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Feeling left out and virginity
Past User
Posts: 0 Just got here
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It's also understandable that discussions about relationships and personal experiences might not be inclusive of everyone present. People often share experiences that are relevant to them at the moment, and it doesn't necessarily mean they are intentionally excluding you. Although maybe you could consider expressing your feelings to your friends. Your friends may not be aware of the impact their conversations had on you. They might be more than willing to include you or make an effort to be mindful next time.
^^This was so lovely to read and is so true! It's great that you have a positive self-awareness about your qualities and worth. Your kindness, sensitivity, hard work, creativity, and passion for design are valuable attributes. Remember that everyone's journey is different, and the timing of certain experiences, such as relationships and intimacy, varies for each of us. There is no right time.
It's really sad to hear that you feel restricted due to your dad's comment. I would say though, you have to make decisions based on your own comfort and readiness, rather than external pressures or comments. Remember that you are not alone in your experiences, and there are many people who value and appreciate you for who you are.
I've just moved your post into the S&R forum so that you can get the best support
The large majority of girls (of all levels of experience) have a strong preference for highly experienced lovers, so don't tell them that you're sexually inexperienced. It'd make it even more difficult for you to get anywhere with them. Sexually inexperienced lads are very often mistreated when they get into relationships, because his GF knows that she has power over him. She knows he's unappealing, with low self-esteem & few options. A Chad can get as many girls as he wants, whenever he wants, so he won't suffer being treated badly. A sexually inexperienced guy doesn't have those options, so he's more likely to suffer it. Also, she'll likely say that the way she's treating him is usual for a relationship & he can't know it's not because he doesn't have experience to know it's not.
Sex is great & important, but getting it once won't usually open the door to frequent sex. You could be waiting a long time before your second sex session. Sex often happens with little notice beforehand, so always carry a condom. You don't want to jump straight from being a virgin to being a father! I'm not going to claim anything like "you'll get sex when the time is right" or "Miss Perfect will arrive soon" because those claims are untrue. It's been the right time for me to have sex every day since I was 13, but I had to wait years & I've had sex with only about 1% of the girls I've been attracted to.
I see from your profile that you're a uni student. Many people claim that being at university is like being at an orgy; sex with a different girl every week. However, it's only like that for a lucky small minority of the male students. The top 10 or 20 percent get the large majority of the girls. Most single lads get little or no sex. Young people now have less sex than at any time during the last 50 years.
I empathise & sympathise with being in your situation, which millions of lads are in. It took me years of spending a great deal of time, money & effort to get sex. I've been friendzoned, rejected & been on many dates which were disappointingly sexless. I've long wanted to get sex whilst single, yet I had to get into relationships I didn't want in order to get sex. I wish I could transform into a Chad, but it can't happen.
Glad you're OK and that your friends have been checking in with you, it's really hard to feel left out, whatever the reason
Sounds like your reasoning skills are really good - I know it's hard to get yourself to believe there are other reasons for things when you may feel so strongly a certain way, but naming and acknowledging them like you did here is really useful
but let this sink in
you do not have to fight by yourself
~ lyrics from Willow by The Little Unsaid
Being left out of a conversation is commonplace in a group of friends, classmates, colleagues etc. It sounds like you have good friends, which is a significant social asset.
I have a low rate of sexual success, so I'm not in a good position to give you advice about how to become successful. If you know someone who is successful, ask him for advice. However, what works for him likely won't work for you - especially if he has major advantages over you, such as looks, height, athleticism, charisma, popularity, wealth, a high body count etc.