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JacobJacob Posts: 3 Newbie
edited December 2020 in Anything Goes
Hi my name is Jake. I feel really lonely tonight after a falling out with my step dad. He's a drunkard and takes his anger out on me. I was feeling lonely after a fight and went to talk to kooth and i was told that im lucky because even though my step dad is mean my mum isn't and some people have both mean step dads and mums. It made me feel like my feelings werent serious enough to talk about and so ive found this website and i hope theyre serious enough to talk about here because i really do feel alone.

this is what kooth said to me... :(

Past UserSneakylilmochaSciFi_456Dandelion_Tech_Addict_Girl


  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Hi Jacob it’s nice to meet you  :) . I’m sorry kooth made your feelings feel invalid, sometimes when volunteers are trying to help by being positive they can accidentally say something that I doesn’t feel very helpful. It sounds like things are really tough with your step dad. We’re always here to listen if you need anything.  Anything that is causing someone upset or distress deserves support. (Sorry if any of this came across patronising) . We’re always happy to listen <3
  • SciFi_456SciFi_456 Posts: 131 The Mix Convert
    Hi there @Jacob it's nice to meet you.

    Sorry to read this. Sorry to see that Kooth dismissed your feelings ☹️. No need to feel lonely here 🙂.

    If you wanna talk, I'm here.

    -Liam 🎄
  • DandelionDandelion Posts: 1,911 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Jacob I’m sorry this has happened. We’re all here for you x
    The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction. 
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Keep being you<3 Posts: 1,369 Wise Owl
    Hi Jacob sending hugs 🥰🥰
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Jacob, welcome to the mix!! :smiley:

    I'm so sorry about what the KOOTH counsellor said to you, it's really unhelpful and actually kind of stupid. It's almost like saying "Ah, you broke your leg? You're lucky, you could have broken both legs!" It's true, but it's irrelevant. What's going on for you right now is hurtful for YOU, it doesn't matter what anyone else is going through. We really shouldn't compare. I wouldn't consider you lucky to have a rubbish parent, pal and I'd consider you unlucky to have come across such a rubbish counsellor who clearly needs a touch more training! I'm sorry you had to experience that.

    Have you told anyone like a trusted adult about your stepdad being drunk and taking his anger out on you? You really don't deserve that and you shouldn't have to live in fear. Things do and will get better though pal

    I'm sorry that you're feeling alone, know that you're never truly alone when you're here at The Mix though 🤗 

    Past User
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Community Champion Posts: 6,474 Master Poster
    That is an awful thing that the Kooth counsellor said to you and it can be really hard when you just feel ignored and dismissed. You are never alone on The Mix. Have you left feedback about the chat that you had yesterday on Kooth?
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
    Past UserPast User
  • JacobJacob Posts: 3 Newbie
    thanks. i have sent a message i was scared that the same counsellor will anser it but someone nicer ansered and she said she will pass it on to people higher up so it can be looked into. I didnt want to complain but i didnt think it was nice to say that im lucky after i told her how bad my step dad was and liam thats what i thought that i shouldnt have to compare. thanks dancer i have left feedback now. 
    Past User
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    That’s really good to hear Jacob, I’m glad you managed to talk someone else and give them feedback. That was a really good suggestion from Dancer.  :)

    How are you feeling today if you don’t mind me asking? 

    We’re here if you ever need anything, always happy to listen . Sending big hugs  <3

  • JacobJacob Posts: 3 Newbie
    Hi i feel a bit better now after i talked to a new counsellor who seems like they do actually want to talk to me. they let me message and they are really nice and helpful and havent called me lucky so it feels like my problems are big enough to talk there. I was worried my feelings wasnt serious enough to talk about after that but i was wrong. I think that counsellor who said what she did was mad at me for some reason im not sure why though.

    It felt like she was really having ago at me i kept saying sorry but she said i was looking for an argument but i wasnt i just wanted someone kind to talk to so i was so confused. i dont think i want another chat in the live chat like before because i hated it feeling like she was having ago at me i dont want to make another counsellor mad but i do like messaging the new counsellor who is really kind.

    anyway i left feedback and now some one has replied and they said they are looking into it further to see what happened and why so thats good they also said  "What you have described is not at all in line with our usual approach towards the many young people who come to us for help - far from it. " so i think that is good to share here in case i put anyy one off from using kooth because i am talking to someone nice now i think those 2  people was maybe just in a bad mood for some reason and taken it out on me so dont be put off from kooth there is nice people on there as well. they listen to feed back and answer as well.
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