I don’t really know how to start this or even say this..
today I finally opened up the can of worms and told someone about the abuse I’d suffered for years as well as the rapes and my miscarriage and genuinely it makes me wanna die.
I just don’t know how to feel about it I want to cry I want to hurt myself I just don’t know. I don’t know how I’m meant to feel. She asked how I was feeling and I said fine but I REALLY AM NOT FINE. I’ve been fighting the urges to self harm. My eating and restricting is getting out of control as I’m trying to use it as a tool to keep some balance in all of this... it’s not working.
I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much like i feel it shouldn’t because it’s not like any of that still happens to me. It’s in the past.
I just don’t know how I’m going to get through this by myself
I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.