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Just a bit down

Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
Idk why I'm writing this, idk what I want to say. Tbh I'm just feeling a little down and not really sure where else to fit this. 

I really do just want to cry. I'm so tired. I want to sleep. 

I didn't even have a bad day. My bf and I spent it walking together. 

I got a negative covid test (I didn't have symptoms, it was a return to uni test). 

I've got interviews for jobs. We've got a flat viewing next week. We've applied for our top choice flat. 

Things are going well... Yet I just feel so bad. 

I wasn't planning on writing this. I've got so much going for me but it just doesn't feel like it's filling me. 

I don't want to do anything else though. Honestly it sounds so so selfish. I really do just feel so low right now. 

:/
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Comments

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Hey @Anch0r33 big hugs. It’s always ok to write things out , it’s a healthy way to deal things and we’re always happy to listen.  <3

    Its ok to just cry things out, there’s absolutely no shame in it. Crying can help let things out. It’s the body’s way of dealing with things.

    You don’t have to have a bad day to feel sad. Sometimes things get on top of us until we can’t keep things in any more. Or sometimes we feel sad without reason, and that’s ok. And it’s always perfectly ok to reach out. 

    Always here if you ever need anything, big hugs. We all care about you <3
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    @SpaceOtter thank you for this. It honestly feels so stupid to be feeling like this. I know it's not, but it feels it. 

    I struggle to cry and deal with emotions. I'm not great at recognising them either but that's something I worked on with my psychotherapist. 

    I just don't know how to feel better 
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  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    That’s ok @Anch0r33 I know I often feel stupid for how I feel. But writing things often helps me let go of them or begin to make sense of them. Always here if you need anything  <3
    This is a quote I like a lot “I cant promise to solve all your problems but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone” 
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    Hey Anchor, 

    I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling so low, it sounds really tough. Sending big hugs <3 

    As Otter said, you don’t have to have had a bad day, bad week, bad anything to feel sad, it’s ok to feel like that even if there’s no reason to. It’s a very unpleasant thing when you can’t pinpoint a reason, I know how that feels. But it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or silly or anything.

    I’m glad you’ve written things down here. I don’t have much advice for you (I really wish I did because this must be so draining for you) but please keep talking about it and don’t keep it all in your head <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Thanks @independent_ I honestly didn't know what else to do. I'm just super sad. 

    I'm glad I've started being able to label emotions, well the main ones anyways. Before I just blocked them out because I didn't know what they were or how to deal with them. 

    I don't know what came over me, I was feeling good earlier. 

    My head feels a bit empty and I'm not sure what really to say, but I guess it's good to just talk about it. 

    My unwell rat has put some weight on and it's amazing. I love her so much. She's a proper wee trooper. 

    I really just need to stop feeling so shit 
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  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    It’s great that you can label your emotions, it can help you to deal with them in the long term.

    That’s great news about your rat putting on a bit of weight, it must be soo scary when they’re not well :( and not nice to watch when they’re like that. 

    Have you got anything specific you do to relax, or something that makes you feel even the smallest bit better? Even something like a bath or a piece of chocolate.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I've been spending a lot of time with my babies (my rats of course lol and hamsters) which is nice. They're all a bit hyper though (crazy wee bums) so it's hard to relax with them! 

    It's nice to just listen and watch them playing and interacting with each other, munching on their food and their wee feet plodding along. They're such little loves. 

    I'm not sure how to feel better but I enjoy just being near my pets. They somehow always manage to make us better, don't they?

    I'm not sure what else I can do, I had a bath earlier. My knee really hurts from all the walking we've been doing. I think it needs another x-ray tbh (there's a hole behind the kneecap lol). 

    I'm gonna see if Matt wants to watch some suits then maybe take an early night <3
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  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    Yes - I couldn’t agree more about pets. Seeing Theo so happy usually makes me feel a bit better. He’s such an affectionate dog too which helps. Pets are great. It’s like unconditional love isn’t it. 

    An early night and Suits sounds like a good idea. Maybe let Matt know how you’re feeling, a chat and a real life hug could go a long way <3 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Sending huge hugs Anchor

    You don't need a reason to feel down and it's totally okay to cry. I hope that you're sleeping soundly, you sound exhausted. 

    Let us know how you feel tomorrow

    <3
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    @Liam thanks pal. I'm not sure what came over me last night tbh, just felt proper shite. 

    I woke up like 10 minutes ago, I really need a drink lol I don't wanna wake Matt up for one but I can't get around the moving boxes to his side :lol: I'll wake him soon...

    I told him how I was feeling before bed and I think talking about it on here helped. 

    I guess we'll see how I'm feeling when I wake up again but for now I'm neither good nor bad. Think I'm just sleepy lol. 
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  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I'm really hungry as well for some reason but I had a big dinner 🤦🏻‍♀️
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  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Glad you shared with Matt how you're feeling, he's a good fella. Any update on the move? 

    ps. hope you managed to eat something now, im always hungry lol
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    @Liam we should hear back early next week about our application. Got a viewing on Wednesday for a different one which obviously we'll cancel if we're accepted. We've been 100% ruled out of 10 properties so far and waiting to hear back from a further 9 from the same place (expecting them all to be a no). 

    The fam has got their move 100% confirmed, and are doing the papers with the council. Need to find out a move date. We've all been boxing for the move though. 

