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DBT

SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
I’m being offered DBT again. I’ve had it but it was only for 6 weeks. Then I choose 12 weeks of occupational therapy instead of MBT. The service for BPD has changed since then and now offering 15 sessions of DBT and 5 121 sessions. 

I’ve had two seasons that see if you think you want the support or not. It was called “is this for me”. These was online via video chat because of corona. It was okay. But I still don’t know if “this is for me” lol. I have to tell them within 2 weeks and I just still don’t know. I only got referred to the service about two months ago so happened very quick but idek

Mostly because don’t have privacy at home and I wish it was face to face. Like they obviously wouldn’t carry over the video if didn’t need to. But did say if things change they would go back to face to face. But when would that be. It’s just a shame cause of corona. 

I’m not sure whether I should agree to it or not. Realistically I’d just like to start when it’s face to face but I guess they did say can be referred back at anytime. But i don’t know 
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

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    Mel_Mel_ Posts: 574 Incredible Poster
    Is it possible to start it then if you feel like it's not for you then you can stop it? I just feel like it's so hard to get any dbt your best idea is to try what they're offering you. You just have to do what works best for you tbh
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Mel_ said:
    Is it possible to start it then if you feel like it's not for you then you can stop it? I just feel like it's so hard to get any dbt your best idea is to try what they're offering you. You just have to do what works best for you tbh
    Na I don’t think so cause the two first sessions was mostly about what is DBT and them saying if you agree there is commitment to going to every session. Unless have valid reason to miss one. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    tkdogtkdog Posts: 281 The Mix Regular
    edited August 2020
    Ah yeah it seems difficult you cant just like drop it when you want to.
    Yeah not having privacy at home is a real issue and if you don't feel comfortable that may not be a great unless you can find a room that is well insulated or a time of day etc. Did you raise these concerns with them?
    Yeah it is hard with all this corona perhaps it would be better to wait for in person but as you say there is no knowing when it will be.
    In the meantime is there any other services they offer alternatively?
    Text based therapy and that. Or some sort of class?  I hope you find something that works 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    I mean if I agree to it I wanna do it all. Otherwise it’s a waste. 

    It was only 2 month for the referral to go through but I think I was put down as an urgent referral so I don’t think it would be that quick if I said no and asked when corona stuff was bit better 

    @tkdog
    jist feel so stuck with what to do 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    I’ve said yes to DBT finally lol. 

    ive got a start date for the 9th October 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I hope the DBT works for you, I'm glad you'll be getting the support you deserve ❤️ keep us updated with how it goes!  
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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    Proud of you! Would be good to hear how it goes - I really hope it helps <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks

     I’m really upset today i don’t know why. Does anyone want to speak 😢
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie Do you want to start a thread? I've got some random meetings throughout the day but I'd be happy to chat on a thread? <3 
    Alis propriis volat 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Eleanor said:
    @Shaunie Do you want to start a thread? I've got some random meetings throughout the day but I'd be happy to chat on a thread? <3 
    I think made too many thread recently but thank you! I’m very angry today. And just fed up to be alive I think. Everything that is happening around me today I’m just shouting at. Even Teddy asking me to play with him I’m just telling him to fuck offf. My mum speaking telling her to shut the fuck up. Everything is fucking irritating my brain. Can’t ducking take life anymore just want to be fucking dead 😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie That's tough, I hate when I'm in a bad mood and I don't even know why! Do you know what's making you feel like this at the moment, perhaps your frustrated at something else and it's coming out? If we can get down to the bottom of it, we might be able to find a way to make it better :) 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    No idea what it is. Maybe too much is building up 


    haven’t taken meds for two days cause want to see it make me less tired but it hasn’t still tired of life. 

    I think the only way to feel better today is to hurt myself to get rid of some anger but I really don’t want to but feel like I need to 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

    I see my gp at 5 to look at my tonsils. I know what’s going to happen - nothing. And I think I’ll just end up fucking breaking down in front of him if he says nothing wrong with my tonsils
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie It's okay to not know why we feel the way we do and as you said, perhaps it is the fact that too much is building up. Do you think that it could help to write a list of all the things that are causing you to feel down and perhaps tackle each one separetly? Or you could rip the list up, what ever would make you feel a bit better :) 

    What do you usually do when you're trying to avoid SH urges? 

    Also, I know that you have some concerns about going to the GP later, perhaps try not to concentrate on this at the moment (I know that's easier said than done!). It's impossible to know for sure what will come of the appointment so we can tackle that one in the moment - if you're not happy with what the GP has said, you're free to ask them more questions or to tell them that you disagree what they have said. They'll be happy to talk it through with you :) 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    One thing is teddy is pissing me off some much. I let him out in the garden. All he does is guard the fence because out fence is shit as anything where there is massive gaps between them. He forgets to wee and poo cause he is too on the look out. So I let him in as doing nothing but he’s back trying to tell me
    ij needs a  wee or poo. And I’m so fucking fed up cause I let him back out and does nothing so I’m like okay back in and he ducking poos and wees in the house. So fucking fed up of him asking as well as hearing him barking and hearing people tell him to shut up. that I have 0 money but looking into fence. Our garden is small but it will be a total of 1,600. For them to take down one we have now and put new one In. My dad says it’s dodgy cause asking 10% of the money first before even coming round. I said I don’t give a fuck you fuckong look for someone to do it then 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    And I just hit teddy earlier not too hard. He’s just pissing me off. Now I feel bad. He came up to me licking me asking forgiveness 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Laying down with blanket over me and headphone loud so I can’t hear or see anything around me otherwise I will just ducking get annoyed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2020
    I have a plan on what to do if he says nothing is wrong with my tonsils

    POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING 

     im going to bring something with me and take it out and say “I will remove them myself”

    or I will say  okay. From now on then I’m going to not eat until you remove them
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Fucking kill me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I'm all done with my uni now. How did it go with the GP?

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    He just looked in my mouth and said nothing wrong with tonsils. I said well can’t say that because you can’t see my whole tonsils. And said okay will refer you. I was omg I should of already been referred. I said if doesn’t happen soon I will remove them myself. 😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie That's great that you got a referral though! - that's a step in the direction you want isn't it?

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Eleanor said:
    @Shaunie That's great that you got a referral though! - that's a step in the direction you want isn't it?

    No. 
    I thought I already was. But clearly lied to shut me up.:(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie oh that's strange then, I'm happy you are now though so you can hopefully get it sorted ❤️
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    He might be lying aswell though:(. But thanks
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie that's true but you can always give reception a ring to ask where the referral is at the moment and they will confirm 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2020
    Eleanor said:
    @Shaunie that's true but you can always give reception a ring to ask where the referral is at the moment and they will confirm 
    Really. Have you done that before?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie Personally I haven't done it before - but I you can always call up and ask what the next steps are with your referral and they will chase it up for you 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,499 Skive's The Limit
    Oh thanks @Eleanor

    actually feeling bit calmer now. I took antidepressant. Might of been the not taking antidepressant for two days that made me a bit more irritable than usual 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie That's certainly a possibility. I take antidepressants too and if I forget to take them then I feel awful for a few days afterwards!
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