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I want to escape from myself

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Hopefully there’ll be some more support for you at college too, but all you need to do right now is survive. Exams are hard, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re feeling worse because of all the stress and everything you’ve been through this year. That certainly happens to me at least. I know being stuck inside makes me feel miserable, so could you just spend some time in the garden or something? Do you walk your dog? I guess that’s a good excuse to get out the house every day. I know it’s not like a major help but getting out and doing something makes me feel slightly better.
Have you got some distractions? Just a video game or something on TV, or literally anything to distract you and pass the time so you can make it to September. Your dad sounds so hard to live with. I would hope that your dad did care when you were in hospital, and was just in shock or something. But I promise you are important, and I’m glad you’re here.
Big hugs
It might be a good idea to see if you can get referred to CAMHS if you think it can give you the support you need - it's definitely worth trying and seeing what comes from it.
I know it's hard having lost the school support since leaving - it's a major change where you ultimately feel on your own again.
As for distractions, is there anything new that you're interested in trying or doing that you haven't done so far that could be accessible to you and easy to do? - it doesn't have to be anything big, just something that can take your mind of things for a bit.
Remember you can come to us on here whenever you need to and we all love you and value you as a member of the community.
Sending you a big hug
Sinead