Sexting and Safety

VilJaVilJa Posts: 28 Cool Newbie
edited May 10 in Sex & Relationships
Hello everyone!

In today's world we are all exposed to social media and a lot of the times our relationships are dependent on the use of technology. I wanted to start this thread to talk about how we all navigate the world of dating, with or without sexting, what we consider safe practice, whether we find it helpful, what we are comfortable with and whether or not we like to indulge in it. Not everyone wants to indulge in it and that's completely okay too. 

I think it is important to discuss sexting because there aren't any rules and measures to protect us and it is important to learn for ourselves how we feel about it and how to protect ourselves. 

Feel free to share your thoughts on this and don't hesitate to ask questions! And of course, any tips on safe sexting are also welcome!

Cannot wait to hear from you all, 

Viloka  <3


  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling Posts: 168 The Mix convert
    Hi @VilJa

    I love this thread idea! 

    I know I've definitely relied a lot on technology in past relationships but also avoided it in others. I've been in the fortunate position to have been with some lovely, trustworthy people so I've had no problem sexting in the past. Sometimes sexting can be useful as a "getting to know you" tool for fledgling relationships or for reigniting passion into a long term relationship.

    Personally, standard practice for me is to only exchange pictures without identifying marks or my face. If something happens that I'm uncomfortable with, I shut it down immediately. And almost immediately after break-ups, I've made it a ritual to both delete and have my partner delete any pictures they have. In some ways, that's a positive step in accepting the break up as well.

    As for secure storage, I'm pretty paranoid about hacking in general so my laptop and phone are like Fort Knox. All my devices are encrypted, I've cut ties to Google Drive and my passwords change weekly. Overall though, my experiences have been very positive and my privacy hasn't been violated.
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck OxfordshirePosts: 219 The Mix convert
    As for secure storage, I'm pretty paranoid about hacking in general so my laptop and phone are like Fort Knox. All my devices are encrypted, I've cut ties to Google Drive and my passwords change weekly. Overall though, my experiences have been very positive and my privacy hasn't been violated.
    I love how serious you are about Internet security, keep it up 
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 61 Miniposter
    Hi @VilJa

    What a great thread idea, so so important! 

    In my experience I have not had problems with safety, however I do think that is because I have always been a very private person in certain situations - which I do not see as a bad thing. I have only trusted my boyfriend of 3 years with anything that I wouldn't want others to see, and even that was only after I built a lot of trust. I think it's always really important to do what YOU feel comfortable with. If anybody pressures you, that is a big warning sign in my opinion. It is completely okay to take time, it is your choice completely. 

    Agreeing with @chubbydumpling, a great tip for safe sexting is to always make sure your face or identifying features are outside of the photo. That way, if anybody does break your trust, you have supported yourself. There's also a lot of support for situations where photos are shared, so it's important to ask for help in this situation - it is nothing to be embarrassed about. 

  • ValerialettoValerialetto Posts: 48 Cool Newbie
    Hello @VilJa,
    really good thread to discuss :)
                 I totally agree with @chubbydumpling cause you never know what can happen and it's always important to keep such things safe.
                   In fact, I have never had a need in sexting and do not really see the reason to  do it. To warm up your relatonship it's always possible to organize nice date or smth like that. I guess sexting can be good option just in case if people feel shy ...not everybody is ready to talk about some naughty things in private and as a first step to do sexting is a good option. Otherwise , in my opinion, there is always a risk to fall in internet relationship (imaginary relationship) when you are mostly comunicating with your partner via texting and nothing real is going on in your life. Proably I am too conservative but I guess private comunication (whatever topic is) is always better :)
  • VilJaVilJa Posts: 28 Cool Newbie

    @chubbydumpling I think it is super important tot take care of what you put out there and protecting yourself, and I think it is fantastic that you keep your private information so secure, and I think that should be normal practice for everyone! 

    @coc0mac I think trust is so important when you are divulging something so intimate to someone else. I'm in a long distance relationship, so it is kind of the only way for us to use technology to be intimate. But it is so so important to build a trustworthy relationship before you do that.

    @Valerialetto If you feel like there's no reason to do it, that is completely fine too, it all depends on your comfort level. Of course it is important to establish personal relationships in person, but sometimes things don't work that way, but everyone is different, and everyone's preferences are also different. It is okay to be conservative, it is your life and your choice what you like to share and how you like to share it! so dont worry! :)

  • SophiASophiA Posts: 52 Cool Newbie
    This is a great thread 

    i definitely agree with your ideas and now would only send them to someone i trust. i have previously sent to someone i knew, but maybe not as much i should to be sending what i had. However i was lucky and there was no big scandal, although this was something i was very worried about and frightened me in to being much more careful about what and who I share things with. 

    I think it is definitely something you should only do if you feel 100% comfortable with it and something that you should never feel forced in to. Personally i only ever do it if I’m feeling good about myself and will never do it when i dont feel 100% about myself/ body, even if my bf asked, but he knows my boundaries and i think that that’s important.
  • MsBingoMsBingo Posts: 64 Miniposter
    Hey @VilJa,

    Great thread idea! Really agree with what everyone has said about being very cautious.

    I had a boyfriend a few years ago who I thought I could trust, after we broke up he refused to delete pictures of me. So would definitely agree with @chubbydumpling and say never ever include your face or identifying features. No matter how much you trust someone now, circumstances can always change!
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck OxfordshirePosts: 219 The Mix convert
    Love this thread btw 

    I've do this about an few days ago to my boyfriend and I sent pictures and was proper talking him up,

    He happily agreed to delete them all after I found out someone drugged me at college (that's an whole other story) although he did like the complement I gave him,

    Along as I'm feeling save and secure, as I'm quite self confident with my body except my chest but no one will ever see that, I would just cover it up and do it over an secure source and something I can control, 
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