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feeling ashamed of myself
downtherabbithole
Posts: 32 Boards Initiate
I'm feeling ashamed of myself. I feel entitled and greedy.
I was under the impression that we were struggling to get by each month. This is far from the truth. They have been saving a lot of money, and spending some of it on nice things for themselves. This morning I had found it very odd that my mum had allocated me £50 to spend on myself. It's a big amount to her. She said she'd given the same amount to everyone. I said I'd go away to think.
Throughout the day I'd been coming to her with ideas, but that I wasn't certain so she was not to put these things into the basket until I was sure. She would tell me that it's only for me, for fun money or something practical for myself. I come back, and she starts talking about what she's chosen on my behalf as well as something I had explicitly said to her as an idea, but not to put in as I hadn't decided. She said I have £19 left to choose something, but that she was about to put some pyjamas in the basket and that'd be me sorted.
I immediately started complaining. She revealed that she had allocated £100 to everyone in fun money or for practical items. And that actually I didn't have £50 left, I had £39 left, as she needed to get me a duvet for the winter. No one else needed practical items, and I'm the only one who doesn't get an income. Everyone except me get hundreds of pounds each month to spend or save on whatever they want as they get benefits, and this is a one off situation where I've been given a measly £39 in comparison on something for myself.
I was under the impression that we were struggling to get by each month. This is far from the truth. They have been saving a lot of money, and spending some of it on nice things for themselves. This morning I had found it very odd that my mum had allocated me £50 to spend on myself. It's a big amount to her. She said she'd given the same amount to everyone. I said I'd go away to think.
Throughout the day I'd been coming to her with ideas, but that I wasn't certain so she was not to put these things into the basket until I was sure. She would tell me that it's only for me, for fun money or something practical for myself. I come back, and she starts talking about what she's chosen on my behalf as well as something I had explicitly said to her as an idea, but not to put in as I hadn't decided. She said I have £19 left to choose something, but that she was about to put some pyjamas in the basket and that'd be me sorted.
I immediately started complaining. She revealed that she had allocated £100 to everyone in fun money or for practical items. And that actually I didn't have £50 left, I had £39 left, as she needed to get me a duvet for the winter. No one else needed practical items, and I'm the only one who doesn't get an income. Everyone except me get hundreds of pounds each month to spend or save on whatever they want as they get benefits, and this is a one off situation where I've been given a measly £39 in comparison on something for myself.
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I hope that I helped. I am not an expert on money but thought to give my two sense.
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i am getting harassed by my ex plus i am getting getting raped