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TW - Words

NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
in Sex & Relationships
Words have bad association to them, no matter how many times I try to write what is in my mind, whether it is talking through flashbacks in Counselling or from when I’ve told police previously the badness of words do not lessen, it is the association, bad memories about them affect me, not just ‘a word’ I cannot write them here now and when I hear of read them they have the same impact.

The words I cannot write make me feel ashamed, dirty, bad, naughty, scared, fearful/frightened, embarrassed, hurt, vulnerable. 

I don’t expect anyone to understand but ‘just words, can trigger, take me back to where I don’t want to be

I’m sorry for not being normal 

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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I haven't been through anything near what you have, and can't imagine what it's like for you - but words have had bad associations for me. So I know they're not "just words" <3

    Sending hugs if you'd like them <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,496 Skive's The Limit
    Thats understandable and i know may people including myself get triggered by words. We all have unique things that trigger us. From smells to words to songs to situations and all sorts. Will i cant say i understand as all different but i understand how hard it can feel. 
    My triggers have the same impact they did the first time i got triggered by it. I dont think that will change tbh. But what i have learnt is how i manage it after being triggered and do things to calm me

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    mags98mags98 Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    Hi @NatalieMT

    Everyone has different triggers, sometimes even the things that may seem very small to some can have massive impacts on others. Don't apologise for not being normal. You are normal, there is nothing you said out of the ordinary and there are many people who feel the same way. 

    Knowing your triggers is very useful and sometimes hard to discover so well done on finding them out. Highlighting what Shaunie said, there are ways to manage the effects of the triggers such as trying to calm yourself down. Have you discovered any coping mechanisms when you get triggered by words? 
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    SophiASophiA Posts: 59 Boards Initiate
    Hey 

    I think everyone gets triggered by things, so you are not alone in that. But I can imagine it’s difficult if its a word and you hear it in conversation unexpectedly, to have to go through all those feelings especially when you are least expecting it would be hard. As Shaunie and mags have suggested learning how to deal with these could help in these moments and hopefully make things a little bit better. 
    Ps normal is boring  ;)

    Keep being you, big love
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    VilJaVilJa Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
    Hey,

    I am sorry that you feel like you're alone in this, that is not at all true. Words have meaning and impact and it is okay to feel those things. I can tell you that being triggered or affected by words, is not uncommon, in fact,  sometimes I find myself reacting badly to certain words when they are directed to me, and often I feel like I lose control over my feelings. You do not need to apologise for who you are, or how you feel, and what does it even mean to be normal? None of us are normal, that is just a societal term meant to make us feel like we do not belong. But we are all different and there is no one way of thinking, believing, and behaving. Be true to yourself and that I promise you will make you the happiest!

    Take care, and don't be afraid to be yourself!  ;)
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    NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Thank you all for your understanding.

    I don’t know how to say what I want to say, thoughts and words are jumbled. I don’t know if talking helps but everything just feels impossible. 

    Sorry and thank you, your words do make sense.
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    NatalieMTNatalieMT Posts: 177 Helping Hand
    Mags I’m struggling with grounding or snapping out of flashbacks, thoughts and anxiety. I don’t feel safe in myself or places around of me.

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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl

    Hi, 

    I just wanted to start off by saying that speaking about our feelings is one of the best things we can do to help ourselves, however it can often feel very difficult to do. So the fact you are sharing this with us is a really positive and courageous step; you really deserve to feel supported. 

    I really understand triggers can be scary things, but the fact you can identify such triggers is a great step towards getting the support you deserve. You also mentioned you are sorry for not being normal and I just wanted to let you know that there is no such thing as “normal”. Being yourself is absolutely the best thing you can be; you are not alone. 

    You’ve mentioned you don’t know how to say the things you want to say because the words are all jumbled. It seems like you are feeling quite overwhelmed, and it can be really difficult to talk about our feelings when we are feeling this way. I am wondering if you have ever tried writing your feelings down? Some people like to write a letter to themselves or to somebody they trust - even if they never share this letter. Or, you might find it useful to just write all of your feelings in a jumbled way on the page - that way you can physically see the words you want to say, and you could perhaps try and make sense of them in that way. How would you feel about this?

    You are doing really well by talking about this. Take good care :)

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    mags98mags98 Posts: 287 The Mix Regular
    NatalieMT said:
    Mags I’m struggling with grounding or snapping out of flashbacks, thoughts and anxiety. I don’t feel safe in myself or places around of me.

    Hi Natalie, 

    Sorry to hear about your struggles. At first, it is quite difficult coping with flashbacks and learning what works for you but once you get a hang of it, it becomes so much easier.

    I found this article from Mind quite useful when I struggled snapping out of flashbacks. Don't pay attention to the fact it's about PTSD nor start worrying whether you fit the criteria. I just thought the information on there might help you find ways to cope with the flashbacks.
    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/self-care-for-ptsd/#.XMc03pNKiRs 
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