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A Letter To Your Younger Self ๐Ÿ“œ๐Ÿ“ฎ

Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large AnchorSomewhere in the sea ๐ŸŒŠPosts: 1,190 Wise Owl
Continuing on from my seemingly obsessive "letter to" series, here's a space for you to write anything you want to your younger self.

I'm not gonna say anymore as I want all your letters to do the talking.

Posting letters like this for others to read can be really healing.

I plan to use this shortly, however it's late and tbh I need some sleep!
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LorryTruck

Comments

  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,393 Boards Champion
    Thanks @Anch0r33 It's a great idea.

    TW - mentions brief comment about suicide and self-harm

    To my younger self,
    You are a dickhead you know. I don't even know know how you could fuck up like that. How? How could you not see where that was going to lead you. Yes, some of the things what happens to you in the future is because of the way you act now. I mean, when did this all start, I think you were 9. 9 years old. Just because of what you saw. Everything went down hill. I mean, I'm sorry I wasn't there to baby you through it all, hold your hand and whisper, "don't do that", but still that's not an excuse for the way you treated some people. See, now I know what you did was wrong. I know you don't care though. All you want to do is take your anger out on other people. And I wonder where the fuck that got you. I really hate you. And I still do today. I cut you because you deserve it. You are to blame for everything that happened. What about when you were in Year 8? Do you remember what happened then? That was your fault too. If you weren't such an angry bitch that never would've happened. I want to kill you sometimes. You deserve that as well. Wow, you used to fucking punch walls until you realise that changed fuck all. Just gave you that attention that you didn't want. So now you cut yourself. And what for? Like why are you even alive? Seriously, you have had so many second chances you don't deserve, and you waste every single one of them.

    Urgh, I'm going to stop having a go at you, and show you some sympathy. Some people did give you unneeded shit. They hurt you in a way that you have never gotten over. All those lying people who tell you they are there for you, but we both know they're never there. You know, now I'm trying to stand up for myself. Those people who are supposed to help me but don't, I make sure they know I'm angry. I'm no longer afraid to speak my mind. They know you've been through trauma, but they act as if they don't give a shit. But we both give a shit. That why we sit together in a room, terrified, cradling a blade. We spend hours thinking about what happened to us. Blaming ourselves for what happened. But it wasn't our fault was it? The pain you feel in the future is something I wish that you don't have to feel. But you do feel it. I mean, there's a point where you are so suicidal that you almost do it, but you somehow had the strength not to. If you knew what was going to happen in the future would you?

    I'm really sorry for you. Next time I talk to you, hopefully you wouldn't have pissed me off so bad.

    Love,
    L
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonAnch0r33Zay
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea ๐ŸŒŠPosts: 1,190 Wise Owl
    Dear younger self,

    I guess it feels like it's difficult just now, you think about how things could possibly get worse and you can't imagine it worse than it is.

    Trust me, it gets worse. But also it gets better.

    You've done some amazing things in your life, specifically the past 11 years.

    You should've gone to high school more, I know it was tough but you really regret it now.

    You should've fought harder for yourself - with social work and your mental health specifically. You were just a kid but gosh if I could go back and have a do over that's what I'd change.

    Even though you somehow got to go abroad for a few years and meet some amazing people, you made mistakes over there too. I'm not sure what you did wrong but something happened over there.

    Younger self I know it's hard but it's worth the fight.

    You should've gone to training more often. You'd be kicking ass out there now.

    Somehow your school grades got you into a good uni - but imagine if you'd tried harder.

    So far you've been shit at uni but still got grades. Younger self why didn't you have more self belief?

    I'm not sure why you didn't do some of the things that went through your head.

    You didn't run away for long enough to get yourself support and help or attention. As usual you always took the easy way out.

    You didn't commit any crimes, which you know is great, but it would've got yourself some more support. The police would've been alerted to your situation sooner.

    Younger self you didn't draw enough attention to yourself to get yourself help soon enough.

    Gosh you were backed against a wall and what did you do? Nothing.

    And the one time you snapped after being bullied for years you ended up pinning someone against the wall and hitting their head off it in front of teachers. You were an idiot.

    Nobody helped you though when the signs were there. I don't blame you for that. I forgive you for not helping yourself. After all, you were just a kid.

    By the age of 14 you got the guts to do something about it, but social work didn't do enough to help you. Wow I really cannot blame you.

    I wish you'd committed more when you were abroad, and made the most of it. You really miss it now. I understand that you struggled though. You'd just gone into care and then got sent away, even if it was your choice, sometimes it just felt like it was easier to dump me on someone else.

    I got to experience a group home and a foster type home and dorms which very much helped me learn how to properly be a human. Even though you don't get care leaver status, you're still fighting for yourself now.

    Dear younger self, I guess you're doing alright for yourself now.
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    LorryTrucklovemimoon
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