    I had some toast this morning, not feeling too bad today. Just searching for more flats but feels like we've applied to every suitable one. 
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  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    I hear you. Keeping everything crossed for good news! It's such a difficult position you've been put in. Not cool at all, whatever happened to kindness? Sorry it's so rubbish, i hope you get accepted somewhere soon.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Hey @Anch0r33 big hugs, glad to hear you’re feeling a little better today. We’re always here if you ever need anything. Just like Liam said fingers crossed that everything goes well and well done for talking to Matt.

    You’re an awesome friend. And it’s ok to have bad days and periods where you feel low, but I promise we’re always here for you.  <3
  • SciFi_456SciFi_456 Posts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Anchor how are you? Always here to talk ❤️
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Thank you guys <3

    @Liam I know man it's so shitty. We're gonna get forced into something unsuitable, shitty and bad locations instead of having time to find the right place yaknow? 

    @SpaceOtter thank you so much, you're honestly such a great friend. I appreciate you always being there for me. 

    @SciFi_456 I'm doing alright thank you. Appreciate that :) 
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Anchor!
    I don’t really have much to add - it’s okay to feel sad even if things around us don’t seem “bad”. Your feelings are still valid and we are always here to listen. I hope you get a decent place to live. You deserve it <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Thanks @Shaunie I really do appreciate it no hope we get a nice place too, it's been so uncertain - it's not like I can live with any of my bio family ever again especially with covid. It's just shitty 
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  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    edited January 2021
    I'm gonna put it in my own thread so that it doesn't bother anyone but major TW (Plane crash and deaths) 

    It's just something I really need to get off my mind for a bit. 

    Did anyone else see the plane crash that happened yesterday in Indonesia? Whenever something like this happens I obsess over the search results to try and find answers. It's stupid because it won't help anyone. 


    62 people died including 10 children. I saw a man say he was waiting for his wife and 3 children. He literally lost his family in a matter of minutes. 


    I'm super interested in aviation and plane crashed really fascinate me - not in a good way, it's hard to explain but it's like I need to know all the answers. 


    It doesn't put me off flying but it's terrifying. I've always had this feeling that I'm gonna be a sole survivor in a plane crash. It's weird and I know it would never happen. 


    It was incredibly sad though seeing them pull pictures of the wreckage. They've said they've pulled body parts from the sea and passenger belongings. I saw a picture of a small pink frozen t-shirt. Literally for someone under 5. That little girl lost her life yaknow and it's upsetting. 


    I feel like this crash hasn't been widely broadcasted. Only reason I knew about it was because it was 10th on the Twitter trending list for LESS than an hour after it went missing. 


    This is a tragic disaster but I feel like other countries haven't really acknowledged the loss of lives. 


    It looks like they've found the black box and are in the process of recovering it. This should hopefully give some vital answers as to what happened. 


    The speculation regarding this is crazy though. The plane dropped 10000ft in 21 seconds - which people are saying is faster than regular stall and freefall. Some people are saying the pilot literally had to full throttle nose dive into the ocean. Others are saying there must have been a bomb on board. 


    I mean. I'm not sure what I believe, I want to believe that the plane stalled and was unrecoverable and simply fell out of the sky. But at the same time so much is in place that this shouldn't happen. This pilot is supposed to be fully trained to deal with recovering planes in this sort of situation. 


    My personal opinion is actually closest to the bomb theory although if true it's absolutely shocking that security didn't do their jobs. Going by the path indicated and the speed of it falling, if the plane was to simply explode in mid air you'd think that the black box and other tracking parts would be able to have less air resistance and would likely fall faster which could explain the speed of the fall. 


    This is actually the most hopeful answer. If the passengers simply blew up in mid air they wouldn't know any different. Otherwise they'd have went through 21 seconds of pure dear while they literally FELL out the sky, the immediate impact with the water at that speed would've killed them all immediately as well. 


    The fact they're finding body parts tells me the impact sent pieces absolutely everywhere. If the plane did explode you'd think someone would've heard the bang - which someone actually did hear but that was most likely the impact imo. 


    I'm not sure why I wrote this but I think I just needed to get my thoughts out. 


    It's absolutely heartbreaking and gutwrenching to think about. My thoughts are with everyone affected by it. 


    I'm really saddened by plane crashed because they literally have no chance in situations like this. All you can hope for is minimal fear and painless deaths. 


    Yesterday also saw the 32nd anniversary of the M1 plane crash where people actually survived. The plane couldn't make it to the runway and it split into 3 parts. 


    It was also 1 year yesterday since another plane crash which I can't remember the specific details for. 


    What are the chances of plane crashes happening on the same day 3 times over history?? It's crazy. Definitely avoid flying that date. 

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  • SneakylilmochaSneakylilmocha Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Hi @Anch0r33!
    Major Tw:
    The news is trending right now from 2 days ago and it's horrifying when I heard about my hometown on the news. It is a rare accident because of explosion though, I heard that the plane was too old to use and that's why it exploded and a lot of people died.
    Anyways, that's really a good research you have there Anchor, I never knew the dates of plane crashes are very near to each accident. I'm not sure what to say but I also want to say something
    Have a good day Anchor :heart:


    "Grow from the dirt they left you in."
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    @Sneakylilmocha

    TW: 

    Yeah it's crazy. I saw something that witnesses heard two loud bangs. I'm guessing one was the explosion and the other was them hitting the sea. The plane's shattered into pieces. They've located the black boxes which is good. Although there's no signs of survivors. It's horrifying isn't it? 

    Yeah it's still not trending for me, I'm guessing we get different trend lists. It's shocking. 

    Looks like there was 3 infants and 7 children on board. There was a full family of 16 on board. 

    I just hope they went quickly and didn't know what was happening. Makes me so sad. 
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