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I'm ruining my friendship
SC1234
Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
I'm a terrible person for being so toxic... I know I'm the bad one in our relationship. I really love my friend yet I haven't been showing it in the right way. Here I am hoping that she will forgive me one more time, and that I will actually change for good so we won't be stuck in a constant loop of arguing and making up anymore. She deserves better than the current me. I love you man, and I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry to hear that you have been having arguments with your friend. I can imagine it must be very difficult to be in a regular cycle of falling out and talking through things. It's great though, that you feel that you want to make some changes to correct the situation and improve your relationship for the future. Thank you for having the confidence to share this with others in the discussion boards as I'm sure this must be quite a personal situation for you.
If you are willing to comment more, what steps do you feel you need to take to strengthen your friendship?
I think after so many cycles of arguments I'm just starting to understand the issue. Perhaps when we talk again I will be able to confirm whether what I'm thinking is on the same page. I just wish I see the point earlier, I would've started working on myself earlier and avoided all the conflicts we had.
I think my plan going forward is to ask a second friend to keep me accountable for what I'm doing, and if I feel the urge to revert back to who I was I will talk to them. This is the only concrete action I can think of now that can help me start improving. I just hope I do get another chance at this broken friendship... it's not me to determine if I should be forgiven again.
I understand what you mean when you say it's not your job to decide if you should be forgiven but perhaps you could be honest and explain to them how much they mean to you and how it would make you feel if you decided to part ways. Good luck!
Appreciate the encouragement. Thanks
Hello @SC1234 , you aren't a terrible person, if feels like you are but you aren't.
Sometimes falling out is natural ( me and my boyfriend fall out non stop ) but when it is so often then maybe it is often. having second chances are a good way to express the feelings that you and her might be feeling that might be causing the arguments and that maybe you guys can work behind the scenes and talk about the reasons and feeling and express them directly towards her but in a friendly way?
I get you love her and i admire that you had the strength to write this so well done sending hugs
Are you guys currently talking?
you're right it isn't you're job to recover a broken friendship, but it is a two man job not a one man/women job. If it is meant to be it will recover and i hope it does!
I think, given the story, having time apart will be best it will hurt not talking but generally i might beinift the situation. Then when you guys start talking again work hard don't over use yourself and keep cool then talk and recover the relationship!
I really bloody hope you are going to be okay, she sounds lovely and you are of course, keep going and it will recover just it won't happen straight away but waiting is the key to a broken friendship[,
sending hugs -
Summer
It's kinda hard to believe that I'm not at fault in all this, people have been telling me that I'm not that terrible of a person but it's hard to see it in my head... Thanks though, perhaps people have a point. And yea we are talking. I hope from hereon out things will only get better.
always here for you