I've been freaking out (long post)

Please allow me if this is getting extremely
repetitive now but I feel like this is atleast a bit helpful venting here and I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed tonight with all this, I just feel like I need to repeat to give extent. This is extremely personal so I wasn’t going to post this but I know Im not going to be judged here. I been feeling really worried lately because I'm on a program to help me get work. When I first joined, I got a course funded for me because I wasn't working, but I didn't do well in the course. Everything was looking good, and then I messed it up. Today at my appointment, it was brought up why I struggled with the course. They also mentioned my confidence issues and other stuff. It was suggested that I might have a learning disability, which is scary. I was on the SEN statement in school, meaning I was in lower sets and had a teaching assistant sometimes. I also had annual reviews every year with my parents and staff, similar to parents' evening but just for me. In college, I was on the EHC plan with annual reviews there as well. So, I mentioned that at the appointment today.

They asked if I have learning difficulties. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, I was just put on a SEN statement in nursery and it carried on through school. I've always been extremely scared to check if I have a learning disability, so I never looked into it properly or got a diagnosis. I have had an idea for a few years that I might have one, but I've been too scared to look into it. I struggled with the forklift truck course while everyone else did fine. I've had similar struggles in the past, like with school exams and education in general. After today's meeting, I looked more into learning difficulties and realized it might be possible considering what was said.

I found that employment can be a big issue for people with learning difficulties. Apparently, a lot of people with learning difficulties are unemployed because employers can be discriminatory. This information has made me worry even more about my future. I'm scared that if I do have a learning difficulty, I might end up unemployed long-term or even permanently. I'm worried that if I get a job, I'll get sacked for not being capable or that employers won't give me a chance. I spoke about this in another thread, but seeing this information today has stressed me out. My palms are sweating while I type this because I'm so scared about not getting sorted long-term. I don't want to be in this position in 6 months or a year. I feel like I'm running out of time even though I know I'm not.

I just want to find and keep a job soon. I feel like I'm running out of time, but I know I have my whole life ahead of me. It's just not ideal for it to take years to get an entry-level job. I haven't heard of anyone taking years to get a job. I really don't want to be in this position much longer because it's not good for me, and I'm going to lose hope. I thought I was going to get sorted, but just seeing the website about people with learning difficulties wanting to work but not getting the chance has increased my fear.

I've always worried about my future. When I was younger, I used to worry that I'd become homeless. I used to go to a shopping place with my family where there were a lot of homeless people, and it scared me that I might end up like that. These worries have stuck with me, and seeing information online today has made me freak out. No job means no money, so how will I fund basic necessities? I want to be as far from that point as possible. I want to be working and not just for basic essentials. I want nice things, to achieve goals, to get a girlfriend, and eventually have a kid. I want a good quality life.

I don't want to sound selfish saying I want this and that, but I'm sure many people feel the same way. I'm just trying to be ambitious. I believe I'll get to that point, but all these fears are putting me down and scaring me. Once I get a job I think I'll feel I'll feel more confident about my future proving my fears wrong and make them disappear then I can work towards my goals. I might just need someone who can support me further just to see what job is suitable, possibly by a few weeks placements in a role seeing if it's a match and getting into that role. The programme I'm on currently didn't know I was on the EHC plan or the SEN statement so I told them and they said I should have been put on a more suitable programme but they said they might be able to get me the more suitable support I need. I just want to get sorted. I just need a bit of extra help.

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Former Member

Hey mate.

You’re not being repetitive at all. You're going through a lot so it's fine to need to vent and get support. Things like this don't get better overnight, so don't be hard on yourself for needing to talk about it more.

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stress and uncertainty. I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this

If you think you might have a learning disability, there’s no pressure but looking into it might be helpful. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Knowing more about it can help you understand yourself better and then you might bbe less hard on yourself. It could also open up opportunities for support and accommodations that you might not have known about. But like I said, there’s no pressure and you can do it in your own time

I can really relate to feeling like your challenges might hold you back. I haven’t really talked about it much, but I have a disability too. I have ADHD and I’m deaf. There’s definitely been times when it’s been tough, and I've felt worried about my future. I know that me sharing that doesn’t help your situation but I hope it reassured you that you’re not alone. It’s natural to think ahead and worry about our future when we have things which have the potential to hold us back. The good news is that there are laws in the UK that are to protect people with disabilities (including learning disabilities) from discrimination.

I know it’s scary to think about the future, especially when you see statistics and information that can be discouraging. But sure everyone’s paths are different and just because things are challenging now doesn’t mean they always will be.

It's really good to hear that you're already on a programme to help you find work. It sounds like they’re starting to understand your needs better, and hopefully, they'll get you the support that’s more suited to you. Finding the right support and understanding your own needs can make a huge difference.

If you ever need to talk more about it or just want someone to listen, we’re here. You're not alone in this, and I really believe you have the resilience to get through. You’re a great, hardworking fella. These things that are holding you back, they’re not your fault. You’ll get there.

