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dreading friday
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sometimes you do things hat are really stupid and you know theyre stupid but do them anyway. Friday is gonna be a lot like that.
For the past few weeks I've been struggling really badly, infact longer than that. I don't want to repeat myself or bore anyone but Im getting worse.
I started a new job mid-June and its great. I get on really well with everyone and I love it. But at the same time my life outside work is non-existent. I feel fine when i'm working but as soon as I'm home I feel really bad. I've started drinking but now Im taking aspirin too. Not enough to kill me but enough to put me in pain for a couple of days and make my stomach bleed.
Anyway, I've been here before. That's how I started at christmas and I ended up in hospital.
It feels the same again. When I'm at work and I'm happy I feel like I can cope and then when I'm back home I feel suicidal. All I've got in my mind is wait till friday, then I'll drink a big bottle of vodka and take another large aspirin overdose. I don't want to die. In fact I wanna do it on friday so i can be back at work on monday.
My mind changes every five mins if i want to do it or not but then i've been here before and gone through with it before.
I need distracting away from my feelings but there's nothing to distract my mind!
________
PRILOSEC ATTORNEY
For the past few weeks I've been struggling really badly, infact longer than that. I don't want to repeat myself or bore anyone but Im getting worse.
I started a new job mid-June and its great. I get on really well with everyone and I love it. But at the same time my life outside work is non-existent. I feel fine when i'm working but as soon as I'm home I feel really bad. I've started drinking but now Im taking aspirin too. Not enough to kill me but enough to put me in pain for a couple of days and make my stomach bleed.
Anyway, I've been here before. That's how I started at christmas and I ended up in hospital.
It feels the same again. When I'm at work and I'm happy I feel like I can cope and then when I'm back home I feel suicidal. All I've got in my mind is wait till friday, then I'll drink a big bottle of vodka and take another large aspirin overdose. I don't want to die. In fact I wanna do it on friday so i can be back at work on monday.
My mind changes every five mins if i want to do it or not but then i've been here before and gone through with it before.
I need distracting away from my feelings but there's nothing to distract my mind!
________
PRILOSEC ATTORNEY
0
Comments
Take care
Amy
I swing. I'm either totally normal and happy or extremely suicidal. When I feel suicidal all I want to do is harm myself and when i'm happy I have no need to seek help cos I'm fine.
I hate living like this.
One day I'm gonna O.D. and they wont be able to help me n i'm gonna die, n i dont want to and its gonna shock everyone that knows me n it'll kill my mum but I can't stop it!
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Love Lyrics Dicussion
The best thing would be to go to the doctor again and they will be able to help you sort out a councillor or something.
Take care
Amy
Dude, seriously, you really shouldn't be saying stuff like that when you don't know the whole story. Some people could get in a real panic about that kinda thing.
With the antidepressants thing, i did actually take em normally for a month but they made me feel worse because i hated myself for going agaist my own principles. Im fighting from several corners at once so I confuse myself.
I think you're right about the victim thing but I think I get sucked into that role a lot because of past experiences.
I'm feeling a lot better now but God knows how long it'll last. I know what I need long term to get through this but its surviving the day-to-day up until i get to those stages that's the problem. When Im ok, things are great but when Im not Im really bad and my life is in danger every time i slip into one of those moods!
It's hard for me to know what to do because my feelings and reactions to those feelings change so rapidly. I might feel like I dont need help now, but in a few hours I might decide I need some sort of support then another hour later I'll be back to plotting the Over Dosing again!
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ZX14 VS HAYABUSA
Antidepressants take a while before they start to work, and you have to take them properly too, drinking alcohol while on antidepressants won't help either as the effects of the drink will counteract the effects of your drugs. They also won't work alone, you need to do some talking therapy too, to work to the root of the problem, the drugs are just to get you back on keel again so that that is possible.
If you feel you can't talk to your current GP ask to see someone else at your surgery.
Take care
Susie