMax:+UK_Smart_Shopping_Suncare&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwh7K1BhCZARIsAKOrVqGdg-Em-8-SVAiPNC6l5dTMcLfRoy1e2CDUzeOb3yTvFehueqQpxYQaApuQEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Like @AnonymousToe suggested spray lotion could also be a good alternative.
Hope you find something that works for you!