Redemption

Slinky wrote: »

Hey mate.

You’re not being repetitive at all. You're going through a lot so it's fine to need to vent and get support. Things like this don't get better overnight, so don't be hard on yourself for needing to talk about it more.

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stress and uncertainty. I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this If you think you might have a learning disability, there’s no pressure but looking into it might be helpful. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Knowing more about it can help you understand yourself better and then you might bbe less hard on yourself. It could also open up opportunities for support and accommodations that you might not have known about. But like I said, there’s no pressure and you can do it in your own time

I can really relate to feeling like your challenges might hold you back. I haven’t really talked about it much, but I have a disability too. I have ADHD and I’m deaf. There’s definitely been times when it’s been tough, and I've felt worried about my future. I know that me sharing that doesn’t help your situation but I hope it reassured you that you’re not alone. It’s natural to think ahead and worry about our future when we have things which have the potential to hold us back. The good news is that there are laws in the UK that are to protect people with disabilities (including learning disabilities) from discrimination.

I know it’s scary to think about the future, especially when you see statistics and information that can be discouraging. But sure everyone’s paths are different and just because things are challenging now doesn’t mean they always will be.

It's really good to hear that you're already on a programme to help you find work. It sounds like they’re starting to understand your needs better, and hopefully, they'll get you the support that’s more suited to you. Finding the right support and understanding your own needs can make a huge difference.

If you ever need to talk more about it or just want someone to listen, we’re here. You're not alone in this, and I really believe you have the resilience to get through. You’re a great, hardworking fella. These things that are holding you back, they’re not your fault. You’ll get there.

@Slinky I appreciate all of that bro, especially you talking about your disabilities, I think it takes a lot to do that and you said that to support me. There isn't anything to be ashamed of for any disabilities, everyone should be equal and it's disgusting to treat someone negative or belittle someone or anything for disabilities. Unfortunately there's cruel people out there who discriminate, belittle etc. It's illegal to discriminate with someone with disabilities but some employers still do it, I was also thinking like companies or managers can discriminate against someone for example reject or sack someone because of a disability but they can pretend they did it for another reason. For example I had a college where I started the course then a few days later they kicked me off saying minor reasons but really I suspect years later I think they saw I was on an SEN statement and kicked me off because of that as at the time I didnt do anything that bad to reasonably kick me off. I guess no point worrying about the past though but it's still not easy. I will get to the point where I want to be though, I just need the right support. I will keep posting here whenever needed too, thanks so much.

Former Member

Hello @TheNightmare
Thank you for opening up to us about your job search and how that is making you feel.
I second what @Slinky wrote - you're not alone and you'll get where you're supposed to be at your own pace

I understand you do not have a formal diagnosis and that you might not have a learning disability even though you are part of a SEN program, however if in the future you'll want to get one or explore the issue further mencap might be a great place to start for advice. They also have a page with resources about jobseeking with a learning disability: https://www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/employment

Keep us updated and don't worry about being repetitive, we're always here for support

ameliaJayne

@TheNightmare I think it is so courageous of you to share your story with us. Thank you for that.

I would like to start off by saying of course you don't have to look at getting a diagnosis if you don't want to but here are a list of some of the benefits:
-access to resources and support
-enhanced self esteem (understanding that challenges are due to a diagnosed disability rather than lack of ability)
-tailored job training and career development
-community and peer support (like through support groups)
-improved academic and career outcomes due to the extra support and resources

I think it is also worth mentioning that you should have no fears when applying for a job with a diagnosed learning disability as the law states "The Equality Act 2010 builds on the previous Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) and makes it unlawful for an employer to discriminate against disabled people".

I totally sympathise with you that this can be scary journey. You are doing an amazing job so far. Keep talking to friends or family and keep us updated with everything on The Mix. We will be here for you every step of the way no matter what choices you make.

Redemption

genderless_fungi wrote: »

Hello @TheNightmare
Thank you for opening up to us about your job search and how that is making you feel.
I second what @Slinky wrote - you're not alone and you'll get where you're supposed to be at your own pace
I understand you do not have a formal diagnosis and that you might not have a learning disability even though you are part of a SEN program, however if in the future you'll want to get one or explore the issue further mencap might be a great place to start for advice. They also have a page with resources about jobseeking with a learning disability: https://www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/employment

Keep us updated and don't worry about being repetitive, we're always here for support

@genderless_fungi
Thanks a lot for your reply and all of that, I'll have a look at that link too.

Redemption

ameliaJayne wrote: »

@TheNightmare I think it is so courageous of you to share your story with us. Thank you for that.

I would like to start off by saying of course you don't have to look at getting a diagnosis if you don't want to but here are a list of some of the benefits:
-access to resources and support
-enhanced self esteem (understanding that challenges are due to a diagnosed disability rather than lack of ability)
-tailored job training and career development
-community and peer support (like through support groups)
-improved academic and career outcomes due to the extra support and resources

I think it is also worth mentioning that you should have no fears when applying for a job with a diagnosed learning disability as the law states "The Equality Act 2010 builds on the previous Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) and makes it unlawful for an employer to discriminate against disabled people".

