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Living Alone

WillowWillow Posts: 25 Boards Initiate
I don't know what I am expecting I guess I wanted to create a healthy discussion with people who are in a similar situation. I am about to move out of my parents house and live on my own in an entirely new city.

I am not sure how I am going to react or what I should expect if I am being honest. I am excited as it has been a dream of mine to have my own place but I guess I imagined living with someone or maybe I was dellued by the dream because I didn't think it would happen.

But seeing as it is definitely happening I am not sure how I am feeling about it. Stressed definitely as furniture being delivered is a nightmare apparently 😂. I don't know I wouldnt like my mental health to hit Rock bottom again but feel like it will. I am feeling really self conscious about it all and really alone. I want my days to be productive but feel like I end up being lazy.

Any advice of living alone. I don't have family I can talk to and money will be incredibly tight

Comments

  • Emma_Emma_ 🥦🌻🌿 Vibing with plants and vegan food Posts: 311 Community Manager
    Hey Willow :)

    It sounds like an exciting big step to be living alone for the first time! But understandable it can be pretty nerwracking too!

    I've been living alone for 3 months now after moving to a different city, far from my family and most my friends. It can get pretty lonely at times, especially at the moment with all the restrictions in place but there are some really great things about it too! I thought I'd list some of my favourite things about living alone so far!
    • having the TV all to myself!
    • cooking and eating whatever I want, whenever I want
    • playing music super loud with no one to get annoyed at you and having a solo dance party without feeling judged!
    • doing things just for me, that I enjoy

    It can be tricky too, looking after your mental health, and keeping healthy. I make sure to call my friends or family often to check in and touch base. And try to do some exercise that you enjoy (I'm lucky to be living in an area thats great for nice walks!). It can be really exciting getitng to explore a new city and take your time learning where the best places are to get coffee or go shopping :3

    Here's an article i found with some extra great tips too!

    When it comes to money, have a good search on Google for the best utility supplier deals and any other discounts you can get. Try to keep all your bills organised so you know where they are and when to pay!

    Hope that helps a little, most importantly, enjoy it <3
  • ZenZen Living the Zen life 🧘🏼‍♀️ Posts: 1,993 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Willow!

    It can be sooo frightening when you first move out! I'm living on my own at the moment and when I first moved out I was a bit like "well what now" :joy:

    I agree with @Emma_ that there are so many good point about living alone; no one tells you what to do, you can have 'you' time whenever you want to, no one can judge you for have late night raves by yourself (I know I do it :relaxed:)

    A few tip I would have areee:
    • Get a calander that has EVERYTHING on it! Mines got a budget, bills, shopping list etc. They all seem like little things but I don't know what I'd do without it!
    • Meal plan! The hardest thing I found was deciding what to eat 3x a day everday, so I meal plan before I go shopping to make sure I get enough and it saves a lot of time!
    • Keep in contact with your friends! I moved to another county so I call my mam all the time and I video call my siblings, when I go home I make sure to see my family/friends in person too!
    • If you're going to a new city, go exploring! It helps make it feel more like home when you know the area!

    Moving out can be tough at first but you'll settle in soon enough, keep us updated and we'll always be here with you!
    Alis propriis volat 
    Azziman
  • WillowWillow Posts: 25 Boards Initiate
    Thanks for your comments I really appreciate the support and I know i am not the only one going through this.

    It is an exciting big step. I lived semi on my own before when I lived in a studio flat at uni but wherever I had a problem there was always someone around whether it be at uni or accommodation support. Now if I have a problem there will literally be no one. I am doing something simular @Emma_ as I am moving to a city, miles away from family (I don't have friends but I will be an hour away from the guy I been seeing) I totally get the pros that you mentioned. I think I am looking forward to singing without judgement and being able to film again without feeling embarrassed or someone listening/watching. Being able to sew into the late hours of the morning. Eating what I want when I want. Having baths again cause I love baths and pampering.

    I guess what I am worried about is the lack of human connection I am going to have. The only person that talks to me is this guy and at the moment I am 20 minutes away which is great cause I can see him whenever but being an hour away I feel is slightly different maybe.

    I am currently doing all the travelling. Bless him he's been trying to do his driving test but covid really screwed him over so I am currently doing all the travelling which trust me I don't mind if I always do that cause I am a needy, clingy, hate being alone person so I don't mind putting that kind of work in if it makes me happy. Which he really does.

    But it's not fair to pin all myself onto him if that makes sense cause he could decide to end it and go away then I be back to being completely alone. So want to feel self sufficient and more independant but feel like my mental health after a decade has taken its toll and my life is coming to an end. I feel if this doesn't work out or I don't make anymore friends then there isn't going to be much left of me cause I already lost so much of me already. And I will just be a numb doll sitting in a corner just breathing.

    I am excited and fightened @Eleanor and I know the first few weeks will be rough especially with covid still going on as I can't just walk into town and kill time.

    As for money I will be scrapping the barrel going to try and save as I want to go away when covid is a little bit more chill but I barely will have enough money for 3 meals a day I think it be more 2 meals a day.

    I move out completely this Saturday so will update on how it's going next week unless you have any more advice of which I would Love to hear
    natalie_b
  • Mumucookie02Mumucookie02 Posts: 12 Settling in
    Hi!
    I think at first it was quite daunting. I'd be fumbling around with house keys and trying to check off all the things I needed with me when going out to get groceries or dealing with paperwork like setting up a student finance account or registering with my local hospital. But after a little while, it all gets a lot easier and it's actually a lot of fun!

    Yes, it's quite the responsibility but stay in touch with friends, get to know your neighbours and make new friends. What helped me the most was setting up my place to feel exactly like a home away from home so that I felt reassured that this was nothing new. At least not completely! Like most things you begin to develop a routine and even if you're not very street smart a lot of things make sense.

    Lock your doors, make sure to close any windows at night and play some music or TV in the background if it ever gets too quiet, especially as we're still coming out of lockdown.

    Above all ENJOY! You will learn so much about yourself as you move away from your routine family life and it may be scary at first but it's incredible when you eventually settle.

    Good luck and keep us posted :3
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