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Friends and Love
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This may seem a really old subject and I know you will tell me to just do a search but I think this is different to other peoples' problems....
I've known this girl for nearly two years now and even though it's a short period of time and I'm only sixteen I still think she's the best thing in my life and i truely do love her. At first I was attracted to her because she is very good looking and then I found out a few months ago she also fancied me at first but then all that was just left and we were friends.
However now i've found myself really liking her again and i think she still likes me but i just don't have the confidence to try anythin because i dont wanna ruin our friendship (although we're not exactly the closest of friends because we live about 5 miles apart and i dont actually see her in person much outside school)
Anyway, last we were at a party together and i'd probably blown the perfect opportunity to kiss her. Then later on i saw her with this other guy who is very much one of the "cool people" of my year and intimidates the hell outta me and, pretty unexpectedly, it hit me really hard and made me realise how much i really do love her. I initially thought i should just wise up and see a girl and i did but it just made me feel even worse! So me and her had a huge talk afterwards until dawn, but i just couldn't bring myself to tell her how i feel about her and it's really cutting me up badly!
So what i wanna know is does anybody think i should just leave it as it is and have a friendship with her or tell her how i really feel and hope she feels the same?
Sorry this is such a long post but it's hard to summerise it all down and i just wanted to get it out. thanks
I've known this girl for nearly two years now and even though it's a short period of time and I'm only sixteen I still think she's the best thing in my life and i truely do love her. At first I was attracted to her because she is very good looking and then I found out a few months ago she also fancied me at first but then all that was just left and we were friends.
However now i've found myself really liking her again and i think she still likes me but i just don't have the confidence to try anythin because i dont wanna ruin our friendship (although we're not exactly the closest of friends because we live about 5 miles apart and i dont actually see her in person much outside school)
Anyway, last we were at a party together and i'd probably blown the perfect opportunity to kiss her. Then later on i saw her with this other guy who is very much one of the "cool people" of my year and intimidates the hell outta me and, pretty unexpectedly, it hit me really hard and made me realise how much i really do love her. I initially thought i should just wise up and see a girl and i did but it just made me feel even worse! So me and her had a huge talk afterwards until dawn, but i just couldn't bring myself to tell her how i feel about her and it's really cutting me up badly!
So what i wanna know is does anybody think i should just leave it as it is and have a friendship with her or tell her how i really feel and hope she feels the same?
Sorry this is such a long post but it's hard to summerise it all down and i just wanted to get it out. thanks
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Comments
There was a girl I liked (and still do), I told her I liked her coz I thought she liked me too, but turns out she never liked me, but we are still good friends too.
I've seen people on this message board who have told their friends what they think of them, but then they lost completely, and were no longer friends with them.
So it depends on whether you think you should risk it or not. If I was you, I would, but thats just me.
From Chris
The worst thing that can happen is her saying lets just be friends. You're only young once (why im i using that expression? im only 18!) go for it!
It aint
Talk to her about it. Explain how you feel, find out how she feels and take it from there
This is probably useless to you. Not really advice, just my story. I fancied this lad for almost a year. We were good friends, but I was pretty sure we would never be more. I told him I liked him anyway and he said we wouldn't be more, but that we'd always be really good friends. For me that was the worst thing to do. He started avoiding me and things got really tense and now we don't speak to each other unless we have to. I lost one of my best friends and I really regret telling him now.
If it's a friend you can't bear to lose, I would recommend not telling her. It's been a year since I fucked up my friendship and I still hurt over it.
Learning from bitter experience - i loved, yes I DO mean LOVED totally, truly madly deeply, to quote the song, this girl and i never told her for 3 years. We were the bst of mates, we understood each other, we operated on the same mental wavelenth, we could tell everything about each other just from the tone of our voices or the looks in our eyes. But i never told her and then she moved away to Brazil with her Dad, who got a job there and i regret it all the time so much, so what have you got to loose? TELL HER! And don't be cheap, go for it...flowers, music, th4 classic Romeo and Juliet stand at her window and shout at her at night! Do it and she will (hopefully) love you for ti!
Good luck, man.
You face two choices: you either carry on as you are as "friends" and possibly regret not telling her how you really feel or you can go on and speak from the heart.
It seems neither way is without a downfall but I think you should follow your heart - tell her. You may live to regret it and if you lose a friend, that's maybe easier to get over but loving someone without telling them, that's tougher to bear.
I think I'm going to tell the girl I fancy how I feel because living a pretence is not what I do (sorry Black Knight if you're reading - ignored your advice).
Sorry the advice isn't very useful