I totally sympathise with you that this can be scary journey. You are doing an amazing job so far. Keep talking to friends or family and keep us updated with everything on The Mix. We will be here for you every step of the way no matter what choices you make.

@ameliaJayne thanks a lot, I appreciate it, it did take a lot of hesitation to make it as its a personal issue, I was also considering getting it removed in the morning tbh, only because it's so personal but I knew everyone who replied would be understanding. The benefits of a diagnosis are good from what you've said. I know it's illegal to discriminate against people with learning difficulties but as I was saying to Slinky, I feel like employers might decline or sack me and the employer could not explain thats why they declined me. I saw a site saying a really high percentage of people are out of work due to their learning difficulties as they haven't had the chance, that's what scared me. I think I had a difficulty in college, I think they saw I was on the SEN statement in school and discriminated against me because of that, I probably won't ever have a way to prove that but Im sure I got kicked off their course unreasonably, it was years ago, it doesn't matter now but I was just using that as an example. I guess there's disability confident employers which I have seen when applying too so that might give an extra bit of reassurance that they won't discriminate. I'm not sure weather I'll be ready to get a diagnosis but either way I should get sorted.

I appreciate the positive words just saying I'm doing amazing and reading you're all here for me means a lot because I have felt the opposite of amazing at times and I have felt alone so hearing I have a whole community behind me for support means a lot honesty. I have seen similar comments many times here and quite often it's nearly sent me feeling emotional as in made me cry. Thanks so much.

ella

@TheNightmare you have done so well for sharing all this- how does it feel to have that off your chest? It sounds like you've been going through a lot lately, and it's completely understandable that you'd be feeling overwhelmed and scared. As someone with ADHD, I really do understand how daunting this might feel for you

It's so great that you're on a program to help you find work, and it's really brave of you to be open about your access needs in the course. It's also a positive step that you mentioned your past learning difficulties to the program. Now they can offer more targeted support to help you access equal opportunities

Finding out about learning disabilities and employment can be scary, but knowledge is always power with these things so you know how to advocate for yourself. Just a few thoughts:

- You could talk to your program coordinator about what kind of support they can offer for people with learning disabilities.
- Finding the right job can take some time, but there are resources and organisations available! There's this great organisation called EvenBreak (https://www.evenbreak.co.uk/jobs/) that specialises in making employment more accessible for disabled people. They might be a helpful resource in your job search- breaking down some of those barriers you might find more tricky.

Hope this helps

Millie2787

Hi Nightmare ,

If you currently have an EHCP Mencap and under 25 they run a supported internship programme in some areas. They work with you within a job setting suited to what you may like to do - So potentially warehouse work. In the beginning a job coach supports you in the job and then over the year they take a step back. The Aim is to hopefully have you with an offer of employment at the end of the years programme.

They also do some classroom work once a week which teach you the social skills needed to be in a work setting, alongside other key adult like skills.

https://www.mencap.org.uk/help-and-advice/mencap-training-academy

Redemption

ella wrote: »

@TheNightmare you have done so well for sharing all this- how does it feel to have that off your chest? It sounds like you've been going through a lot lately, and it's completely understandable that you'd be feeling overwhelmed and scared. As someone with ADHD, I really do understand how daunting this might feel for you

It's so great that you're on a program to help you find work, and it's really brave of you to be open about your access needs in the course. It's also a positive step that you mentioned your past learning difficulties to the program. Now they can offer more targeted support to help you access equal opportunities

Finding out about learning disabilities and employment can be scary, but knowledge is always power with these things so you know how to advocate for yourself. Just a few thoughts:

- You could talk to your program coordinator about what kind of support they can offer for people with learning disabilities.
- Finding the right job can take some time, but there are resources and organisations available! There's this great organisation called EvenBreak (https://www.evenbreak.co.uk/jobs/) that specialises in making employment more accessible for disabled people. They might be a helpful resource in your job search- breaking down some of those barriers you might find more tricky.

Hope this helps

@ella it definitely isn't easy, I'm glad it's recognised but it's easier here as I knew I wouldn't be judged. What you're saying is good advice and I appreciate it all. I just probably need the right support, I need to talk to them like you said and just need help getting into the right place.

Redemption

Millie2787 wrote: »

Hi Nightmare ,

If you currently have an EHCP Mencap and under 25 they run a supported internship programme in some areas. They work with you within a job setting suited to what you may like to do - So potentially warehouse work. In the beginning a job coach supports you in the job and then over the year they take a step back. The Aim is to hopefully have you with an offer of employment at the end of the years programme.

They also do some classroom work once a week which teach you the social skills needed to be in a work setting, alongside other key adult like skills.

https://www.mencap.org.uk/help-and-advice/mencap-training-academy

Hi millie

That's a good idea, I will have a look into that. It sounds helpful from what you're saying. Thanks so much for replying.